Imperfection (Vhope fan fiction 18+)

studying

Lunch time came around and I went to the same place I always ate my lunch. Yoongi wouldn't be eating with me today because he got detention for doing something stupid in phys ed. I always skip phys ed class so I didn't get to see what he had done to get himself into trouble. 

I don't know where Taehyung was because he wasn't already sitting on the stairs so I just figured he was somewhere else. I couldn't think of anywhere else he'd be though. He broke up with Areum so he wouldn't be with her, and he's not in that big group of bullies anymore so he wouldn't be with them either. Does...Taehyung have other friends I don't know about? 

W-Well of course he does, Taehyung is one of the most popular kids in our grade, how can he not have other friends? Now that I think about it...Taehyung is always around me. He's always pushing himself away from everyone else who wants to hang out with him, to hang out with me. 

Those people who probably want to hang out with him most likely think I'm hogging him all to myself. In a way, I am. I'm being greedy of Taehyung... Damn it, I'm thinking too deep into things again! 

I clutch my hair in anger as I sat down onto one of the steps and close my eyes tightly. I have to stop thinking about this. 

I then pulled out my lunch from my backpack and looked at it, squeezing it into my hands. I told myself the other day I would try to eat without making myself throw up now. I-Is this even going to be possible? I stared at my lunch like it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

At the same time Taehyung came walking up the stairs and I looked up at him surprised. I wanted to ask him where he was but I didn't want to sound so clingy. 

"Sorry I was late, I got held back by my Math teacher. He said I'm in the number one spot right now out of our whole class. He wants me to try studying overseas but I still have to think about it..." Taehyung explains in a sigh, sitting next to me. 

As Taehyung said that, my eyes opened wider and I looked down into my lap in fear. "O-Overseas...meaning we can't see each other?" I ask in a stutter. 

"Yeah but I still have to ask my parents about what they think. If they say yes, then it's inevitable. Even if I do go overseas or something like that, we can still skype call and text each other all the time. It'll be fun!" Taehyung says in a happy tone, pulling out his own lunch from his backpack and starting to eat. 

"You're really happy about this, aren't you?" I ask, holding in tears. 

"Well it'll be an interesting experience. I've never been outside of Korea before...I want to see how it's like!" 

"What about me?" 

"I told you we can skype call and I'll find a part time job there somewhere, I'll make enough money to come and visit you at least every once a month." Taehyung says, turning his head to look at me. I could see he was looking at me from the corner of his eye, but I didn't look up at him. 

"You know that's unrealistic, you do know how much a plane ticket costs, right?" I ask, letting a slow tear rush down my cheek. 

"H-Hoseok...what's wrong?" 

"Nothing" I quickly say, wiping the tear away from my cheek. 

"This overseas schooling is to better me, I can improve my English and everything! I said we can skype every day and we can text each other all the time. It's not like you'll be alone either, you have Yoongi here!" Taehyung says, looking at me seriously but I turned my head so I couldn't see his face anymore and he couldn't see mine. 

"Hoseok, look at me" he says, grabbing my shoulder and trying to turn me around to face him but I didn't budge. I shook his head off so he wasn't touching my shoulder anymore. 

"Jeez, why're you being like this. I thought you would be supportive on me going since it's to better myself. Don't you want me to be smart and successful in the future?" He asks in a tone like I was the one being cruel. 

"I thought you loved me..." I say and he staid quiet. 

"What do you mean Hoseok, of course I love you." Taehyung says to me in a confused tone. 

"That...That day we kissed on the park bench, you told me you'd stay with me forever! You told me you'd be with me twenty four seven to make sure I don't do anything to myself. What happened to all of that, what happened to everything you promised and told me?! Was that all a lie so that I would just be happy at the time?!" I ask, now i couldn't hold it in anymore, tears were pouring down my cheeks like a waterfall. 

"O-Of course they weren't a lie Hoseok." He says, I could gently feel his hand being placed on my shoulder. 

"Th-Then why do you want to leave?" I ask and he staid quiet, not answering. 

"I see...I don't feel hungry anymore, I'm going back to class." I say, throwing my lunch onto the step in front of me and walking away, leaving Taehyung sitting alone on the steps. 

I stopped crying while walking to class but I kept my head down because if anyone looked into my eyes they could clearly tell I was holding in tears. 

I got into the classroom and laid my head down onto my desk to hide my expression from anyone who could walk into the room, and from the couple of other students who were sitting in the class, either sleeping, finishing their homework or studying. 

Someone then tapped me on the shoulder and when I looked up to see who it was, I was surprised to see it was Areum. 

"Hoseok, could I talk to you?" She asks in a polite tone. 

I knew she wouldn't break out of her nice character in front of everyone so I said "no, sorry." Putting my head back down onto my desk. 

I couldn't see what facial expressions she was making or how she reacted to me saying no to her because I hid my face before I could see. 

I kept my head down until the bell rang for lunch to end. The only thing on my head the whole day was that if Taehyung  did go study overseas, what would happen to me? I would just go back to how I use to be before I knew Taehyung. I don't want to be like that again, I want to know there's at least someone who loves me. 

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Hey guys, this is another update so thank you for being so patient with me for my horrible updates.