Heartbreak Stains Us All {Modern Merlin Au}

Find someone knew?

   Merlin woke up to a headache and a crusted face. He sat up slowly and put a hand to his head.
"Note to self," he muttered. "Crying yourself to sleep gives you a headache."
He pushed his brown covers off of him and stood up, swaying slightly. He looked over to his clock, hitting it slightly to brighten it up. 7:36. He had three hours until he had to be at the bookstore. He got up and headed for his shower, flipping the lights on and grimacing at the brightness. While walking across the rather large room, he caught a glimpse of himself in the right-hand-side mirror.
He look gross. His hair was sticking up everywhere, his eyes were red, flecks of sleeping crust were scattered across his eyes, and his cheeks were red and stained with dried up tears.
He shook his head as he went the last few steps to his shower. He turned it on to a temperature that was a bit to hot to be called warm, discarded his sleep-worn clothes, and jumped in the streaming water. He sighed as the water made contact with his back. He hoped the shower would help clear his head. He leaned his head against the cool walls of his shower and thought about yesterday.
    How could he have though Arthur would like him? Let alone be into guys. Of course he's with Gwen, why wouldn't he be? She's exactly his type: Cute, caring, funny, kind, dirty innocent type, hopelessly in love with him. He hit his fists lightly above his head, then harder and harder the more he thought about it. He stopped once he felt something other then water fall across his hands. Blood. He pushed himself off the wall and forced himself to wash his hair and his hand.
Once he was finished, he tied a towel around his waist and wiped some fog off the mirror. He now stared at his wet figure and his bloody hands. He sighed to himself as he bent down to get some gauze out of the cupboards. He slowly wrapped his hands, wincing at the pressure.
   "I'm such an idiot." He mumbled, sighing as he left the room. He grabbed his clothes and walked to his kitchen, he debated grabbing breakfast, but his shower took longer then expected. He only had one hour left, and it takes forty minutes to get to the bookstore and he still has to get it ready. He shook his head, walking back towards the front door.
  "I can survive without breakfast today."
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Merlin opened the door with a familiar chime greeting him. His shop may be old, but it was pretty much all he had left of his family.  He breathed in the sent of old books and began organizing the books again.
   He found that after the weekends, the shelves were more disorganized, and he blamed Will completely.
  He had ten minutes to fix it up before he had to open it. He could technically have more time, his store never was that busy, but he preferred to be prepared for anything. 
As he was organizing, he tried to keep his mind off of Arthur and Gwen, or the pitying looks he got from his friends last night. 
 Oh, this book is new. The Lost King, sounds cool. I guess I should put it in Fantasy then. Arthur would like this book. Maybe I could give it to him and Gwen...Idiot! Stop thinking of them, you'll only make it worse.
   Merlin sighed and placed the book in the Fantasy section, trying to blank his mind. Nothing was working, no matter how hard he tried. Just as he grabbed another book, the door bell chimed, indicating that someone had come in.
 Merlin turned his head to the door, stopping his movements.
"Gwen...?"
"Hey Merlin." Gwen said, walking over to him and giving him a kind smile. He tried to mimic the smile, and he did an amazing job.
  "What are you doing here?" He asked, sounding as cheerful as he could. "The shops not even open yet..."
  "Oh? I thought it was. I'm sorry, I guess I just kinda forgot. I can come back later if-" 
"No, no it's fine Gwen. You are always welcome here." Merlin cut her off, waving a hand at her.
"Oh my gods Merlin! What have you done to your hand?" She instantly grabbed Merlin's hand, examining the bandages. She moved her gaze to the other one, and grabbed that as well. 
 Her eyes were huge with worry, and Merlin found himself sighing, trying to come up with a lie that would satisfy her.
 "Uh...This morning I dropped...Uh...A-A glass and cut my hands on it. Nothing serious." He said, stuttering more then he wanted to.
"Are you alright Merlin? Did you clean it well enough?" She asked, reluctantly letting go of his hands.
 Merlin nodded, "I'm alright, and I think i cleaned it well enough. Now, why are you here?"
"Oh, right. I had a reason." Gwen said, smiling at him again. She reached into her purse and pulled out a small package. 
"I just wanted to say thank you for letting come over yesterday, it was nice. So, I got you something."
 Merlin froze for a  moment, before taking the package. 
"Thanks, Gwen, but this wasn't really necessary." Merlin said, turning the package over in his hands. It felt hard, and there was a rectangular dip in the middle of it. 
  "Of course it was, you're always so nice and I thought you needed some recognition for it. Anyway, I have to go, Arthur took the morning off so we could go out to breakfast together. See you soon, Merlin." She called, already walking towards the door.
 "See you." He mumbled, waving half-heartedly. Once she was out of sight, Merlin went to sit behind his desk at the back and center of the room.  He placed the package down and began to open it slowly. 
  He liked Gwen, really he did. But sometimes she was a bit too caring. He ripped the last of the brown paper off and saw that it was a white picture frame with their whole group of friends. Merlin remembered this day, it was when they all decided to go to the beach. They all looked so happy, that Merlin found himself smiling at the memory. He put the picture on the corner of his desk, right next to some books.
  Thank you, Gwen. 

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"How was your day?" Lancelot asked, meeting Merlin at the coffee shop down the road. 
   "Boring. Nothing happened today. How about your day?" Merlin asked, sipping his coffee.
Lancelot shrugged. "We didn't do much today. Just some light training. Percival and I did some warm ups, but a war isn't in sight yet so we can't do to much." 
 Lancelot was in the army alongside Percival. Merlin looked up to the man in some ways. he always seemed to strong and smart that Merlin wanted to be like him. He was also very good looking. Merlin hummed, staring at Lancelot.
"Uh, Merlin? Are you okay?" Lancelot asked, slightly shrinking under Merlin's gaze. Merlin could swear that his cheeks held a light pink tint to them now. 
  "Huh? Yeah, i'm fine. Just thinking." Merlin said, blinking and shaking his head.
"About Arthur?" Lancelot asked, sipping his own coffee. Merlin sighed and didn't reply, there was no need.
   "You'll get over it some day Merlin, trust me on that. Maybe not completely, but enough that you can live again while seeing them. Maybe you'll find someone else in the meantime, someone good enough to fill the gap." Lancelot said, and Merlin knew he was speaking from experience.
  "Did you find someone new?" Merlin asked, leaning towards Lancelot a bit. If he had a crush on someone, he needed to know.
 This time Lancelot visibly blushed.
 "W-what? N-no! Not at all." He stuttered, and Merlin squinted at him.
 "I call bullshit."
"No! No bullshit. I haven't found anyone! I swear. No one serious. Plus, even if I did, they wouldn't be interested in me. I seem to find the ones who are already taken in their heart." Lancelot looked down now, avoiding Merlin's eyes.
"So you have found someone. I am going to find them and when I do, i'm going to force you guys together. You deserve someone true, Lance. After all you've been through."
 Lancelot rolled his eyes and gently pushed Merlin's head, making him sit back in his chair.
  "Is it Percival?"
Lancelot choked and his coffee, and Merlin burst into a fit of laughter. Lancelot shook his head and watched as Merlin threw his head back. 
  "No, not Percy." But someone else close to me. He wanted to say, but bit his tongue. 
Merlin stopped laughing, but still let out some giggles every once in awhile.
"That's a shame. I could totally see that happening." Merlin said, pouting slightly.
Again, Lancelot rolled his eyes. "I hate you, Merlin."
"Love you too."

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As soon as Merlin fell onto his couch, his phone buzzed. He sighed and took it out of his pocket, seeing that Arthur was calling him.
   "Arthur?"
"Merlin! I need your help!"
"With what? Do you really need to yell?" Merlin asked, rolling his.
"It's important! Gwen wants me to meet her parents in a few days and i'm not ready. I don't want to say no, but I don't want to say yes. Help me!"
Merlin felt a twinge of pain in his stomach, but sighed anyways.
"Why don't you want to meet her family? I've met them, they're nice people. Her brother may give you a hard time though, seeing as your dating his sister and all. But they are nice people. Why wouldn't you want to meet them?"
On the other end of the line, Merlin could hear Arthur sigh.
  "This would mean we were serious. And it's not like I don't want to be, it's just I don't want to be yet. You know?"
"No, i've been single my whole life. I don't know."
"Well, it's because you're an idiot, that's why you've always been single."
Or because I like womanizing prats. Merlin wanted to say, but he settled for this:
"We will meet tomorrow after work and we'll find a way around or through this. See you, Prat."
"Bye."
 Merlin hung up the phone and threw it on the coffee table. He should probably eat something, he hadn't eaten anything today, but he didn't the energy or the will to do so. So, he settled for watching TV instead.
  Merlin never noticed how tired he was until he started to drift off into sleep only minutes later. He was not looking forward to tomorrow.