From Lost to Loved to Lost Again

before you read this i want you to know that this is and entirely true story. this happened to me and it will effect me for the rest of my life.

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It’s sad when things don’t go the way you’d want it to. This has happened many times to me. One sticks out the most in my life. It all started not that long ago and it changed my life forever.

That was the last place i wanted to be. I never want to go back. Though my time there was short it had more of a social impact than it should have. I was in the hospital but not for a physical illness. I was in there for a mental illness. As time had went on, it slowly turned physical. If i had let it continue it would have critically injured me. But there in the bloody mental hospital, they taught me how to fight it but they didn’t teach me how to fight it alone.

The hospital wasn’t all that horrid. I made a couple of friends, met the most adorable gay boy i have ever laid eyes on, a made a connection that i would give the world get back. The connection was with someone like no other. His look would scare a normal person but as we all know I’m definitely not a normal person. He had a nose piercing like Vic Fuentas from Pierce the Veil, snake bited like Kellin Quinn used to have from Sleeping With Sirens, gages like Tony Perry from Pierce the Veil, and three lip piercings like Chris Motionless from Motionless in White. In all the time I had known him, he only wore black clothing. His jet black hair was constantly in his face almost completely covering his eyes that were framed with thick black eyeliner. His hair covered his ears but his full cartilage piercings always poked out. His arms were covered in tattoos and bracelets. He looked completely gorgeous with his tall, skinny body.

The people working were trying to help us but they obviously weren’t trying to help him. So i walked over to him. It took some courage to say hello and when I finally did, he couldn’t help but to smile. I still remember that mesmerizing smile. That smile gave me butterflies in my tummy. At free time, he led me to the window and we sat and watched the world below us. Well, he did. I looked at his eyes. They practically glowed.

“It’s funny how people can just walk past this place. They know its a mental hospital for teens. They know why kids go here. They walk by with no worries about our generation. They get on with their lives when we can’t,” he said to break the silence between us. He caught me looking at him and I quickly looked at the people on the street.

“They care about us,’ I murmured quietly. “They are just scared to admit it to themselves because they don’t want to know why we are like we are. If they were us, i’d do the same thing.”

“That’s what I believe, too. My name is David by the way. David Lucas is what I go by,” he smiled at me making my heart melt. He held out his hand and I got a glance of scars and cuts going up his forearm. I blew it off because i know what the feels like.

“My name is Katelyne, but you can call me Katie if you’d like,” i replied with a smile. i took his hand and shook it.

“Strong grip for a girl. Mind if i call you Katie Bear?” he chuckled.

“Half my family does already,” I laughed.

“So Katie Bear, what are you doing here?” he asked suddenly. I saw him glance at my arms and I knew what he saw. I felt ashamed that I didn’t own any long sleeves.

“I have so much wrong with me,” i mumbled. I wished I could hide.

He gently touched the skin of my arm. “Nothing is wrong with you. Wrong things have been done to you is all.”

His words made me feel weird. I had never thought about it like that. He looked at me with great understanding. He could see through my well-developed facade and it made me feel nervous.