Unforgettable

Ch. 1 ~ Longing

      Her letter began, like most others, telling him how much she needed him. Trying to fill
that void that is open now that he isn't there to hold her hand, to hug her close, or to kiss her
eyes while she was falling asleep. Laying the pen down she gets up and leaves the letter on her
desk. It always hard writing the letters because the pain is so great that she wants to cry. So
she walks away, leaves the pen next to his picture, and takes five minutes to compose herself.

     A tear stained letter would not be good, and she had to be strong. Counting out loud she focused her attention to the leaves falling outside, yellow with brown leaves showing the summer has passed. To many this marked the beginning of a new season, but to her it meant just more time without him. Fall had those memories that made him feel so close yet so far. This was "their" season, their time in the year filled with the first of everything in their relationship. Fall was supposed to be the seasons were couples walked hand and hand in the cool weather, yet here she was fighting back tears.

      Watching the leaves fall and cover their back yard relaxed her. The yard needs to be cleaned, the lake in the back seems to be calling out to her to go take the small boat out, and the once lite gazebo screamed out for her to go back to reading books under its shade; yet she couldn't do any of that. There was an ache in her that never seemed to go away. 

Her family and friends all meant well but she had closed herself away from the world on her weekends off.

     She saw them now and then but not for long periods of time because that's when they started
to ask her how she was. It would start, "Arianna, are you sure you don't want to come over for a few days?" or "Honey, I am sure dad can go over and clean up your yard, you know while
Anthony is away". Their love was unlimited and their understanding limited since they had
not been in her shoes. So she had to stay away sometimes, because when they starBed caring
too much, she felt like screaming out loud. Couldn't they understand that she had to go a
year, a whole year without the man she loved. SHE had to worry, that now that she had found
a love she had dreamt about, she had to worry about him being away and in danger. They
had those that they loved close, her heart was half a world away, and they would never
understand that.

      When Anthony had first leſt, it was bearable because they were in constant contact. It had almost felt as if he was just away to another training course in the states. She emailed him constantly pictures of her belly growing, and pictures of their little Andrew growing more and more with each passing week. Phone calls were every day, emails came almost every
other hour but now they depended on the mail to know anything about each other. There was no more internet service in the part that he was now stationed at. She worried before when she was in constant contact with him; the worry now consumed her and ate away at her sleepless hours.

      The first two months of their pregnancy had been so wonderful. Before he leſt to work and as soon as he got home Anthony would kiss her belly and talk to their baby. When they found out that they were having a boy, they knew they had to pick a name before the deployment. They had agreed that his name would be Andrew. If people thought Anthony spoiled her, they would think he had gone insane in spoiling Andrew who had yet to be born. Baseballs, baseball hats, cars, outfits, in other words, if there was anything a little boy could need, Anthony had to buy it.

    Remembering a conversation that they had, she laughed, "Baby, why do you think Andrew needs a bike right now when he hasn't even been born?"

     "Oh Ari, it's just that it looked so nice I had to get it," he told her a half-truth. If he had
told her that he did it as a just in case, she would be so upset and he wouldn't upset her.

It had already been seven months since they found out she was pregnant. Five months
were filled with loneliness because she refused to let anyone come over and try to take her
mind off things. They had found out two months before he deployed that they were going to
have a little boy, and now she had five months of her pregnancy without him.

      At that time she hadn't realized why he had gone on such a shopping spree, but aſter all this time she now realized that he did it because of two reasons, out of love and fear.