Suicide And Depression (SAD)

S.A.D.

Has there ever been a moment in your life when it seems as if everything is against you? Have you ever been so overwhelmed with emotion that you can't breathe and you find yourself suffocating? Have you ever had that moment when you find yourself not caring whether you live or die? Well, I have. There aren't enough words in any language to be able to describe that feeling. There are no words that can wash away that feeling of utter loneliness. There's no way to ever be truly free of those feelings. Of course you can bury them away. You can hide them behind a smile while you pretend that everything is going to be okay. But you know, deep down, you can tell that you're in too deep. You can feel it consuming you. You know that with each passing day the cracks in the wall you put up grow deeper. Your will to stay strong and fight fade as you find yourself growing tired and giving up. You take the only way out that you know; whether it's a bullet to the head or a knife to your wrist or an overdose. Anything to make the pain go away. Anything to stop that internal beating. Anything that will give you peace. Well, I found it. No, I'm not saying I killed myself. I'm not saying that my life just became butterflies and rainbows all of a sudden. I'm saying that I found a better way to get through the pain. I found a way out. There's no point in trying to find me because I'll be long gone by the time you read this. Although, if my plan works, I will see you all again. I won't say that I'm sorry because I'm not. Everyone played a hand in my departure. I honestly have nothing left to say except I hope you all are happy with the way things turned out.