Urban Legends And Tales

Normal Porn For Normal People

(Yep, it's as bizarre as it sounds. Gory details up ahead, you have been warned. With that in mind, proceed if you wish and enjoy.)

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Everybody knows that if you surf the web long enough, you'll see some pretty sick shit. This is especially true if you intentionally dwell into the dark underbelly of the internet. I've seen quite a few things I don't care to admit to, but one thing that I'll always remember is a site called;

"normalpornfornormalpeople.com".

The first strange thing about the site was that I didn't find it by actually looking for it. It was e-mailed to me by someone I didn't know. The e-mail was as follows:

Hi there,

found this site is very nice thought u might like

"normalpornfornormalpeople.com"

pass it on, for the good of mankind

Pretty standard issue chain letter, although the url and the last remark really piqued my curiosity. I was having a very boring day when I got this, so I made sure my anti-virus was working and then I clicked on it.

It was a very average, very generic looking site. It gave the impression that the creators just BARELY gave a shit about making it look professional. The author seemed to have a very tenuous grasp on English, and on the front page was a long, boring, and incoherent rant that I don't remember or have saved.

The site had a strange tagline (which even today people haven't figured out the meaning of), which was:

"Normal Porn for Normal People, A Website
Dedicated To The Eradication of Abnormal Sexuality"

And from the sound of that, I wasn't sure whether I was here to watch porn or if I had stumbled onto some kind of eugenics program. But I was here now, and I was very, very curious to see what "Normal People" get their rocks off to. So I scrolled down through the rant and...nothing. The page didn't seem to link to anywhere else, and I was about to leave when I noticed every word of the rant was its own hyperlink.

So I clicked one of them, and was sent to a white page with very long list of links in the form of:

"normalpornfornormalpeople.com/(random letters)"

So I stopped for a minute and asked myself if I really wanted to waste God knows how much time clicking random links that will likely give me a virus that will rape my computer. I figured I'd just try it for maybe five minutes, just to see if anything came up. I clicked one of the links, and was sent to another page. This page apparently had totally different urls than the last one.

I was just about to say "Fuck this" when I clicked on the third link, and a video download came up. It was called "peanut.avi". It was a thirty-minute video of a man, a woman and a dog in a kitchen. The woman would make a peanut butter sandwich, and the man would set it down for the dog to eat. This was all that happened, for thirty minutes. It was obvious that the cameraman had to stop filming and wait until the dog was ready to eat again, and the dog seemed rather sick by the end of it.

I know what you're thinking:
"What the hell does that have to do with porn?"

I have no clue. I've seen a little over two dozen videos from this site, and the majority had no sexual activity at all.