After what happened with A.L.I.E, it took Clarke and the other a while to go back to things and still it was hard. Arkadia was building back slowly, people worked into making little housing and strengthening the walls.
Some were overwhelmed with guilt of what they did, like Abby, still not believing she almost got her daughter killed.
Bellamy was trying to help as much as he could to surpass the fact that he was not able to help Octavia in her grief.
Monty and Jasper helped each other,
Raven's pain was back, but she was happy to be herself again.
Clarke stayed, she tried to help as much as she could, like she was attempting to be forgiven for her absence. Surprisingly, she was one of the rare who could talk to the Blake girl without being rejected. The hatred between the two women slowly fading into mutual support. Clarke went to check on Raven every two days to check on her leg and from time to time she spent time with Monty and a little less with Jasper since he needed time to recover and forgive her for Mont Weather. She was smoothly trying to find her place.
Life was gently resuming its course.
What everyone did not know was that almost a week after they came back from their fight against A.L.I.E, Clarke and Bellamy started having a habit.
FLASHBACKS
It started a few days after their fight against A.L.I.E.
Clarke couldn't sleep. Dreaming about bloody faces, loved ones dying and the end of the world was not her favorite pass time. So after a few hours of tossing and turning in her bed, she decided that she needed some fresh air. She quickly put on her boots, a jacket and went outside.
Leaving the tent, a shiver went down her spine as the cool wind blew around her tired body. She walked until she was in front of one extremity of the fence and she sat on the ground, enjoying the silence.
Her thought went back to their losses, her losses. For once she allowed herself to have selfish thought, thinking about how much she's been through, how much she's hurting and how much she changed. She was surrounded by people, things were pretty good in comparison to a few weeks prior. Everyone was working hard to forget but Clarke knew it was impossible, they had to outdo it. Despite all that, she was feeling alone, like every person, every event was her responsibility. She lost friends, allies, and a lover but she couldn't show it to the other, "Love is weakness." she remember hearing and saying. But what was the point in this life if it was just about survival? Her heart was heavy, like she couldn't breathe. She was breaking and it felt like nothing could fix her.
After a few moments of complete quietness and starring at the stars. She heard footsteps just behind her.
"Clarke?" A familiar voice asked, the footsteps drew closer and he sat at her side.
"Hi." She softly answered, still looking at the stars.
From the corner of her eyes, she saw him looking at her.
"I couldn't sleep. I keep having nightmares." She answered his unasked question.
After a few moments of silence, she continued.
"Do you think that with time it's going to be easier?" She asked, turning her head to look at him.
It was one of the thing that scared her the most. The fact that she was only able to open up like that with him. He had such an impact on her.
"I don't know." Bellamy answered frankly.
"But if we don't try to get better by our self or by helping each other, we'll never know. That's why you need to stop blaming yourself for everything." He continued. It was also something that scared her. How he knew what she was feeling or thinking.
"You're seriously the one telling me that?" Clarke asked, amused.
He chuckled in response.
"It would seems."
After a pause, he sighed and continued.
"When Gina died, I thought that it was my fault and I lost it. And because of that Lincoln is dead, and my sister barely talks to me." He looked at the ground.
"I'm trying to be better, to be the man my mom raised me to be, to make the right decision. Something I thought impossible after what I've done. I was too proud and angry to let people help me, but after everything that happened, I realized that we need each other. You need us as much as we need you. So don't make the same mistake I did." He said seriously, his eyes not leaving hers.
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For once Clarke didn't argue because she knew he was right and for once after many months of being the strong, selfless Wanheda. She allowed herself to be Clarke, the young woman.
Bellamy was close enough for her to lay her head on his shoulder, she let out a sigh and closed her eyes. Bellamy was surprised by that scruffiness but wasn't complaining. If Clarke was able to let go, to let her guard down, why not him? With one of the people he cared the most, the one he relied on.
In turn, he let his head fall on hers and placed his arm around her waist.
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END OF FLASHBACKS
Since that day, they would meet every night at that exact same place and when tiredness was too strong they would go back to their own tent. But it was like something changed that evening between them. It wasn't voluntary, it was the little things. For example, they would always eat together alone or with their friends, who, with time started to notice their behavior changing toward each other. It was like they needed each other to be happy, that if they were apart, something was missing because they shared everything, their fear, their doubt and they knew that they could count on each other.
