Chapter 19

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Chapter 19

          “Isabella, get out of bed, I’m taking you somewhere,” Carlie suddenly called. It’s late July, but it’s a little chilly. I didn’t make a sound, just rolled over and buried myself deeper into the covers. “Isabella ” Carlie sang. “Get up ” She burst into my room and ripped the covers off me. I scowled at her. What the heck does she want now? She’s taken me out shopping all day. I bet it’s around midnight by now.

          I pulled myself into a sitting position and yawned. Shopping with Carlie is exhausting. She threw a pair of sweat pants at me and a maroon shirt. I smiled slightly when I caught them. These are Damen’s.. I shook my head, getting rid of those thoughts. Even if it is summer, I still love to wear his clothes I stole. Surprisingly, they still smell like him, even after all this time. I wear the ring and bracelet he gave me every day of my life.

      Carlie pulled me out of my thoughts by clapping sharply, making me jump a little. “Get dressed,” she said, her tone a little softer as she recognized whose clothes they were. She was going to go to UConn this year, but with me in a deep depression, she didn’t want to go. She broke up with Pence because he wasn’t giving her enough attention. She wasn’t really sad about it, just disappointed in him. She has a job at the local grocery store. Michael and Freya left to go back to their own house. Michael is now an even more successful lawyer then before. I’m very proud of my brother. 

      I quickly pulled on the clothes, grabbing a hair tie and pulling my hair up in a messy bun. “Let’s go,” she said quietly. I followed her down the steps and out the front door, crawling into the passenger side seat. I haven’t gotten a car, and I don’t think I will. Ever since the accident, I don’t think I will be able to.

     Carlie and I drove in silence, keeping to our own thoughts. Where is she taking me? Why did I have to get up so late at night? What if..? No, she wouldn’t do that to me. “Carlie,” I said slowly. “Where are you taking me?” She glanced at me. Then sighed. “Please don’t be mad,” she said. “I know how happy you were.. when you.. you know.” I sighed. I guess it can’t hurt to take me there. 

~

     She pulled up next to a familiar hill. I sighed, just looking at it. My first kiss with Damen happened here. Carlie stayed in the car, letting me go up myself. I trudged up slowly, thinking about when I first came here. Damen and I had just been on his motorcycle. It was the thrill of the ride, I think, that led us to kiss that night.

       I finally pulled myself up to the top, gazing out at the city. It was just as beautiful as before, only, I couldn’t help but think it was nicer when Damen was standing next to me. I frowned, glancing back down at Carlie sitting in the car. She motioned for me to sit, so I did, drinking in the sights. Did Damen come back here at all? Does he think about me? I know I do. Tears sprang to my eyes.

      I miss his touch, his smile, his beautiful eyes, the soft touch of his lips, the gently caress of his hands. I miss looking at him, I miss his compliments, I miss his sister. But most of all, I miss his love. A tear fell from the corner of my eye. I miss Damen. I don’t think I could still live if he didn’t miss me. 

      Before I could do anything, or thing anything else, I heard him. “Isabella?” I turned around so quickly, I almost fell down the hill. “Isabella?” Damen asked, a tear running down his face. “Is that you?” I turned my face away, feeling the tears fall down heavily. Damen’s here? Why did he have to come right when I did? 

       I felt a hand a warm hand on my shoulder. I shook it off reluctantly. “I have to go,” I said, trying to brush past him back down to the safety of Carlie’s car. He caught me around the waist, swinging me around so I could look at him. I felt the familiar tingles go down my spine. I ignored them. He nuzzled his face into my hair and I shivered slightly. “I missed you, Isabella,” he said. “We all do. We miss how you used to be.” I shook his arms off me, turning around all the way so I could look at him properly.

      “Damen,” I said shakily, trying to control the emotions bubbling up inside me. “I told you to stay away from me. I’m no good anymore. I’m all used up.” He stared at me, his face wet with tears. It made me want to step up to him and kiss them away, but I knew I really shouldn’t do that. My own tears were dripping to the ground in a steady rhythm. “Is that what you think?” he asked, clenching his fists. “Isabella, you’re not used.” I shook my head, smiling bitterly. Why can’t he get it? He can find someone so much better than me.

       “I can’t help myself,” he said, seeming to be talking to himself. “I have to talk to you. I miss you so much, Is.” My hands shook as I ran them through my frizzy hair. “I see you’re still wearing my clothes,” he said, a little amused. Why’s he laughing? Now’s not the time to be laughing. I shook my head, laughing through my nose. “Damen, I’m moving tomorrow,” I said. “Away from here.” Damen froze. “What?” he asked quietly. I took a deep breath. “I’m moving, Damen,” I said. “And you’re going away to college. Even if we could be together, I still wouldn’t let it be so. I can’t do that to you. You deserve better.”

      Damen grasped my shoulders. “Isabella, don’t say things like that,” he said, anger shining through his eyes that I love so much. “Where are you going to college?” he asked. I looked up into his eyes, tears blurring my vision. “I’m going to community college at Louisiana,” I said. He shook his head, smiling ruefully. “But you’re so smart,” he said. “Why would you go there? Why waist yourself on a community college?” I glanced at the floor. “Does it matter?” I said. “No one would want to hire me for anything. I’m repulsive.”

      Damen searched my eyes, ignoring my last comment. “I guess this is goodbye,” I said shakily. “Forever.” He crushed me to his chest. I gave in to the shocks, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’m going to miss you, Isabella. I’m going to miss you so much.” he whispered, smelling my hair. I let out a sob. “I already miss you, Dame,” I said, using his beloved nickname. He held me tighter. “Oh, Isabella,” he said. “I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I’m going to love you forever.”

      I sucked in a breath, looking up from his chest. How can he even say that anymore? “I love you, too, Damen,” I whispered. “So much. So much.” He pulled back with a comforting smile. “Can I kiss you?” he asked. “Just one more time?” What can it hurt? My heart’s already an empty hollow. I nodded. His lips pushed against mine with an urgency that was startling. I pushed myself closer to him. This is our last kiss. Forever. I’m never going to see him again. 

     With this thought, I pulled away from him, and ran back down the hill. “I love you, Isabella,” he said. “Don’t ever forget it. I’m going to find you one day. And when I do, we’re going to be together. Forever.” 

~~

next chapter will be the last!

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