It Could be You

Chapter 15

Sherlock decided to wait for John to come home before he confronted Carter about their future together. He'd searched his feelings and found he had only one real regret about seeing Carter again. Ian had brought up the only stumbling point in Sherlock's mind. Carter might have formed an emotional attachment to him. What if he were only minutes away from breaking the boy's heart? He'd had his feelings hurt as a young man. One of his first trysts had been with a classmate he'd developed a crush on. They'd communicated their mutual attraction secretively and covertly for many months before finally allowing themselves a few stumbling sexual encounters.

During one of their encounters, they'd been caught kissing by two girls who'd giggled and pointed at them. After that, the boy had grown distant and finally asked Sherlock not to talk to him anymore. He'd been crushed by the rejection, so he knew how it felt. Sherlock's interest in the fireman had barely scratched the surface of lust and physical attraction. But, he'd just tell Carter the truth and hope that he hadn't solidified real feelings for him yet.

Trisha's whereabouts galled at him. He didn't have her number, and he didn't want to ask Carter for it as he wasn't ready to confront him just yet. He texted Lestrade and asked him to send a patrol officer to her flat to check up on her. The man owed him at least that favor after he'd solved the skateboarding crime for him last week.

Lestrade agreed to check on the girl and report back to him within the hour. Sherlock had used the time before John returned to look up the stories he'd remembered in Carter's book. Most of the first stories were about European serial killers. It seemed Frank had liked the more gruesome killers who dealt in bulk or inventiveness. Sherlock's cab driver, suicide killer had been in the book along with four other's he'd worked on over the years. But, the most recent stories had simply been about other types of cases. The focus of the book had changed from the killers and crimes to focusing on Sherlock's detective work catching criminals.

If this had been Frank's obsession, might he have involved Carter in it somehow? It didn't make sense.

Sherlock heard the lock turn downstairs and John's footsteps as he made his way upstairs.

"Sherlock!" John called.

There was an edge to his voice that betrayed a little fear. John had been worried. He'd come home from work early to check up on him, and that only stoked the glow he'd gotten earlier when John had touched his cheek and told him that they'd be discussing their relationship upon his return.

John bounded into the front room a little out of breath. "I got here as quick as I could," he said.

"I was in no immediate danger, John. But, thank you," Sherlock said putting the laptop down and moving over to his flat mate. "I appreciate your concern."

And, Sherlock found he really did appreciate it. John's flushed cheeks betrayed how fast he'd moved to get back to Baker Street as quickly as possible.

"Have you found out anything else?" John asked. "Trisha?"

"Lestrade sent a man over to check on her. She still isn't answering her door and without probable cause, he can't do more than that."

John nodded. "Good, I'm glad you contacted Lestrade. At least he'll be in the loop." John moved to stand next to Sherlock. He seemed a bit uncomfortable for a moment until he moved in and encircled his arms around Sherlock for a hug.

Sherlock stood still for a moment before he wrapped his arms around John and offered a returning squeeze. He had no idea if this was a "hugging" moment, but he found himself relaxing into the embrace and liking the feeling very much.

"I'm glad you didn't let him in, Sherlock," John said. "I don't like this situation at all. Perhaps this is how it's done today, but something about this whole situation has seemed off since last night."

They broke apart. "I've got to break up with Carter," Sherlock announced suddenly.

"Ah, yes," John said running a hand through his short, sandy hair. "I've been thinking about that today too."

Sherlock sat back in his chair and put his head in his hands. "I'm afraid he'll take it badly," he said through his fingers.

John kneeled at Sherlock's feet and said, "I know this is a difficult thing. What do you want to do?"

"I engaged him in this relationship," Sherlock began. "I should be direct about my changed status and tell him."

"Are you over Carter?" John asked.

Sherlock looked down at his knees. "I know this sounds "a bit not good" but I wanted to know what it would be like to have a boyfriend. I wanted someone who would be there physically and even emotionally. I thought if I liked the looks of someone, the rest would follow. I will admit I did find him attractive."

John raised one eyebrow. "I don't think I've ever been more surprised that day at the park. It took every ounce of my self-control not to throw him to the ground and punch him until he confessed everything you two had been doing."

Sherlock smiled at that. John had been jealous.

"I'm sure my stomach nearly came through my mouth when I saw you walking toward us. I felt as if I'd been caught stealing money from the collection plate. The worst combination of guilt and a horrible pride ran through me. I wanted to show you I could be romantic with someone. I've often thought you believed me incapable of it."

"I've never believed that, Sherlock. You're one of the most caring people I've ever met. I know I've spent a lot of time agonizing over women and for that I'm sorry. I've been searching for someone I could spend my life with. All I had to do was open my eyes, and I'd have seen you there. What do you think our status is?" John asked quietly.

Sherlock turned his head searching John's face for clues as to what to say. "I love you, John. I have loved you for so long, and I want to be together. I've wanted this," here he took John's hand and kissed it," for longer than even I knew. Now that we've... Now that we've admitted it to each other, I want to keep admitting it. I want to be like we were last night for as long as we can."

"I love you too, Sherlock," John said gripping his hand back and letting out a happy laugh. "I'm pretty sure we've been in a relationship for a while now. We've just gone to the next level, as they say."

"Really, John?" Sherlock said rolling his eyes. "The next level?"

"Yes, you Berk," he said pulling the detective in for a kiss. "I'll be happy to level up with you any day."

"So are we...?" Sherlock prompted.

"Together," John said. "Boyfriends, in a committed relationship, yes. And, no more dating for either of us!"

"Hmmm. I like the sound of that Watson," Sherlock growled and kissed him again.

They broke apart a few moments later. "I've got to go next door. I can't put this off any longer," Sherlock said sadly.

"You want me to go with you?" John asked.

Sherlock did. He wanted to hold John's hand and use his incredible strength as he broke the news to Carter, but he knew that would not be kind. "No, I'll go speak to him. The café closes at 2:00 today. It's nearly that. Carter wasn't supposed to work today, so I'm surprised he's there. They must have got the fire under control."

John nodded. "I'll be right here. Text me if things get out of control."

Sherlock's eyebrows raised. "I will."

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