Have I Told You (PUBLISHED)

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Today is my last day in Cebu.

I'm on a splint and arm sling right now. Na-operahan na ako, but I still can't use my left hand at the moment. Depende pa sa progress ng recovery kung kailan tatanggalin.

Yung bata na tinulungan ko, nasa DSWD muna ngayon dahil na-trauma yung nanay. Tulala sila parehas. Yung bata, hanggang ngayon, hindi pa nagsasalita. Nakaaawa. Masyado pa siyang bata para ma-experience 'yun.

Wala akong pagsisisi sa ginawa ko. I was able to save a life. Kahit paulit-ulit na mangyari 'yun, ililigtas ko pa rin yung bata. Malungkot dahil makaka-miss ako ng opportunity, pero naniniwala akong hindi pa ito ang last.

Pag gumaling ako, magsusubmit ulit ako ng art work, pero sa Manila na since doon na ulit ako titira. I'll take art classes. Hindi lang online tutorials on YouTube. Hindi lang research. Hindi lang pagbabasa ng libro.

Legit art classes. I swear, idadaan ko lahat ng frustrations ko sa painting.

Dapat talaga after ng operation, magpapahinga lang ako ng konti tapos aalis na. Nakiusap lang ako kila Mama na mag stay pa ako ng dalawang linggo after the operation. Gusto ko kasing makita yung bata. 

Isa pa, hindi pa ako ready iwan sila Mommy Sexy. I'm not ready to leave Eisley lalo na dahil hindi pa kami nag-uusap nang maayos.

Well, I'm partly at fault. No, I'm really at fault. I have been avoided him since 'THE KISS'. Well, slight. Nagrereply naman ako kahit papaano. Ang hirap niya kasing tiisin. 

Kung hindi naman kasi siya nanghalik, hindi magiging awkward lahat. Hindi magiging magulo. I wouldn't go insane. Hindi siya mahihiya. Hindi ako mahihiya. Walang problema!

But he really kissed me. And yes, it was a big deal. Aside from it was my first, he knew my feelings for him. Knowing Eisley, he's not someone who toys with someone's emotions. But now that I think about it, he's been playing with my emotions unintentionally since day 1. 

I can't blame him, so I'll just ignore him until everything goes back to normal.

Ugh. I shouldn't have forced him to watch those rom-com movies with me. Nakakainis. Wala na akong masisi kaya kahit yung mga movies sinisisi ko na. Sabi ko naman kasi sa kanya, h'wag akong bibiglain, pero anong ginawa niya? Hug lang hinihingi ko. I really needed his comfort that time. I wasn't asking for more?! Lalo niyang ginulo mundo ko.

And because of that, we haven't talked ever since. I haven't even looked at him. Paano pag bigla siyang nag apologize na hinalikan niya ako? Na hindi siya sinasadya? Na gusto lang niyang i-try dahil napapanood niya sa mga palabas na pinanood ko sa kanya?

Natatakot ako na pag tiningnan ko siya, pagsisisi at apologetic look lang ang ibigay niya sa'kin.

Para ngang nabaliktad. He'd actually try to talk to me, but I would hide or turn away. He'd been texing me and I would reply, but my replies were not like before.

Like one time, he sent me a couple of messages asking how I was and what was I doing.

My reply was, 'Okay lang. Watching TV.'

Him: Are you mad at me?

Me: Nope!

Him: Was it about 'that'?

Me: What 'that' are you talking about?

Him: Kiss?

Muntik nang nahulog yung puso ko. Please, let me live like a normal person!