Have I Told You (PUBLISHED)

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

I'm extremely sweating and I seriously can't breathe. Nasusuka ako. My heart's pounding. My body's shaking. Ang labo na ng paningin ko at umiikot na yung paligid. I cry so hard, covering my ears and closing my eyes tightly. Literal na may mga boses na bumubulong sa tenga ko.

Oh, God. Please, don't let me see it again!

Memories.

Flashbacks.

Nightmares.

I'm seeing it again. I hear different people calling my name, but I can't distinguish their voices except for one. I hear Eisley, but his voice can't seem to calm me down. I feel someone touching me, but it's getting worse. They can't touch me. Not now.

I need my mom.

I need to snap back to reality.

I hear Eisley calls my name, "Tyrese! Tyrese!"

I take a deep breath, trying to focus. Come on, Tyrese. You've experienced this a lot of times. You can overcome this. Forget what you saw! It's all inside your mind. Mind over matter, 'di ba?

I can't. Memories keep coming back to me.

I still see my nanny... hanging... in her bedroom. There's a rope around her neck. I stare at her face. Her face looks different. Her arms are bleeding. Her face is bleeding. She slashed her face. Is she really my nanny? "Ah!" I'm crying so damn hard. Oh, God. Please! I can't see it again. It's all in my damn mind. 

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I scream, still not opening my eyes. I slap myself hard, then I suddenly hear the instrumental version of Oh My Darling Clementine. I listen to it. Calm yourself down, Tyrese. Everything will be fine.

Still panting, I say, "Don't..." I shake my head. "Don't stop... Don't stop playing it." I'm still shaking. I slowly open my eyes and see Eisley. He's scared. Oh no, he's scared of me. He knew.

Damn, Tyrese. Ang tagal kong hinintay makapasok sa buhay niya tapos sisirain ko lang. He's scared of me.

He's sweating. He moves closer to me. I flinch, moving to my left so he can't come near me. My tears continue flowing. Leaning against the wall, I bring my knees up and hug them to my chest.

Then I cry more, but this time, it's because I scared Eisley. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You shouldn't see me like this." I take a glimpse of him. I put my head on my knees. "Will you please stop staring at me?"

I don't want to see him staring at me. Not this time.

"Shh." I feel him hugging me. This is the first time he hugs me really tight, I can already feel and hear his heavy breathing. He gently combs his hand through my hair. Oh My Darling Clementine's playing on repeat.

I look around. Kaming dalawa lang ang tao dito.

I apologize. "You didn't have to see that."

He pushes my hair out of my eyes. "And I thought you were perfect."

As we lean our backs against the wall, I cover my face with my hands. I groan. "Stop teasing me."

He pats my legs, then he puts his hands on my face, bringing it in his direction so that I can look at him. He wipes my tears. Kinuha ko yung handkerchief ko sa pocket ko at suminga.

His lips curve upward. "My dad."

My forehead furrows. "Huh?"

"Siya yung nang-iwan. I've never had a friend or girlfriend before."