When Everything Changes

Divorce Pending (1)

"I never stood a chance did I?"

"That's the sad part--you did once." Her feet took her where they wanted to go in their small New York apartment. The unfolded laundry and dirty dishes gave her an excuse to keep her body--and mind--busy.

"How can you stand there and act like you didn't sleep with him?!" His voice became louder and more aggressive. She flinched his harsh words as he spit reality and guilt back at her.

She knew he did the same thing too, at some point--he had to have, but she never caught him; he was too careful. Unlike him, she didn't leave leave the house planning it, she just simply went over to the neighbors in need of milk. He planned following her and catching her in the act, she was sure if it. That's why he followed her everywhere. She would be the one blamed for their pending divorce and he will get off scotch free. She could feel herself get more fired up by the second, wanting to yell all the thoughts she kept bottled up inside her at once. But she kept her temper down, reminding herself that she would never stoop to his level.

Instead, her emotions turned to tears as it had the past two years. She held back a sob, "You're right, Drake! It was wrong!" Her numb legs found its way to the couch as tears kissed her cheeks. "But, guess what? I don't regret a damn thing." She put a fist up to her mouth in a pitiful attempt to calm herself down.

He didn't even hold back his time as his palm came slashing down on her already red cheeks. She fell off the couch, regretting her words the minute they tumbled out of her mouth. "Apologize!" He screamed as his beet red face towered over her in rage.

The reminder of keeping her temper down flew out the door. "No." She said simply as she got up off the floor and gave him a hard slap--one that had been itching at her. She then grabbed her jacket that was laid across the dining room table and opened the front door.

A deafening cry of a newborn baby caused her to stop in her foot steps, reminding her that it was feeding time. Her heart dropped, knowing that she wasn't strong enough to endure more of his slaps and screams-- knowing that's she wasn't strong enough for her child. She was incapable of truly loving anyone anymore.

She left that small, smelly, New York apartment that day.