Reach

Chapter Thirty Seven- To Wish Impossible Things

Roy could barely wheel down the road. He couldn't even close the front door, he was so disoriented. He gingerly felt the bridge of his nose and popped the cartilage back into place. Roy winced. He felt he kind of deserved it.

This was karma's way of letting Roy know he was a selfish idiot for giving into Dahlia's sexual advances. They both knew it was wrong, well, Dahlia, probably not so much. But Roy's guilt had nothing to do with William.

"What the hell happened to you?" Whit asked as Roy sulked inside past him.

"I, uh, rolled into a tree."

"Just now?"

"Yes." Roy rubbed his eyes.

"Camping fun?"

"Yes." Roy sniffed.

"Glad to see you getting out."

"Oh, really, you care now?" Roy raised an eyebrow, albeit a weak one. He grabbed clean clothes from his suitcase. He never did completely unpack.

Whit didn't answer. Roy gazed at himself in the bathroom mirror.

I'm a fucking mess...

"You're acting like I don't like you anymore," Whit called from the other room.

"You're acting like you hate me," Roy yelled back as he dabbed around his nose with a wet cloth.

"You're ridiculous, Roy."

"I know," he agreed.

Roy locked the bathroom door and sighed. He took off his shirt half saturated with blood. Soon he sank into the hot water-filled bathtub and and massaged his temples.

His nose felt like it had a pulse. It radiated through the back of his skull and tensed up his neck.

You're very tense.

Yeah, he was tense, alright.

Roy put his head under the water. The pressure made his nose hurt even more and he sat up immediately.

He wondered if morphine would help and chuckled at his wandering thoughts.

His thoughts seemed to wander more often than enough. He imagined himself in scenarios that would never happen and conversations with individuals that would never be spoken.

Roy's consciousness was a bumble bee attempting to escape through a sealed tight window. It was all over, over, over, and over.

Thinking made his face hurt.

All Roy really wanted now was a strong drink and a very long sleep. The overdose hadn't given him the sleep he was looking for. Nothing had. No amount of drugs, alcohol or sex could distract him enough from his inevitable emptiness.

Roy groaned.

His heart, back, and nose ached.

His chestnut brown hair looked duller when he gazed at his swollen reflection in the mirror again. His face and skin around his nose was puffy and pink. His nose was practically purple. He was sure he set it back into place earlier, he dreaded ever having to go back to that hospital.

Roy wondered if they ever went looking for him, if there was a warrant or something for him to be locked up in an asylum. Even so he couldn't run away, and the prospects of being locked up terrified him. Another part of his consciousness he pleaded wouldn't wander.

But it always did anyway.

Whit was still sitting on the couch. "It was very careless of you."

"What?"

"It was very careless of you...rolling into a tree while camping."

"It, uh, I said I just did it..."

"Oh, so it was after Dade and you were back."

"Yeah..."

"You just rolled into a tree on the side of the road."

"Yes."

"Where did you two go camping again?"

"Um...woods."

"You're an idiot."

"Slammed my face into bark real good."

"That's why someone should always be with you."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

"Jumping off a bridge is the stupidest thing you've ever done in your entire life."

Roy's heart sank.

"I talked to Pop, Roy."

Goddammit.

"And honestly, you are truly the most careless person I've ever known in my entire life."

"That's funny you've never even left Oklahoma once," Roy said bitterly.

"I have no need to run away from home."

"I didn't run away."

"You kind of did, and now you can't."

Whit cracked his knuckles. Roy swallowed heavily. He couldn't believe his father went out of the way to tell Whit what happened. He assumed his father knew it was in confidence. Sort of. That was a mistake. It wasn't always best of Roy to assume things.

Roy smiled. "You got me there."

"You ever wonder what happened to that kitten in the snow storm?"

Roy shrugged. "It probably ran away."