Until the bitter end.

Chapter 9: Girls night! (Part 2)/Darkness.

"Alright. Now, keep talking Turner."
Arielle said, looking at me.
"Fine. Well i was saying that uhm... Miles is really hot and stuff-"
A bunch of giggles came out from Nick and the two girls bursted into laughter.
"-What?! He's hot!" I yelled, the whole bar heard me and even that random guy with the two pairs of sunglasses laughed. I gave up, laughing with them.

"Yo! Another round, dude! Bring it on!" Jennifer told one of the waiters.
In less than 5 minutes another round of tequila shots was on our table.
"Okay. What's the naughtiest thing you've done with him, 'Lex?" Ari asked, then drank her shot.
"Phone sex." I whispered, followed by another round of laughter.
"It was good, man! I mean, i'm not proud to confess it but it was alright. I missed him so he gave me what i wanted." I grinned and tugged at the collar of my t-shirt.

"What about you, Nick?"
"Me?" Nick asked.
"No. The italian dude in the other table. Of course i'm asking you!" Jennifer exclaimed, rolling her eyes as she laughed.
"Well... I, uh, i like Matty. I like him a lot! He's so cute and so nice to me and he defends me all the time, but sometimes he's rude to other people and that... Makes me a bit sad. It's alright, though. He's lovely." Nick replied to Jen's question and smiled.
"Amazing. What about sex?"
"Oh-em-gee! Don't ask me that!" The little guy blushed and covered his mouth with his hand.

"I haven't fucked Jamie so i can't tell you guys about it. Anyways, he's hot. I'm probably gonna marry his face. Only his face." Jennifer exclaimed, taking her phone out of her bag and screaming "It's dead!".
"Fine. Let's have a sleepover. Where?" Arielle said.
"Uhm... My house? Maybe Miles will let us."
"Amazing. Let's go!"

-_/\_/\/\_-

"Lads, this is a palace!" I said, as i opened the front door of Miles' flat.
"Woah. Miles wasn't lying when he told me he wanted a bigass house." Ari looked around, walking to the living room while i closed the door.

"Woah! Arielle, Nick and Jen! Nice to have you guys here! I was just making dinner, but i think it's enough for all of us. It's pasta!"
"Fucking amazing!" Arielle exclaimed and greeted Miles with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Jen high-fived him and Nick hugged him as well.

"C'mon guys, let's go eat."

We all walked to the dinning room, taking a seat in the large table. Nick and Arielle sat next to each other and Jen sat next to me.
"Laa? Baby, can you help me, please?" I heard Miles' voice come from the kitchen and stood up from my seat.
"Sure, da- Mi!"
"Were you about to call Miles 'daddy'?" Jen asked, bursting into laughter.
"Shut the fuck up!"

I walked to the kitchen and found Miles getting everything ready.
"Hi."
"I missed you today, babe." He said, and stopped what he was doing just to kiss me.
"I missed you too Mi. It was a long, long day, and i think the girls want to stay here tonight. Arielle is almost drunk, though. I think it would be great if they did."
"Great, 'cause Matt and Jamie called an hour ago, they're coming over and i think we're going out, so you can have a sleepover with the lads and i will stay on Matt's. Are you okay with that, love?"
"Sure, Mi!" I said, and kissed him again, smiling.

We both heard the door being open and Nick squeaking, which could only mean one thing; Matt was here. Not only him, but Jamie too.

"Let's go serve them, princess."
"Yeah but; just wanted to tell you that i love you a fucking damn lot and i'm happy to be your fiancé."
"I love you a lot more, babyboy."

-_/\_/\/\_-

"And i said 'And you're underage'!"
Everyone was laughing as Matt told the story of how Miles and I met, since he wouldn't let us tell it by ourselves.
"But they were cute together, can't lie. If i knew Miles' would be a rich shit with his fancy bigass house, i would've encouraged Alex to let Miles pound his twinky ass."
"Matt!" I yelled, blushing and covering my mouth with my hand.

"It's the truth!"

-_/\_/\/\_-

"I'm surprised that you have this kind of 'pajamas'." Arielle said, looking at me while she changed her clothes. I don't have a problem with them changing in front of me, honestly. They're girls and i like boys. It's not like i'm going to-
"It's for their kinky shit, i bet." Jen laughed and walked out of the bathroom, "But, fuck! This place is so big and cool and fancy."
"I know, right! I've been in love with this house since we first bursted into it. Alex is so lucky. I hope Matt and i get a house like this when we're older." The small boy smiled and got a blanket to cover himself.

"Alright! Time to play again, truth or dare o-or the other game where you pick between two things?" Jennifer asked, sitting in the bed.
"The other game!" I replied as i walked and sat on the carpet.
"Alrite. So, if you had to pick between Miles or a million dollars, what would you pick?"
"Miles."
"You didn't even think about it, you whimp!" She rolled her eyes again.

"So done with this playing thing. Let's do something fun. Let's gossip about boys or summat, yeah?" Arielle rolled her eyes, too.
"Alright."

-_/\_/\/\_-

Hours after that and after we played a lot of other games, gossiped about our boyfriends and even called that italian guy from the bar; everyone was drunk and asleep. Except for me.

I sat on the bed, looking at the panorama. Arielle was sleeping on the floor while Jen and Nick were on the bed with me, all of them found a way to get some sleep, but i just couldn't stop thinking.
It's always around this time of the year when i throw myself into this sea of sadness and loneliness, even though i'm not alone.

During these two years, Miles has been supportive of me when i feel depressed. He's always 'ere for me.
I keep telling myself that as long as he's here with me i'll be okay, 'cause that's the truth. Without him i would be nothing, no one.

Just the bunch of emotional shit i am.

And now i'm wandering around this big, fancy house. Walking in the dark, hoping someone would end all this sudden change of mood.

"Why me?" I whisper, as i run a hand through my hair.
My thoughts are killing me.

After you're abused, whatever the way you suffer it, this is what it leaves. A blood stain that will never leave your brain.
A bunch of memories.
And as i look through the window and try to picture the stars in the city lights, i feel he's splashing in my eyelids. Telling me i'm no one without him.
"Leave me." I whisper again.
The voices are here again. All i hear is him, his voice, his tone. All i see in my head is him.

But Miles loves me, right?
He'll keep me safe, right?
Trying to convince myself he'll be there for me when all the voices come for me.

"We're all going to die." I hear, and i turn around to face whoever is talking to me.
No one is there; just darkness.

Silence.

"He won't love you as much as i did, and you know it."
"Leave me alone." I reply.

"I will always be by your side."

Darkness.

Tears roll down my cheeks and my hands shake, my body is covered in ice cold sweat.
Anxiety.

Before every light dissapears, i hear Nick's voice calling my name and a few screams.

"A poor excuse of a boy." The voice says.