I Keep My Eyes Wide Open All The Time

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Talking to Ashton is irrefutably one of the most nerve-wracking things Calum has ever done, and there really isn't any specific reason to it. He's just intimidating, and Calum is sort of all over the place and he's pretty sure Ashton doesn't think much of him, other than that he's sort of disorganized.

Ashton's pedestaled in the clan as the leader, the one who always knows what to do, and Calum is normally seen as the new one, or the-one-that-was-human-and-suddenly-isn't-anymore. Which Calum doesn't really mind, because it's true. It's what he is.

Calum has made a routine of sitting on that same rock he sat on on the first day, and he sits there normally in the early light of the morning, when the sun is the strongest. He likes the sunlight shawled on his shoulders and the scrim of sea salt coating his skin. He likes the way he can watch fish devoutly swim together in schools and the way far off in the distance, indigo blue fades deeper and deeper into the oblivion of the open ocean.

And normally, every morning, Ashton stops by to join him.

Calum's been sitting there for almost an hour when he sees Ashton's broad figure swim towards him. His hair is a mess, eyes still groggy and slightly blurry-looking from just waking up. He sits beside Calum silently and looks out into the ocean with the same admirable eyes as Calum.

In all honesty, Ashton never particularly thought the ocean was beautiful until he noticed the way Calum saw it, with fresh, new eyes. He saw the way Calum admired it as though it were the most captivating and devoutly interesting view he'd ever seen, and then he allowed himself to see it that way as well. He saw what Calum saw-- the porcelain shells littering the ocean floor and the sun reflecting off the surface of the cresting waves. It's made him feel younger, like he doesn't have to be cold or stern whenever he's busy admiring.

Calum glances over at Ashton after a couple minutes, watching Ashton watch the ocean. Then he says, softly, "Ashton?"

And Ashton turned and said, "Yeah?" and Calum figured he can't really go back now, so he goes ahead and asks the question that's been nagging his mind from the first time he met Joy that day several months ago.

"Did you ever know my father?"

The question clearly shocked Ashton, because he froze and simply stared at Calum unblinkingly. Then Ashton stares off into the distance with unfocused eyes and ponders this.

Finally, he says, "I never met him. But Joy talked about him all the time. In fact, everyone did. It was kind of unheard of, your father and your mother."

"Unheard of?" Calum asks uncomprehendingly. "Why?"

Ashton blinked at him. "Because your father was human. Joy married a human man. You have to understand how unheard of that is. Our sole goal is to keep humans from even knowing about our existence, let alone marrying one."

Calum lowered his eyes. "Oh."

"Joy never cared about that, though. They were in love. And then you were born, and suddenly, he went away. They had a meeting spot, and he just stopped showing up. You were barely a few days old before he disappeared," says Ashton. He gave Calum a look that subtly contained a warning. "She never talks about it. Nobody ever asks about it because they know how heartbroken she is over it. It's a story of the past."

Ashton looks back up, clearing his throat. "However, it sort of explains why you are the way you are. I've been thinking about it. The theory is, that you were meant to be a merman from the start, as a child. The aquatic genes are always more dominant. But you weren't in the ocean long enough to form your tail, and then you just grew up on land. My theory is that your aquatic genes went dormant, and then returned recently when your body couldn't survive as a human that many years."

Calum smiles a little. "You've thought a lot about this."

Even Ashton cracks a smile. "Like I said, it's unheard of."

Calum tilts his head at Ashton. "How about I show you?"

"Show me what?"

"I can still turn human when I get out of the water. How about I show you?" Calum suggests. Ashton's eyes grow wide, and he backs up a bit, unsure. Calum knows Ashton isn't exactly gung ho about the idea, but he also knows Ashton's fear of humans is going to eat him alive if he doesn't face it soon enough.

Ashton shakes his head a little. "I don't know..."

Calum hesitantly reaches for Ashton's hand, waiting for Ashton to move away, but he doesn't. So Calum takes Ashton's hand and starts pulling him off the rock, leading him off towards a tumulus stone that sits above the surface of the water, sheltered by rocks that block it from the view of any humans that might walk by.

Ashton watches Calum with uncertainty as he slowly lets go of his hand. The younger boy makes sure Ashton isn't making any move to swim away before nodding to himself. He turns away from Ashton, grabbing the rock and hoisting himself up. He grabs onto the rough surface, pulling himself up until he's all the way up. He breathes in the oxygen and lets out a sigh, feeling relieved as the scales fall away, leaving his worn out jeans and very-human legs behind. He pulls them up to his chest and looks back into the water, where he sees a disfigured and blurry Ashton underneath.

Ashton slowly surfaces, shaking water from his eyes as he looks at Calum's face. Calum gives him a reassuring smile. Slowly, Ashton lowers his eyes until he takes in Calum's human-ness and then, he quickly dives back in underwater.

Calum sighs. "Ashton!"

A few moments later, Ashton resurfaces.

"Sorry," Ashton mumbles, blinking guiltily back up at Calum. "It's just... hard. For me. To see you as-- this."

"As a human?" Calum says, a hint of a smile on his face. The hazel-eyed boy doesn't answer. Instead, he pulls himself up onto the rock beside Calum, sitting beside him silently. Calum stretches out his legs beside Ashton's tail, dipping his toes into the water, and the two of them talk quietly, Ashton's voice tremoring a bit, but he doesn't move away.

By the time the morning sky grew into early afternoon, Ashton wasn't scared.

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A/N: it hadn't rained here in like 5 months and then suddenly it fucking storms and trees fell and electricity went out and it was terrifying

how you guys doing??? hangin in there?

holidays are near, friends. we can make it.

if you celebrate a holiday this december, what are you asking for?

also, have any of you watched fantastic beasts? I love eddie redmayne so SO much. it was so good and he did so well and I can't wait for all the others to come out as well.

alright. hope you liked the chapter. please vote and comment if you'd like.

I love you to the moon. BYE

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