17 & 23

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL

"I get so high fuck around and never come down.." Wiz Khalifa sang in the background while me and Shirley easily got to talking. It was boring at first I must admit. Listening to her just talk and talk. I couldn't sit still. I don't even remember what we talked about but I do remember when the switch turned on. She had just asked me an interesting question. "Why are you doing this?" My initial reaction was a what face but it turned into a thinking face as soon as I saw her face. She had a serious and worried look. She was worried about me. Finally I answered her confused as to what she means I asked her "what? What do you mean?". After that everything started making me think about my life, including christen, and including Vero. Shirley came close to me on the couch and sat herself comfortably before putting her arm on my shoulder and  further explaining her question. "Why are you doing drugs? It's not like you. You aren't about all this. Even if they are your friends you never get high with them. Wtf are you thinking Tobin. What about soccer? Huh? Did you think of that?" Every sentence causing me to rethink my responds. "You don't even know me. They're my friends and I wanted to try something new. Maybe soccer isn't for me." I responded with a sense of power. She rolled her eyes at me and thought of what to say next. I watched her and in my mind all I could think about was its Christen. It's not her fault I don't blame her. I make my own decisions, but it's her. I love her, and no one will ever know. "Are you really done with soccer?" She asked me in her serious tone with those beautiful eyes. I looked her in the eyes and for once that week I stopped thinking about Christen and focused on her eyes. I've never looked at Shirley but I had never given a thought to it. But truth is she's beautiful. "Yeah. I am. But don't worry about me. Umm, getting high isn't my thing. It's nice and all but I don't want trouble" I said to her in a soft voice. "Fine be done with soccer. And good, drugs are bad. And you're to gorgeous to go to waste and end up all skinny." She said as we both laughed at the thought of me as a crackhead.