Always [A USUK fanfiction]

It's a Gamble

Alfred awoke to find himself face planted onto the hard wooden floor. He lay there for a moment trying to recall what had caused him to pass out in such a bizarre position. Sure he had some crazy nights in the past, but he knew for a fact last night was not that kind of night. The sound of the air conditioning unit turning on rumbled above him as he continued to lay in silence.

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Alfred slowly lifted himself from the cold ground. The sun shined through the frost covered window, warming his skin underneath its clear rays. After finding his balance, he made his way to the bathroom. Upon turning on the light, he remembered why he woke up on the floor.

He let out a heavy sigh as he turned the bathroom light off and shut the door. His eyes were filled with sadness at the memories of last night. Tears began to pool in his eyes but he blinked them back. Crying wouldn't change his fate. Nothing could. As he stated last night, dream or not, he would make the same decision a million times again if it meant he would save the life of another. Especially if it were the life of someone so dear to him.

He made his way back over to his room, looking around for the frame he had clung onto for so long in those intense moments. His eyes scanned the area until he found it lying face down on his bed

Alfred walked over to it, turning it over as he lifted the tiny frame off the crinkled sheets. He flipped the object around, revealing a photograph of Arthur and himself from their freshmen year of college. A smile appeared on his face as his eyes looked upon his favorite picture. Every other photo he had ever seen of his friend, showed the same image; someone trying to capture a perfectly happy moment while Arthur always stood unamused and somewhat depressed looking. But this photo of the two of them was different. The two of them had just pledged to the same fraternity, and while the picture was taken despite the Brit's unwillingness to stand for a photo, one couldn't really tell because in this rare photo, Arthur was truly smiling.

While he was obviously saddened by the thought of having sixteen more days left on the earth, he was more saddened by the fact that this meant he only had sixteen more days left to try and see Arthur.

Around the end of their sophomore year in college, Alfred had begun to develop feelings for the Brit, but like most people, he kept these feelings to himself. While it wasn't the most acceptable form of emotions on campus, his fraternity was special in the sense that two other couples were in the same situation. Two Italian brothers had fallen for two of the officers in the group. The oldest brother named Lovino, ended up with the chapter Secretary Antonio, a rather charming guy from Spain, and his younger brother Feliciano had fallen for the most respected member in the group, their President, Ludwig, a German. Unlike those couples who clearly showed feelings for each other since the beginning, Alfred had no idea whether or not Arthur shared feelings, and he sure as hell didn't want to embarrass himself if he didn't. So he kept his emotions quiet, telling himself he would say something when he felt the time was right, or when Arthur clearly felt the same way.

"I guess the time is now," he said aloud, gently standing the frame back onto the mahogany dresser. Once the picture was resting on the stand, he made his way downstairs to get ready for his day. The thought of him finally telling Arthur rested in his mind. Was it really the right time? Would it ever be the right time? He knew him better than any other brother, yet he still couldn't tell if he felt the same way, let alone if he even felt that way about guys at all. Even if he did know for a fact that Arthur felt the same, he wasn't sure how he would even go about revealing such feelings.

After arriving in the under-furnished kitchen, Alfred shuffled through a few drawers until he found his heavily worn coffee pot. He filled the kettle with water, and gently placed it on the stove to begin boiling water for his morning coffee. If there was one thing that helped keep him running all of these years, it was coffee. Even after the most obscure nights, it would always help him reset the following morning. He reached for the remote conveniently resting on the counter, and turned on the television to the national news. With so much going on in the world, he thought it was important to always be up to date with the latest in politics and environmental issues. The resolution on the screen slowly cleared, as he continued to plan out how he would possibly get in contact with Arthur so that he could finally put his feelings into actual words.