Feels Like We Only Go Backwards || j.h. [ON HOLD]

it

It was on a warm spring day of March in Gwangju Museum of Art. A fifth grade school trip to a museum to learn about either Korean history and art  took place there. Hoseok, out of almost all children, didn't mind; he naturally enjoys art museums. 

There, the elementary school children saw lots of classic korean landscape-paintings of hills forest, the history of Gwangju city, and how Korean lives back then. It was a new experience and interesting for hoseok. But sadly, his classmates whined and told the teacher how it's boring. And thus, the teacher told everyone to move to the next section, the child exhibition which made everybody cheers with joy.

Hoseok stayed for a while to enjoyed the beauty of art, even when he is still in a bit young age, he adores arts with passion. Quietly judging if he liked the painting of a green sunset, a girl about his age, appeared next to him.

"You're still here?" She whispered in Hoseok's ear. 

startled, Hoseok jumps a little and noticed the girl standing beside him.

"Ah, Yes." Hoseok replied, a bit nervous from finding the girl attractive.

Then it was Hoseok's turned to ask the girl the same question, "why are you still here?"

"Me?" the girl pointed at herself, "Oh, I'm here just to enjoy the art. I love art as much as I love my barbie dolls."

"oh.. okay."

"you see, my mother paints skies and sceneries on a big white canvas, but now she stopped doing that."

"Why?" 

"She no longer paints on a white canvas at her work room, she now paints up there, with her angel friends, and together they paint the skies beautiful colours."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know about your mother." Hoseok looked down, feeling bad.

"Don't be." she warmly smiled at Hoseok.

"This artwork here is interesting," She attempted to change the subject while pointing at a painting, a woman's expression, a sad one. Hoseok couldn't tell what the artist was trying to tell, after all, Hoseok was just a fifth grader.

"Why is it so interesting?" Hoseok asked the girl.

"I'm not sure, but somehow her expression itself is yelling at me, yelling love me, love me, really loud." She explained, her eyes sparkling, as hoseok stared at her in awe and confusion. The way she describe the painting made him more attracted to both the painting, and her.

"Hey you two! come on, quickly, to the kids exhibition!" a teacher from behind half-yelled.

"Let's go!" the girl said and took Hoseok's arm, but he hesitated, unsure if he have to held back. But hoseok held her hand back anyway, with fingers warm and firm. 

;

Even though they already reached the kids exhibition, the girl hoseok just met, forgot to drop her hand and he would hold on as long as she let him, until she needs to made a gesture about how excited she is to visit the cafe inside the museum.

At that moment, Hoseok knew just how the painting felt. With his hand in hers, Hoseok looked at all the arts with rushes of love, peering in the wide glass door that revealed a cafe painted in light brown with a big tree, standing tall inside the cafe.

"Okay kids, let's stop here and eat some traditional rice cakes, okay?"

"yes, teacher"

The kids followed the teacher and picked their foods and drinks, meanwhile Hoseok, he immediately ran towards the big tree with brownish leaves, and sat under it.

"why are you sitting here?" again, asked the girl.

"If you look closer," Hoseok pulled the girl closer, "there are writings on the leaves."

The girl squinted her eyes and looked harder.

"ah, yes, there are lots of people who came here to wrote their names and their lovers name on the leaves."

"and why is that?"

"I don't know." the girl shrugged her shoulder and went to picked her rice cakes and drink.

"Hey!" Hoseok yelled, "What's your name?"

The girl looked back and smiled, "Park Youngjoo." 

It happened beneath the big tree inside the cafe that he, hoseok, realised that he adores Youngjoo. Hoseok wrote Youngjoo's name and his on one of the leaves, before joining the rest of the class eating their snacks.

;

It was afternoon, time to go home.

But hoseok didn't want to go home. He wanted to see her tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the days after.

"when will I see you again?" Hoseok asked Youngjoo at the parking lot, waiting for his mother to picked him up.

"We can see each other on monday, at the playgrounds."

"What should I do if I see you? Should I bring you foods? or maybe dolls, toys, books?" Hoseok bombarded her with questions but she just smiled, and held Hoseok's hand.

"If you see me, please help me," she looked straight into Hoseok's eyes, "I'll be the one with the sad, sad face."

;

well shit, that was a shitty end to the first chapter. and wtf a fifth grader like youngjoo speaks such words i'm-

 this book is low key based on a true story lmao, guess the Tame Impala song brought the feelings back.

and special thanks to whenigetback for helping me to edit this chapter love you <3