Oxygen

Chapter six.

The weight on my conscience was so big, I barely kept my eyes closed during the night. John as been very sweet to me and I was very rude. I feel so bad.
What Beatrice said actually makes since if I think about it. I guess I was so caught up writing the book, I didn't realize I was being selfish and unfair. I Guess this is what best friends are for. Her words echoed for hours inside my head, and she was right. I've decided to go out with John. Tonight. But first, I'll have to apologize to him, I was so stupid and rude.

My head was leaned against the wall while the hot water hit my back inside the shower. I think it's weird to use hot water in the middle of the summer, but it feels so good, I don't even care. I exit the shower and wrap a towel around my body. I cleaned the mirror and saw myself in it.
My mother used to tell me I was beautiful every day, and it felt special every single time. She knew how to make me feel special.
She was always telling me I would find a prince that would make me his princess, that I would found someone who would support and appreciate my writing, someone I could write about. Somene to be there with me when I'm having a bad day, someone to inspire me when I don't know what to write about.
I never found that someone, and honesty, I never gave that chance to no one, maybe is time to exit the same old routine.

I dried my hair and quickly made a messy ponytail. I dropped the towel on the bathroom floor and walked to my closet. I always leave the towels on the floor, and always leave my bathroom a mess. Good thing I live alone.

After I put on some clothes, I exited the house, but this time left my Macbook home. Slowly walked to the café while I carefully planned what I'm going to do today.

Inside the café, I ordered my usual breakfast, pancakes and natural orange juice. Picked up a magazine and entertained myself while waiting for breakfast.

A little while after my breakfast arrived and I started eating, John entered the café, and sat on the other side, where he was seating the last time I saw him here, reading my book.
My heart beat rate increased, and my hands started to get a little bit shaky. I'll talk to him on the beach, it's better, I thought.

I walked to the balcony and paid my bill. Walking to the exit door, my eyes turned to him, noticing we was not looking at me. Maybe he didn't even notice I was there.
As soon as I stepped outside the café and breathed the saint beach Oxygen... Why wait any longer? Why wait if I can solve this right now.

There was something. There was something about the air on the beach. Everytime I breathe this air, everything becomes more clear. My thoughts turn into something much more simple.
Maybe it's the salty oxygen, maybe it changes here. Because, if it's not the Oxygen, I don't know what it is.

I opened the cafe's door and went back in. As soon as I entered I looked straight to John, and he looked straight at me right after my first step. Everybody in the café gave me a look, probably wondering why did I exited and entered back in the café in the same minute. I ignored all the staring eyes and sat in front of John. He looked at me nervously, what made me even more nervous. Oh god! If he's nervous, how should I be?
I started by saying "John, I'm really sorry about yesterday, I didn't meant to say that, please forgive me." He smiled and then placed his right hand above my laced fingers who were on top of the table. "Kate, it's alright. I must say I was a little bit sad after you said that, but then I started thinking... And you're completely right. I've shouldn't pressured you to go on a date with me, I mean, I'm on vacation, but you're not. I'm the one who needs to apologize!" John said, smiling at me with the biggest calm in the world, like he was the one who was rude. Wait, somethings wrong here. "What does that mean John?" I asked frowning.
"I'm going to let you go off the hook. I quit Kate. I want you to finish your book, and I don't want to get in your way!" John said smiling, very happy. No John, no! You can't quit now that I decided to accept!
"But John! I want to go out with you!" I said taking my hand under his and hold his arm.

-Wait, you want to go out with me?

-Yes John! I realized going on a date with you is not going to delay my book, and I want to go on a date with you John.

-Well... -John put on a serious face - I'm sorry but this is not going to work like that.

-What do you mean? John, I'm accepting what you've been asking me the whole week.

-Well, but know, if you want, you'll have to wait, until I ask you again.

"What?" I asked frowning. "You heard me." He said leaning against his chair and crossing his leg. I got up and "Arghh" him. I furiously exited the café and walked fast to the beach. What is wrong with him? Now that I'm accepting he doesn't want to? God. I really don't get men. Here's your charming prince mother.

Today I forgot to put my straw hat on, and the sun was burning my hair off. I walked to the shade made by the cliff and seated there. How embarrassing that was? Rejected him the whole week and when I decided to accept, he rejects me? I looked at the water, blue as the sky and practically with no waves. I took my clothes off and jumped to the water. The cold water calmed my nerves. My head feels so heavy. I'm such a mess. I guess my plans are not going to be exactly what I expected.