The Story of Us

38.) The First Friend

I sat there with a complex look on my face, examining the faces of the happy souls in the room we were in. The gifts coming out one by one, everyone had a smile splattered on them, except one and I. Why, though? Couldn't anybody feel pity for the boy who was about to go fight for his life?




Doesn't anyone know what it's like to feel fear more than anything? Of course not, I thought to myself. These were my perfect dandy cousins, the ones who never failed, or never worried.




I had finished opening my variety of gifts, very luxurious ones I might add. Purses, shoes, clothes, and giftcards. It was one of the best Christmas' I've had in a while, considering my grandparents used to get me school text books, that's it.




The room grew too warm for me by the furnace with this huge stomach, so I excused my abscence and exited the living room. I grasped my bump as I walked out into the porch area, immediately feeling the cold, snowy air. It felt great against my sweatered up arms.




The door slid open, someone coming up beside me and leaning over the terrace with me. My favorite friend, I knew for a fact.




"You ok?", he asked me with a strong voice. I glanced over my shoulder, nodding in agreement. "You cold?", he asked. "No, I'm fine."




He didn't reply, so it was just the two of us leaning over in silence. Silence was okay, it always made the bond closer.




We must have been there for at least 5 minutes, looking out at the snow. It was then I noticed he was looking at the side of my face.




"It's such a beautiful Christmas night", he said almost choking on his frail words. He covered his mouth with his hands and I saw the steam from his hot breath. I blinked once or twice, or maybe even four, but I knew he was breaking inside.




"She's going to look just like you", he told me trying to make some sort of conversation with me. I rubbed my stomach, glancing down at it with dissapointment to myself.




"Would you like to be the god father?", I blurted out letting my breath change the cold. He held his hand up to his chest, mouthing 'me'. I nodded, forcing up a smile. If my child was going to be in with us, she was going to have a very strong, loving family.




"Yeah", he said with a quiet ending. The outside went back to snowing, and we went back to silence. I took a few steps to my left, becoming closer and closer to him with each one.




I wrapped an arm around his muscular waist, pulling him into me. "I'm so scared", he mumbled into my ear, then quickly started to cry.




He moved his arms around my neck, making me cradle him like a little child.




I moved one hand to his head, holding it in the palm of my hand. "You're gonna be so strong", I whispered once or twice, letting us rock back and forth. "I know you are", I whispered again. I rubbed his hair and head, trying to soothe him like my mother used to do.




"You're gonna be fine", I said and felt a drip from my left eye. I forced a smile with tears hidden behind it. I had just lied to a dear, loving bestfriend. "I know you will be", I said and kissed his cheek.




I pulled away in a slow motion, letting my soft lips linger on his face. This seemed to relax his shoulders just a bit, but the crying just continued.




I pulled my arms back, placing them on his shoulders high above us. "Can you be okay just for me?", I asked and touched his now puffy face. He blinked out one more tear, about to speak out. "I'm not okay Audrey", he pleaded and looked me in the eyes.




I let out such a small chuckle, smiling while tears were watering. "We all aren't in someway. What matters is how you deal with it, and you my friend, are such a great hider." He wiped his green eyes up like a mop, getting the tears off his manly jaw. "How so?", he whispered. I turned my head, seeing Tyler and Styles heading towards us outside.




"You've been in love with me for months, and you have yet to say a word to Tyler."

His sad for himself expression went blank, totally in truth. "Listen", he said trying to prove me wrong. I pressed my fingers to his lips. "You don't have to explain", I said with a slight smile. "I tried not to", he mumbled again, I wasn't sure if I heard it right.




The door slid open. "You tried not to what?", Styles asked and threw a hoodie at Dylan. "It's nothing. I should probably get going." He took a look at me, nodding his head once. "I'll meet you at the car", he called to the two boys as they walked off the deck. It left us alone again.




We could hear their footsteps growing further and further away, but we remained silent. I looked up at him, his eyes flaring with flames of fear. I stared at him, now finding myself choked up.




I ran to him, my belly getting in the way of a too tight of a hug. He shook us slowly to the side and back, making me start to cry a bit. I could hear him resisting the urge to burst, but he didn't just for me. He pulled me off him, looking at my glossy eyes. "I'll be seeing you", he said softly to my face. I closed my eyes shut tight, making sure I wasn't dreaming.




I breathed in the cold air, knowing it was real.




"For now", I said and shook his hand, being a good friend. "For now", he said back to me. I looked at his size twelve feet as they walked away from me. His footsteps had a sway to them, and his body moved in alignment with them. I pressed my hand to my mouth, holding in the noises that were soon to come. A hand, turned to a fist, gripping my mouth shut.




Far to the driveway, he gave my boyfriend a bro hug, then laughed even. But then, it was Styles turn. They stared at each other, and then Dylan went in for a full on man hug. Arms around each other, I was almost sure Styles didn't want to let go.




When he finally pulled away, Styles looked stiff as he got into his car, starting it up in this brisk breeze. The car rumbled, and a hand waved from inside the windows. I raised my free hand, waving back weakly. I watched the boys stare at the truck as it glided out on the ice slowly, leaving our house for good.