Heartbreak Stains Us All {Modern Merlin Au}

The beginnings of heartbreak

Merlin paced around his living room, one hand running through his hair, and the other waving around uselessly. His eyes were roaming everywhere in the familiar spot and his mind scrambled to think properly.
"Merlin, you just have to relax." Morgana said, watching her friend pace. 
"Relax? I'm trying to get myself together enough to leave and tell Arthur how I feel. I can't relax." 
Morgana sighed and leaned back on the beige couch. Gwaine decided it was his time to speak up.
"Merlin, buddy, you have a plan. A good one at that. And if anything bad happens, you have an escape plan."
 Merlin stopped pacing, and look towards Gwaine. "I do?"
Morgana and Lancelot nodded, while Gwaine shrugged. 
"What is it?" He asked, crossing his arms.
"Well, if you get to his door and you freak out or something, just tell him we wanted you to get out of the house and ask him if he wanted to come over and hang out with us. I'm sure the princess won't mind either deceleration." Gwaine said, placing one leg over the other on the chair.
  "That's a mighty big word for you, Gwaine." Merlin replied sarcastically. When his nerves were up and high, his sarcasm became his defense mechanism. 
 Gwaine scoffed dramatically and stuck his tongue out at the boy. The four friends laughed a bit, before the tension came back into the room by Merlin's determined gaze at his door. 
The three of the people sitting exchanged looks before giving Merlin reassuring smiles.
"We'll be here Merlin, whenever you need us." Lancelot said. 
 Merlin smiled shakily and nodded his head. He walked forwards and grabbed his red scarf and his brown jacket. He put on his brown boots and took a breath as he opened his apartment door. 
 He walked down the four floors worth of stairs, mentally cursing the broken elevator. His grip on the railing turned his knuckles white from the nerves and force. At the bottom of the stairs, he stopped and took a deep breath. 
   He was going to do this. He was really going to tell Arthur how he felt. 
He can't remember ever being this nervous before.

 He got in his 2014 Kia Optima and drove off down the road. It took half an hour to get over to Arthur's, and that was on a day with no traffic. Today was one of those days.  He was happy and yet he was disappointed in the traffic not being there. He was thinking that with traffic he'd have an extra twenty to thirty minutes to think things through. But he was also glad that there wasn't any so there wasn't a bigger chance of him turning back. 
     He was ten minutes into his drive, when thoughts popped into his head. What if he says no and laughs at you? What if he never wants to be your friend again?
Merlin quickly turned into a parking lot, causing people to honk at him. He parked and hit his head on the steering wheel a few times. 
"I can't do this. I can't. He's going to say no and then...then...something bad will happen. I just know it." Merlin told himself. He shook his head, no. He wasn't going to back out. Arthur needs to know. What's the point of liking someone if they don't know? 
  Merlin sighed and got out of the parking lot, moving towards Arthur's house.

   Once he got there, he parked on the curb just around the corner to Arthur's house. His house was nice. It was a white three-story building with a huge green garden and a pool in the back. There was a balcony at the second floor with glass doors and windows. That was Arthur's room. 
Merlin stepped up to the red front door and raised his fist. he held it in the air for a minute, taking breaths and calming his nerves. Finally, he let his closed fist hit the door three times. His hand shot down as soon as he finished. 
Was three knocks okay? Or was it to much? Desperate knocking? Is that a thing? Maybe he should have done two, or maybe four. Would that make a--
His thoughts were cut off by the door opening. He put on a smile and opened his mouth to say something, but his voice got caught in his throat. Before his eyes was a girl. She had a purple silk housecoat  draped loosely around her light brown body. Her hair was a curly mess and had marks on her neck. Gwen.
  "Merlin?" She asked, yawning. Merlin made to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. He stood there, gaping like a fish out of water.
"Merlin are you alright?" She asked, concern in her eyes. Behind her, Arthur came into view. 
"Gwen? Who is it?" He asked, walking behind her. 
"It's Merlin, but he isn't saying anything." She said as Arthur wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Arthur was wearing red pajama bottoms and no shirt. He had marks on his chest and neck as well and his hair was tousled.
 Dammit, he was hot, Merlin thought. Seeing Arthur stare at him quizzically made him snap out of his haze. 
"Hi." He croaked, and mentally winced at how gross he sounded.
"Hello, Merlin." Arthur said, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Morgana wanted me to get out of the house and ask you in person if you wanted to come over and hang out with us at my place." Merlin said rapidly, blinking fast once he finished. Arthur and Gwen stared at him for a moment, confusion on their faces, before Arthur spoke up.
"Sure, we'll get dressed."
"Okay, i'll-i'll be in my car around the curb, come out when you're done." They closed the door and Merlin rushed to his car. He flung himself into his seat and hit his steering wheel with his fists. 
"God dammit. Why? Why? Why?" He muttered. He took some breaths, but that wasn't helping. Nothing was going to help him now. He got out his phone and when to his texts.