Singing

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Heirs of a cold war,
That's what we've become,
Inheriting troubles,
I'm mentally numb.
Crazy, I just cannot bare,
I'm living with something that just isn't fair.
Mental wounds not healing,
Who and what's to blame?
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train.

- Ozzy Osbourne

Parker's P.O.V

I follow Mace and the others as they walk, humming as I go. Despite these dark times, music is still part of my daily life. Of course I've got my guitar back in my room, and, of course, my lovely singing voice. Just because the world is going insane doesn't mean that the good things need to die with it. I find the stiff chap Matt eyeing me with what I think is annoyance in regards to my humming. It only encourages me to hum louder. So what if it irritates? This is my life and I'll glorify the good Lord with a joyful noise which in this case happens to be humming and dear Matt will have to deal with it.

Liz walks alongside me, holding a pocket knife and eyeing it with curious regard. She looks at her blades and the flames of her lighters constantly, as if it is her first time beholding them. I don't understand it but who am I to stop her? It must be what keeps her sane in this mad world. Mace very fearlessly leads us in search of Jack. I have the utmost confidence that he is alive and well but part of me fears the worst at the same time. He is a very resourceful lad but he's not bulletproof. Or, as I should say in this case, bite-proof. This Hannah lass is looking around intensely and she catches sight of a billowing cloud of smoke rising above the trees just as I do. "Hey Mace, look." she calls directing his attention to the gray spirals.

"Let's head towards it. Could be Jack." I chime in and Mace agrees.

We walk onward and as we near the smoke I realize someone has been burning the dead. Matt and Hannah converse in hushed tones that ooze fear. "Everything alright?" I inquire and they look at me.

"Something isn't right. One of our guys were out here burning these with Anika. It doesn't make sense that neither of them are here." Hannah explains fearfully.

"Let's go in pairs and see if we notice anything close by or signs of struggle and report back in a few." Mace suggests. "Hannah you and Matt go west with Liz, Parker follow me east."

Once we split up, Mace and I immediately look for any signs that could explain what happened to Pablo and Anika. Mace remains silent and I can't help but wonder what is going through the blonde mans head. He may be quiet but he thinks of things more deeply than any of us. The sun begins to dim as rain clouds pull over it and it dampens the mood as well as the air. This search is feeling discouraging considering there are three missing persons as opposed to the one we started out to find. Suddenly I notice something that catches my eye, beneath a deep green shrub. "Mace," I mutter and he turns to me as I reach for the silver thing below the shrub. It is a chain. Jacks chain to be specific. "Looks like Jack may have met our new friends."

"Something must have come up if he left his chains. Let's head back and check what the others may have found." he sighs.

We walk back to the clearing and when we arrive the others are waiting expectantly. They are empty handed but when they see what I am carrying their vacant expressions light. "Where did you get that?" Matt exclaims.

"Under a shrub. Something must have happened but it doesn't make sense that Jack would leave his chains they are his choice weapons." Mace murmurs and again Matt and Hannah consult each other in hushed tones.

"Is there something you guys aren't telling us?" Mace inquires suddenly with a fierceness that surprises me. Silence. "These are Jack's chains. Let me tell you that if there is the slightest danger we need to know because we want to help you but this also includes one of our own now, and we need to know what's going on." Mace says firmly. Hannah and Matt remain silent but they are exchanging concerned glances.

"We don't know, there are a lot of dangerous people who roam this place. Random crews of people who barely have the right to be called human anymore and they kill for fun. We just are afraid he may have come across one of those groups." Hannah says quietly.

"We need to head back and get reinforcements. Then we'll come find your friend." Matt says and to my surprise Matt doesn't argue. He simply follows and I suppose I shall too.

***

Grace no longer speaks much, she is one of our strongest teammates, but at the same time she's our most tormented. She has lost so much. She doesn't know about her family, she doesn't know where David is, she lost her dear friend Chey, she lost Maya who helped keep her together, and now she doesn't know where Jack is. On returning to the settlement with Mace and the others two weeks ago, we were introduced to a new member named Anika. She had come across Jack, apparently they saved each other, and he had departed from her to go and find Grace. But we were never able to find him. The irony of the fact that he almost found his way back to her with Anika but he chose to leave in search of her is murderous. I believe that Grace has little left to hold on too, and none of us know how to help her. Rachel tries to talk to her from time to time, but she is quite determined to withdrawn into herself, and Rachel spends most of her time with Stevo these days. They have found something good amid all the bad. Even Morgan and Andrew have no luck with her. The only person she occasionally speaks more than five words too is Troy, but he is almost as silent as her except for when he is making plans with and for us. They keep each other company in silence, but I have a feeling that their silence is their loudest form of communication with each other. It's as if a sad glance from Troy to Grace is his way of saying "I'm sorry about Jack.". Or a sharp look from Grace to him is saying "I miss Maya,". I can't explain it but I know that they are dependent on one another right now.

On the bright side we've settled in to our new home quite well. We get along famously with the others, there are quite a lot of hispanic people here. Makes me think of Maya. I wish she was still around for me to crack mexican jokes at. She was so sassy and genuinely hated it when people called her another race than her legitimate one which was Puertorican. She was a good girl, and would have loved these people here. At least she's in a better place. She hopped the bloody border into heaven instead of the states this time. Dang, that was good. Am I awful to be cracking jokes about this? No one will ever know. Sorry Lord, I'm only human. But anyhow, we're all settled into this lovely little complex. My room- how blessed it is to be able to say I have a room again- is quite a rustic place and I love it. I so often sit there and play my gorgeous guitar and sing. Everyone used to complain about the noise I was making but they've gotten over it and Grace actually voiced to me in less than ten words that she can't sleep if I don't play at night. Music is food for the soul and lyrics to music is drink for the spirit. We all need some sort of sustenance for the intangible. And I do believe that singing is that substance. And in this time I feel that we are at peace with the world, and what better place for music than during peace? It's the simpler things in life that we took for granted that we are pleased to once again have and love, even if it's only for a short time now. Because unfortunately, like singing, no good thing lasts forever and every note has an end just like every day.

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