And Shoot The Sun [Brallon]

Because I Tore It Off (Pt. 2)

hella.

you guys liked the last update so much so here I am doing the fastest consecuive updates ever.

Because tbh I want to know what happens next too.
So like wow a lot of Brendon's POV weird weird I hope you like this please don't kill me.
~Trigger Warning ~
It's mostly for his thoughts rather than his actions but there are some actions (sadly) so please make the right decision for yourself and stay safe.

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Brendon:

I laugh at something that Zack says to the barrista, pretty drunk and obviously trying to flirt, when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

I pull it out and squint to make out the words on my lock screen.

"From Dallon: Goodnight. Love you."

I furrow my eyebrows, standing up slightly, pulling cash out of my pocket and setting it on the counter for the barrista.

I'm suddenly feel an overwhelming need to check on Dallon and make sure that he's alright. Maybe it's just the alcohol messing with my perception of time, but wasn't Dallon going to bed when I left?

"We need to go." I say, attempting to pull Zack up by his arm, only to find out that I'm possibly more intoxicated than I thought as I stumble backwards into a girl.

"Oh! I'm sor- holyshityou'reBrendonUrie." she says all in one breath.

I try and figure out if I know her before deciding that no, I deffinately don't.

"I'mmm sorry but I needtogocheck on Dallon." I accidentally slur.

I turn to go when the girl gently grabs the hem of my blazer.

"Brendon? What's wrong with Dallon?" I sigh, frustraited over the fact that I obviously need to be with Dallon right now, and not talking to some random bruette who looks much too young to be here anyway.

"Look. I need to go. Something is wrong. I need to go." I say, an edge of panic engrained in my voice and slightly sobering.

I tug myself out of her grip and jog unsteadily out the door, meeting Zack on the sidewalk outside the small bar

"Dallon" I say, pulling him down the block to the hotel.

"Dallon."

Dallon:

I sit in the bathroom shaking. Wondering how deep I would have to go to kill myself.
The fans want me dead, Brendon would be better off without me, hell.
Everyone would be better off without me.
I give up on trying to wipe the tears out of my eyes and let them fall.
You're not pretty
You're not good
You're poison
Killl yourself
Kill yourself
Kill yourself
If I could breathe before I certainly can't now.
I suddenly realize that I need to say something to Brendon. He would probably be upset with me for not leaving him a note or something.
Shit.
I left my fucking phone on the bed. I say "fuck it" and put the razor to my wrist.
Fuck.
I always forget how much it burns.
I deserve this.
I'm not important.
No one lov-
Oh. Brendon loves me.
I break down into sobs once more, blood soaking my black pajama pants and tears soaking my white t shirt.
I'm such a mess.
But I can't do this now. Brendon will never forgive me.
I stand up, almost falling over before I make the two steps to the sink.
Turning on the water, I try not to look at myself in the mirror, despite my eyes already traveling up to meet my reflection.
And I still hate what I see.
You're not pretty
You're not pretty
You're not pretty
I know.
I shut off the water, seeing as the bleeding had stopped and hang my head.
Oh fuck- I feel sick.
I turn around just in time to dry heave into the toilet.
Damn it it's a horrible feeling being sick when you have nothing in your stomach.
But I can't eat. Not if I want to be half as pretty and perfect as Ryan.
It's an even worse feeling to be so imperfect.
Kill yourself.
I repeat in my head.
And maybe I will. But I need to be perfect first. To see if maybe I could possibly make Brendon happy if I'm perfect.
Shit.
I suddenly feel faint.
I assess that there is no blood on the floor and that my razor is back in my bag.
I stumble my way back to bed, stopping once at my suitcase for a sweatshirt.
Fuck.
I think as I grab my phone and open my messages to Brendon.
"Goodnight. Love You." I type out.
I press send and let the phone slip from my fingers onto the unmade bed.
Goodnight.

Brendon:

I reach Dallon's hotel room, Zack having already gone into ours.
I knock on the door.
"Dallon? Spencer? Dallon!?"
At first I hear nothing, and then I hear someone unlock the door.
That person is Spencer, I see as the door opens to reveal the tired man.
"Brendon, it's 4 AM. What the fuck?"
I push past him and walk into the room, my eyes landing on Dallon.
"Bren?"
"I need to check on Dallon. Is he okay?"
Spencer gives me a strange look and nods, slowly locking the door and going back to bed.
I walk up to Dallon and look at him. There are tears on his face and he looks cold, despite his sweatshirt and the blanket that was probably covering him earlier, now tangled in his legs.
He looks so fragile. So breakable.
No, not breakable, broken.
I grab an extra blanket from the closet and climb into the bed next to him, covering us both with the blanket.
I put my arm around his stomach and hear a week voice say "Brendon?".
"Yeah. It's me Dallon." I reply softly.
"I love you too." He whispers, yawning post statement.
It's so quiet that I almost tell myself I didn't hear it.
But how could I not have?
Dallon's voice is the only thing I want to hear.
His eyes are the only thing I want to see and his love is all that I want to feel.
And I'm not going to let anyone or anything take him away from me now that I have him.
I can't loose him.
I'd die.