I Was Never Yours

6-Confrontation

The cottage was ideal for two people who wanted to hide from the rest of the world and I fell in love with it immediately. Olivia had gone on and on about the Price's vacation home but nothing she'd said had done it justice. It looked like something right out of a Disney fairytale with its wooden floors and walls. The structure itself was made of terracotta and the sloping roof was painted a homely red colour. The garden was full of orange blossoms and lavender, and keeping with the lavish Price tradition, a Koi pond. There was a hammock in the garden too and that was where I spent most of my time, soaking up the sun. Zach, on the other hand, spent hours and hours at their private beach, swimming and surfing. He was one for water sports, that much I had figured out.

I was glad to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city, especially after what had happened at the airport. I needed some time to think and plan my next move. I'd realized that Noah deserved to know the truth and not Lexie's distorted version of it. I would tell him myself, even if that meant him hating me for the rest of my life. Zach realized that I had some decisions to make and left me to my own self; I only saw him during meals when he would cook for the both of us. Turns out Zach was a better cook than all the chefs my mother had hired and his food soon became a drug to me. He'd cook the most delicious meals, pot roast being his specialty and I'd lick the plate clean. It was during these moments that he'd crack a smile and his eyes would light up. It was the first time I'd seen him smile since we'd gotten married.

It was about the tenth day of our 'vacation' that I decided to go to the beach. I hadn't been there yet mostly because I considered it to be Zach's place; somewhere he could go to clear his head, just like me and the hammock. That day however he said that he needed to go out of town for some business meeting and I had the entire place to myself. I quickly slipped into my bikini, thanking my lucky stars that the weather was still warm enough to swim. I put on a light cotton dress over it and grabbed my sunglasses.  I ran to the beach, excited by the prospect of being alone in the endless water and letting go of all the rigidity that had crept through me since the wedding. I was eighteen years old but I'd started to act much older; I'd become an echo of my old fun-loving self in less than a month and I wasn't okay with that. Yes, I'd suffered a huge setback; yes, my life had changed forever and not in a way that I would have wanted but all of that had to leave my mind today. Today I was going to be the old Ari Bell and nothing could come in my way.

I literally skipped to the beach, not knowing the reason behind my rather surprisingly good mood and quickly took off my dress. I stepped closer to the water, tiptoeing to check the temperature and I was relieved to find out that it was warm enough. I walked in slowly till the water came up to mid-thigh and enjoyed the feel of the cool water on my body. I loved to swim and almost started to feel like the old me as I fooled around. After a while, I lowered my body and dipped my head under the water, holding my breath.

Under the water, I found calm, quiet and serenity. The only problem was, whenever I closed my eyes only one image flashed behind my eyelids: Noah's smile, Noah's eyes, Noah's touch and each and every single memory I had with him. If it was possible to cry underwater then I'm sure a few tears had managed to escape. I propelled myself above the water and came out gasping for breath; thinking about my ex-boyfriend might not have been such a good idea, especially underwater. Gone was my good mood as a foreboding feeling came over me. What was I doing? How could I even begin to have a good time when my life was going towards a downward spiral? I was in a loveless marriage, forced upon a good, decent man. The boy who loved me more than life itself was going to get his heart broken soon and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of a way to get out of the twisted puzzle my life had become.

I swam slowly to the shore, concentrating on the line of each stroke to divert my attention from the not-so-pleasant thoughts that were running through my head. The sand stuck to my wet feet, the grains feeling rough as they grazed my skin. I picked up my towel and dried myself. What would the old Ari do in such a situation? I asked myself and there was only one answer. In the past when things got really bad, I'd always turn to one person and I couldn't do that anymore. Olivia wasn't here; she'd bailed on all of us, even her fiancé. I'd never have guessed that she wasn't in love with him; if she didn't want to marry him then she would've at least told me. Something had felt off about her actions but I was never given a chance to wonder, I was simply thrust headfirst into a life I never asked for.