Impossible to Forget

Chapter 44: Fluttering, Nerves, and Heart Failure

For the next week that Kakashi was in the hospital recovering, I just couldn't do it, I just couldn't bring myself to go and visit him without feeling like I was going into cardiac arrest.

This was the longest that I had gone without seeing him since over two years ago when I had successfully avoided Kakashi for twenty-five years. I just couldn't help or comprehend the terrified feelings I'd get when I'd start walking to his hospital room so I found myself avoiding it.

I was really starting to miss Kakashi, though, so I could only hope that my heart failure when in his vicinity was only a temporary ailment and that I'd get over it quickly. But for now, I was going to hide in my office doing mountains of paperwork that my aides were more than capable of doing themselves. Luckily, they didn't question me when I had grabbed a large number of the menial documents that I technically didn't have to read through myself.

There was a knock on the door, and thinking that it was Izumo or Kotetsu, I didn't even look up.

"Come in."

"Uh, hello, Kai..."

I nearly dropped my pen when I glanced up at a sheepish Kakashi.

My heart decided to lodge itself in my throat, making it surprisingly difficult to think or speak.

"He-hello, Kashi... I see that you've been released from the hospital. Which is a good thing, of course. You know, you don't have to knock. In fact, it's kind of freaking me out that you did."

Damn it, I had started rambling.

"I'll remember for that for the future." A slightly awkward pause before he gestured to my right hand, which was resting atop my desk, "I see that you got out of your cast."

"Yes, yes I did. It was about two days ago; Shizune removed it for me." I looked back down at my desk to ensure that he couldn't see that my stomach acid had suddenly started feeling like it was carbonated. Not that he would be able to see that, even if it was the case, but I couldn't be too careful.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to go and grab a bite to eat since it's lunch time."

I glanced back up at Kakashi and was shocked to find that his ears were bright pink.

"I'd love to." I cringed as my voice broke and became painfully high about halfway through.

I stood up quickly and almost knocked my chair over and blushed a bit more as Kakashi's eyes followed my attempt to grab and right it before it could hit the floor.

But when I glanced back him, he was smiling.

"Where do you want to go?"

I pondered that for a moment, "Anywhere but the tea shop. I think that those lunches with Sadao and Jukouro ruined that place for me for forever."

Kakashi laughed, "I figured that'd be the case."

I started for the door, but before I could reach it, Kakashi gently grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Do you need something?"

He looked at me seriously for a couple of seconds, "Actually, yes. I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. Sakura told me about your injuries and to carry me that far in that state, I..."

That fluttering in my stomach stilled and my heart failure seemed to slow down a tiny amount. "It was my way of thanking you for saving my life."

He smiled, "So, um, what you said back there right before Raiju woke up..."

My smile grew as I turned to face him fully. "I meant every word of it."

His gaze softened, "I'm glad to hear it because I was worried for a while there when it seemed like you had started avoiding me again."

"I, uh, was only sort of avoiding you. I had developed a sudden and irrational fear of your hospital room and couldn't bring myself enter it. Sorry."

"Well, you weren't alone because I was so terrified of coming in here today that I hovered in the hallway for a whole half an hour and then I even knocked."

"You didn't need to knock."

"Good."

Yes, everything was good.