Here I Am

Old Friend

There was no one behind me, which only served to creep me out more. I looked around me like some frantic cockatoo, my eyes roving around. The only conclusion was that I had only heard the voice in my head. But I had distinctively heard Ryan’s voice. I shook my head and ran to the bathroom, the only ‘haven’ in the whole school where a girl could clear her head along with about thirty other depressed and or lonely bitches that happen to wander there all on their own. It was like a ritual.

Fortunately for me, no one was in there that could see the crazed look that must have been on my face the entire time. Needless to say, as weird as it was, I was relieved. I looked in the mirror and sighed. No wonder everyone had been looking at me like I had nose hairs as long as a mammoth’s fur; my eyes were blood shot and my hair looked like it had had a fight with a leaf blower on the way to school. All in all, not a very pretty – heck! It couldn’t even pass for horrifying- sight. Argh! This is so shit! I groaned and tried to do my best to fix the pile of crap that was my hair. I leaned down to wash my face and wipe the weirded-out look on it. I was falling apart, surely. Also, I was betting I wasn’t about to win best friend of the year; one minute I was thinking about Ryan and the other, spent worrying about how I looked. Fuck that! Ryan was more important, I thought as I splashed more of the frigid water on my face, rubbing my eyes hard.

“You need to quit doing that, you’ll only hurt your eyes,” I heard a voice say behind me.

“Don’t worry about it, I do it all the ti-” I paused, mid splash, my heart in a mid-beat. What the fuck was that sound? A guy? What the fuck was a guy doing in here anyway? I rubbed my eyes a final time, cleaning the water off my face with my shirt.

“Better get outta here before some other girl walks in and throws a bitch fit,” I warned, looking in the mirror. I turned around and looked around the bathroom. There was no one there. Weird, I thought. He must have left; what other reason could there be behind his sudden disappearance, whoever he was. How did he get out so quietly anyway? I shrugged. Whatever, I wasn’t about to waste my time thinking about some perv in the girls’ bathroom. As soon as I stepped out of the door, I bumped into Ian. Ian! My heart did a little flip as he grabbed my arms to steady me.

“Hey, Allison,” He said, smiling that sexy smiled that I adore so much. I could only gape at him like a dying fish. I could have kicked myself. Ian was talking to me and I couldn’t say a damned thing. Ugh, I hate myself sometimes.

“I heard about Ryan, bummer,” he said, his beautiful smile fading, my face fell instantly. Ryan. Tears welled up in my eyes and Ian began to freak, I could tell. I had to save the situation. I smiled up at him and nervously stepped back.

“Thanks,” I said, turning around and running away. Great! The guy I have liked since I came to this school finally spoke to me, he mentions the reason for my fucked up mood and the water works begin and I do the embarrassing-escape tango. Fuck my life! I didn’t stop running though, thank goodness. I just kept going till I found myself in my house. Nana wasn’t home and so she left the key under the mat, which I’ve always thought was the stupidest thing ever, but I chose to let it go, because she was old anyway. I ran up to the disaster zone that I used to call my bedroom. I climbed onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I hated my life, honestly.

“That was pathetic,” I heard the male voice say again, from across the room. I froze immediately. It was the same voice from the bathroom. How the hell did this pervert get into my room? Oh my God! The stalker from the night before! He could be the one who killed Ryan. I turned around immediately and there was no one there. The fuck?

“Who the hell are you and what the hell do you want with me?” I asked, my voice trembling. Great, show the murderer that you’re scared shitless of him; make it worth his while. I rolled my eyes inwardly.

“I’m the voice in your head, Ally,” I heard the voice say and I furrowed my eyes stupidly. The voice in my head? So this whole time I’ve been hearing my thoughts? In a way I was relieved and worried at the same time. One, I was not going to die by murder, but I was definitely going crazy.

“What do you want?” I asked, feeling stupider than I had a couple of minutes before.

“Do you believe?” It asked.

            “Yes?” I offered, scratching my head.

            “Then tilt you head back and say oogidy boogidy I believe in you, Shooby shooby poo poo poo,” It instructed in a deeper, more demanding voice.

            “Why the fuck would I do that?” I asked feeling like the damned voice was messing with me.           

            “Just do it,” it said. I repeated what it had said before and before I could finish I heard a snort, then a chuckle, then the voice burst into laughter so loud I began to blush.

            “Oh my God! You’re such a sap! ” It said and burst into more peals of laughter. I couldn’t say a word.

            “Turn around,” It said, and I did. I gasped when I saw a guy, at least 20 years old looking back at me. My eyes opened wide and I remained still, too freaked out to move; He wasn’t laughing anymore, but looking quietly at me with mocking eyes, daring me to say something first.