Monster's Secret X Readers

Esme X Reader

Your  POV

November 24

Its hard being pansexual. People judge you, and its hard to come by a person who won't be an asshole and ask you why you like trans people. Sometimes I hate giving an answer because attraction can't be explained. Like, its easy to explain how your attracted to a sexy person, but not a type of person. For example, I can list numerous reasons why I like Esme....wait......did I just reveal I liked Esme??? Goddammit...now I can't stop blushing....

"Yo, (Name)!" Esme called.

"Oh, hey, Esme!" I answered.  "I was just writing in my journal is all, haha."

"That's cute," Esme said putting my hair behind my ear.

"Nah, not really," I mumbled. 

"Mind if I read?" He offered. I turned very red and pulled the book to my chest.

"I'm a terrible writer, you really don't want to read it...." I tried so hard not to sound suspicious but I am a terrible person and sounded suspicious, I'm the craziest person you'll ever meet, I couldn't help myself.

"How come?  Is there something you don't want to show me?" He smirked.

"Ahhhh its nothing, really," I laughed. 

'Whatever, do you wanna get donuts or something?" Esme asked me.

"Sure!" I said nervously getting up from my seat. 

Later

At this point we got out donuts and were walking down the city streets as the sun started setting.

"Ah, the sun's so beautiful, isn't it?" Esme said throwing his arms up in the air.

"well, of course it is, you have sun powers," I replied taking a bite from my donut, "AHH!" I freaked out.

"Whats wrong?" He asked me. I was now beat red, hardly able to talk.

"I...think I caught myself flirting with you.....BY accident!" I nervously said.

"That's adorable," He smiled, "you like me don't you?" 

I turned completely red and said, "N-no...." I denied.

"It's okay, I like you too," He said kissing my lips. 

I never want this kiss to end. What will I say when he lets go? Will it be awkward silence? My heart was filled with love, I know this isn't a celebrity crush you'll never date. This love is in my heart. A real love. How could I live without him?

"Aishiteru yo," He told me.

"I-I do too.....I mean! I feel the same way....." I said biting my sleeve.

January 6

Me and Esme were officially together, but I haven't been feeling very good for the past few months. Just general ache. My mom is going to take me to the doctors today so maybe they can figure out what's wrong with me.

"Are you excited to feel better?" Mom asked me.

"What if they can't help me?" I asked.

"I'm sure they can," She reassured. I felt nauseated thinking about what kind of illness I may have. Could life just  slip from my control that easily?

Febuary 27

I forgot to update this journal the day of my doctors appointment so I guess I'll just update now. It was so obvious they were able to diagnose immediately. I burst into tears, never have I ever imagined I'd get cancer. I've been in the hospital for about a week now. They decided they wanted monitor me since they don't know how my body will react to my first round of Chemotherapy. I'm doing pretty good but I can't stop purely panicking. I can't believe I'm a cancer patient. I currently feel like utter shit, but thats everyday. 

July 23

I've been forgetting to update this journal. But so far I've had 12 rounds of Chemo. The cancer keeps progressing further  so I'm currently in the hospital. I will have surgery next week, so I hope that goes well. 

August 2

Today will be the first day I see Esme since I was diagnosed. I'm scared. The surgery went well. I still haven't lost all of my hair, but it's definitely getting there. I just want to see him. I'm weak from Chemo. I need my comfort. 

"Hey.....(name)?" Esme came in.

"Esme..." My eyes filled with tears. I'm so excited to finally see him. 

"I'm sorry," He said looking at me covered  in feeding tubes and IVs, half of my hair gone. We hugged each other tightly never knowing when we would see each other again.

So we spent the rest of the day together together, doing a bunch of ambitious things like challenges and such. I wanted to do everything with him, unsure of how long we were going to be together.  I can't even count how many times we kissed. 

November 12

Esme here, its been quite awhile since (name) updated her journal. I decided to update it for (him/her ) I don't really know if (she'll/he'll) ever update again. (name) went on life support today and everything else in my life just went downhill. I was unhappy, me and my best friend ever broke our friendship, its been hell. I'm scared. I'm writing while in her room, watching her body be monitored. Its almost our 1 year anniversary, I'm praying she'll make it, so we can have a lovely anniversary. (Name), I will always be by your side. 

November 23

I sat by (names) side, as (his/her) was slowly dying, the day (he/she) was taken off life support. Could this really be the end of (name)? I was crying my eyes out while holding (his/her) hand. I don't want to loose (him/her). Our anniversary is tomorrow.....please make it one more day.
"(name), I love you," I said as her heart was beating slower and slower every beat.

"Esme.....I love you too," (he/she) said to me as all of the monitors went silent. (Name) is dead. My life was over. I couldn't breathe at the sound of no heartbeat, the sound of my dead boyfriend/girlfriend.

November 24

Today, is the day of me and (name)'s 1 year anniversary. Also, the day of (name)'s funeral. My eyes were filled with tears as I made my speech. (Name) was my life my everything, I took her life for granted. (he/she) slipped from me so easily, only 1 year ago we started dating and 1 year later she passed.

Who knows where life will take me next. I'm going to let the future decided, which means I'm ending this journal here. I'm grateful for the words I have left of my love, (name). 

Goodbye.