Shades of Innocence (A GerIta FanFic)

Chapter 7

WARNING: Murder and feels is included in this chapter

Feliciano held his breath. Ludwig had stopped speaking and seemed unlikely to continue; the German stared at the floor with blank eyes, his expression unreadable. The Italian had always found himself to be a great listener, and had been told countless times that his solace and sound advice had gotten people through some tough times. It was never normally he'd be in a situation where he just didn't know what to say, how to respond to such a chilling answer. The man sat next to him on the narrow bunk had just revealed that the death of his brother had been the cause for him being put inside, caused him to commit the heinous act of murder.

The growing silence was becoming unbearable; Feliciano needed to say something, anything to get Ludwig to talk. Something the British prison guard had once told him swept across his mind; 'He doesn't have a family, he had a brother once...' and that's when it all made sense. Feliciano cleared his throat; it had gone dry, and croaked out a new question. "...and he was...your only family?"

Ludwig released his hold on the back of his neck, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he leant over on his knees, elbows resting on the top of his broad legs. "He wasn't just that." he muttered, vacant stare fixed on the cold floor. "He was my best friend, my reason for living...the only person I had in this gott verdammt world." Ludwig's voice took on a harsh tone, his fists clenching ever so slightly on top of his legs, causing him to wince slightly as he irritated his bandaged arm.

Feliciano watched him carefully. "...how come you had no one else?" he asked quietly, pressing on.

The German was silent for a few moments and the Italian worried he'd pushed it too far. He was about to apologise when Ludwig suddenly sat up on the bunk, hands braced on his knees. "Because I didn't have a family." he said sharply, turning to look at the Italian; the German sighed at Feliciano's confused expression. "Gilbert wasn't my real brother, okay? I don't have parents, und neither did he, we grew up in the same orphanage." Ludwig sounded annoyed and the Italian shrunk in on himself slightly. He took a few moments to calm down before he carried on, speaking softer as he focused his attention back on the floor at his feet.

"I'd spent my whole life there, almost straight from birth..." he muttered, tracing his fingers gently through his hair. "...abandoned on their doorstep as a newborn with no trace of my parents, the social workers tried to track them; I was taken to the hospital but there was no record anywhere of my birth." the German briefly shut his eyes, "...und I was given a name by some nurse who was working there."

Feliciano was reminded of the German signing only his first name on that medical form. "They didn't give you a last name?"

Ludwig looked across at him, quirking an eyebrow. "What last name would they give me? They had no idea who I was...they didn't see it as important, und I guess it wasn't to them." he said, his voice softening even more as he spoke. Feliciano didn't respond and the German carried on, opening up to this complete stranger. He did look away however, finding that he couldn't talk to the Italian whilst they held eye contact. "I was taken back to the orphanage und made available for adoption...but that's where I stayed. After five years in the nursery I was finally moved into the main building to live with the older children...und it was there where I first met Gilbert." a slight smile played in Ludwig's voice as he said his brother's name.

"I didn't really notice him much at first; I was shy und afraid of the other children because I was so much younger than them. They picked on me und wouldn't let me play with them or join in any games, even the social workers seemed to steer clear of me, they wouldn't give a brat like me the time of day." Ludwig spat with venom, voice shaking ever so slightly. "We were schooled in the orphanage und the bullying carried on even in the classroom, children my own gott verdammt age didn't want anything to do with me."