People You May Know

Futures Not Yet Lived and Pasts Forgotten

Chapter 16: Futures Not Yet Lived and Pasts Forgotten

Lucas

When I was eight-years-old, I decided that I knew exactly how I wanted my life to turn out. I had a picture-perfect idea of who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to go. But it never felt like the kind of life that I was going to have; not one that was in the cards for someone like me. The idea just never fit with the kind of people my parents were, or the lifestyle that I had grown up with my entire childhood. Yet it was always in the back of my mind - the hope for something different, the chance to be truly happy. I thought about this as I leaned against my bed frame, flipping through my copy of the Great Gatsby. I lost count of how many times I had read it, but something always drew me back to page 66 and that quote that Riley claimed reminded her of my life.

"You see I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad thing that happened to me."

Was that the reason I had felt drawn to Riley? Was that the reason I needed to be around her, instead of surrounded by the people and lifestyle I had grown up with? Riley was different. She was everything I wished I could be. And before she was my tutor, she was a stranger. She helped me forget about Holden, and my parents, and that night with Jessica Evans. I could drift in and out of her life, but still go back to who I was before I met her. And for some reason, I needed that at the time. But Riley had become so much more to me than that. Riley was no longer a stranger. She was everything to me.

"Honey?" My mom peeked her head into my room, her hair damp and face clean of any makeup. She had finally left the hospital to come home and shower, and was doing anything she possibly could to stay busy.

"Hey, mom," I greeted her, sitting up in my bed and scooting over to make room for her. "How's Holden?"

"He's much better," she assured me. My mom looked up at me, her eyes an odd mixture of concern and sadness. "You know, he really wants to see you. He misses his big brother."

"Mom, I told you, I'll go when I'm ready," I sighed, already tired of having to explain myself to her.

"I know, I know," she patted my leg and smiled slyly at me. "You know, Holden told me that your friend came to see him the other day."

"Zay? Yeah, he's been worried about him," I explained, not meeting her eyes.

"No, the girl that came with you to the hospital the night of the accident. Riley, I think her name was?"

My head shot up, my heart pounding hard in my chest at the sound of her name.

"Riley came to see Holden? Why would she do that, she doesn't even know him," I sputtered out quickly, trying my best to sound as nonchalant as I possibly could.

"That sounds like something you'd have to ask her, Lucas," she told me. "But I do know that she must really care about you for her to visit your injured brother in the hospital."

She looked like she wanted to say more. Like she wanted me to divulge everything about Riley and Merritt and my life at school and lacrosse. But I didn't want to talk because I knew that whatever I said, it wouldn't change the fact that I could never have that picture perfect idea of a life that I wanted so desperately. At least, not until I cleared everything up with Jensen and figured out what he was hiding from me about the night of the lacrosse championships.

"I have a lot of homework," I held up my book to prove my point to her and she sighed, as she had already anticipated that I wasn't going to give her anymore insight on the subject.