The Girl In His Heart • MGK

5- Waking Up

***BACK TO KELLS POV***

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"Someone please shut that annoying ass thing the fuck off." I mumbled, my eyes still closed.

I suddenly remembered what had happened and I snapped my eyes open and saw I was in a hospital room.

I looked down at my hands and patted my chest. I'm still fucking alive. I put my head back and groaned loudly.

I shut my eyes, and I suddenly heard footsteps. I slowly opened my eyes, thinking I would see Ashleigh, Slim, Dubo, Rook, or my aunt, but who I saw completely took me by surprise.

I felt my heart sink and my throat went dry. "Kris?" I whispered.

Without saying anything, she sat in the chair next to the bed. She rubbed her hands on her face. I could tell she was pissed. "Why the fuck would you do this?!" She hissed angrily.

Well that's not what I expected her to say to me after four years. Actually it kinda is.

I sat up and turned toward her, sitting Indian style. "Kris, I-"

"I don't want to fucking hear what you have to say, Richard." She spat, interrupting me. "Do you have any idea what we've all been going through because of you?! Your aunt almost had a fucking heart attack because of you! I cried the whole way here, and all night until you woke up. I saw Dubo cry for the first time ever. Me and Ashleigh about got into a fucking fist fight because we were so pissed at your ass!"

Those words stung. Really bad. I felt a lump forming in my throat, but I swallowed it away.

"You left me. Twice." I said quietly. But she could hear me. "Is it just your thing to leave? Am I not aloud to leave people too?"

She looked at me with a blank expression. "That's not what I meant." She muttered.

"Then what the fuck did you mean, Kristiana?" I demanded. "You know, I've been miserable for the past four years because I fucked up. I've had to live with the thoughts and memories of you and how I lost you and how bad I fucked up. The voices won't fucking leave me alone. I just wanted to get away. You, of all people should understand. I've been punishing myself enough, I don't need the love of my life telling me how worthless and insensitive I am too."

She just looked at me. "Kells, I love you. I'm so sorry I didn't at least talk to you about what happened. You were drunk, you didn't know any better."

I felt a smile creeping up on my face. I really hope she's about to say what I think she is.

"But," and there it goes. "I can't forget what you did. I'll forgive you, but I still don't want to see you, let alone be with you. I'm in a relationship."

I nodded understandingly. "Does he make you happy?" I asked after a moment of silence.

She thought for a minute. She shrugged. "I don't know. We fight. A lot more than we should. And he's always gone."

"Why are you with him?" I said a little harsher than I intended. "I mean, if he doesn't make you happy, you shouldn't be with him. You deserve to be really happy, why do you put yourself through that?"

She put her head down. "He makes me think of you less."

"What?" I asked blankly. "Are you-"

"Yes, I'm absolutely serious." She cut me off, running a hand through that long, beautiful hair of hers. "He's nothing like you. He has long black hair, and he's really short for a guy, and he's such an asshole who doesn't know how to commit."

She was with someone who is nothing like me for the same reason I was.

"So leave him."

"And go where? He's all I have left anymore." She scoffed.

"Stay with me." I offered.

She looked at me with a confused expression. "Kells, I can't. I couldn't possibly be around you everyday, thinking of everything that's happened to us, everything that we could've been. I'll probably be better off where I am, no offense."

"None taken." I forced a chuckled. There was a small moment of silence before I broke it off. "You look like you gained a little weight. Not in a bad way though. You're still beautiful."

"Oh." She frowned, looking down at her stomach.

I looked up toward the doorway and saw everyone else walking in. My aunt was the first to run to me and squeeze me in a hug. Ashleigh literally slapped me, causing all of us to laugh.

Rook snuck a bunch of blunts into the hospital and gave one to all of us, except for my aunt, who's allergic to THC.

We all sat around for a while and talked and laughed. I felt content with myself now, knowing that Kris had forgiven me. I still want her to be mine more than anything in the world though. I would give up everything for her, from the fame and money, to the clothes on my back. But, now I know that she doesn't resent me anymore.

I will get her back someday, even if it kills me.
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June 27, 2016

Song of the chapter-
Stay by Sugarland