The Devil Child

Chapter Thirty-Four

 Before Gryphon had eavesdropped on Mary and Keith, before Polly had learned of Darcy, and before Kenzie had been ignored by her father, Tanner had been scheming.

He stood before his mother's grave, looking down at the stone that marked where the woman he had loved so dearly now lay. A lot had happened since Polly had been let go, and he could barely believe he had found her again. Could barely believe his own brother was in love with her, too. It was a cruel fate that Tanner needed to get a grip on.

"Mom, I don't know where I went wrong."

That wasn't true, because Tanner did know. It was when his mother died. It was when his deadbeat father took him in and introduced him to religion. And as a young child hurting, religion was all he had to turn to.

"I honestly thought I was helping. Dad told me all those things about you, about how you were killed because you were gay. I should have known. I should have made my own opinions. But I was pigheaded and now I am in so much trouble."

Silence answered him, but he was expecting just as much. He leaned down and placed the flowers on the grave, tears running down the apples of his cheeks. He was suddenly a young boy again, living at home with his mother and Priscilla, living a life he was quick to deem wrong.

"I think the hardest thing, mom, was waking up and seeing what a monster I've become. I've hurt so many people, mom. I've tortured them and said horrible things, and it has helped no one. I've only made things worse, and you said to always treat everyone with kindness, and I did just the opposite. You taught me better. You made me a better person when you were alive."

And it was true, for Tanner. The worst thing that had ever happened to him was his mother dying. How had he gone from such a loving family to one full of hatred? And how had his views gone so corrupt in such a short amount of time?

Tanner knew he was going to Hell. He knew it, and it was a troublesome fact, but he accepted it. Because what he had done to everyone, that was so much worse.

"Mom, could you ever forgive me? You were so loving and accepting, and I was not. I was so clouded by hate and pity that I didn't see how I was hurting others. And now the girl I love hates me, and she's gay. And she always will be."

Tanner shut his eyes and tipped his head back to the sky. The graveyard was covered in trees, allowing for a shady space for his mother to rest.

He wasn't a good person now. That wasn't how it worked, but Tanner did feel more free. He felt a weight lift off of his chest. He felt like he could start over, become someone else. He wanted to erase everything, but even he was not so naive to believe that was a possibility.

Tanner Higgins was not a good person. He probably never would be. But realizing his faults and actively wanting to change himself was a push in the right direction because he may have hurt so many in the past, but at least he knew he wouldn't be hurting anyone in the future.

"Please forgive me, mom. I love you so much. So much. I'm sorry for not visiting as often as I should, and I'm sorry for the person I have become, because you would hate me. You would have kicked me out of the house and disowned me. And the moment I realized this, I should have stopped. But now I am, and I love you so much."

Tanner Higgins was changing the course of his life in this moment for the better. He was moving forward from his past. He was becoming a better person.

Keith Chambers was not.

He stood on his daughter's front porch, breathing in and out. There was one car in the driveway, and it didn't belong to Kenzie's mother.