My Suicidal Love Story

Bryce Taylor (ch15)

“Take a right here.” I squeak. After Aaron found me in the closet he drove me home. I know my parents won’t be home. My mom is at work and my dad is probably at the bar. The car ride here was silent, but not an uncomfortable silence. Aaron has been really sweet. Unfortunately, I feel I messed up the chance of him liking me. The embarrassment is still present, along with the self-hate that I'm feeling so strongly. Aaron leads me inside and insists on staying a while.

“I just want to make sure you're alright,” He says again.

“I understand… thanks,” I can’t help but feel awkward. Aaron is the only person who knows about my self-harm. He’s witnessed me in my most vulnerable state.

“I just want to say that I broke up with Grace,” I am speechless. “What she did was completely uncalled for, and I realized that my feelings for her changed.”

“You don’t have to justify your relationship with me.”

“But I do. I don’t want you to think that that kiss didn’t mean anything. I don’t want you to think that I'm leading you on because I'm not. Bryce, I really care about you,” He stops so abruptly that I wait for him to continue. When he doesn’t I feel like I should speak, but I am at a loss for words. Without warning he kisses me. It’s so gentle, while so passionate. His hands move from my cheeks down to my waist, pulling me closer. The kiss deepens, and he closes the gap between our bodies. I’ve never been kissed by alone else, let alone with so much passion. My hands grasp the back of his neck and play with the ends of his thick hair. It seems as if time has stopped. For a moment I forget that under my sleeves are bandages wrapped around my wounds. I forget that Grace and her friends have been so mean to me for the past few years. My father’s alcoholism and the cruel note have vanished from my mind. I am completely infatuated by Aaron’s soft touch.  

“I feel like I’ve known you forever,” Aaron speaks against my lips sending shivers down my spine. I still cannot seem to find the right words, so I just respond by intensifying the kiss. His tongue asks for entrance against my bottom lip. I happily oblige. The warmth from his hands against the small of my back warms my entire body. The heat between us seems to ignite our kiss. I feel so secure in his arms like this. Part of me is skeptical of his kind words. He may only be saying that because he knows I'm hurt. However, I want to believe that he was being honest. And I want to believe that this moment isn’t out of pity.

*

The chicken soup that Aaron made for me before he left sits between my fragile fingers. My mind is spinning from the kiss still. My body shivers from the lack of his body pressed against mine. Aaron left me his number in case I needed him. He told me to call him anytime. He really is so sweet. It surprises me that a boy that genuine had dated someone as cold hearted as Grace for so long. Aaron and I had agreed to meet up after school. He went back to school, and said he’d bring home work for me. At about 1:00pm I decided to get ready. Aaron and I were going to meet up at the park in the center of town.

I shuffled through my closet looking for an outfit. I went with faded blue jeans and a dark purple sweater. I zipped up my black boots and grabbed a jacket before heading out the front door.

The air was crisp outside as I waited for Aaron. I settled on a park bench that over looked the lake. The calming silence was refreshing. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself as I watched the waves ripple on the water’s surface.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Aaron commented as he sat down next to me.

“Yeah, I used to come here a lot actually. When my dad was drunk or I just needed to get away I’d sit here and watch the sunset,” I let go a breath of relief. It was nice to get that off my chest. Aaron placed if hand on my thigh and immediately sent a shock of electricity through my body.    

“When I first found out my mother had cancer I came here to be alone. The peace and serenity is so calming,” His eyes connected with mine. It was truly comforting to know that we both shared this place during our time in need. A small smile crept to my lips, and for once I knew that it reached my eyes too.

It felt as if his hand was going to burn a hole through my jeans. The cold wind had no effect on the warmth from his large hands. The comfort his words brought me is indescribable. Sharing this special spot with him now and emotionally is nice. It's nice to know that he isn't perfect. That makes me feel less insecure about being around him. I feel like I don't belong with him, just in general. He's popular and I'm a total outcast.

I glance up at his and watch as his eyes graze over the small lake in front of us. He slightly squeezes my thigh and smirks while keeping his eyes on the water. I can't help but feel so comfortable around him. Somehow he's knocking down my walls that I've been building for so many years without even trying.   

The sudden chill of the wind sends shivers down my spine. Aaron and I both lean into each other from the cold whipping around us.

"This is nice," Aaron's voice is almost a whisper being swept away by the wind.

"Yeah, It's nice being here with you and talking," I am as honest as I can be without sounding desperate. Our conversation continues, and we end up talking about our parents.

I tell him about my dad's unending alcoholism. He talks about his mom's cancer, and how his dad left when he was young. I can relate to the feeling of not having a father figure. We both are supportive and comforting towards each other. There isn't a hint of pity in his voice, and neither in mine.

"Bryce," I look up at him with glossy eyes, "I'm glad I got to know you, the real you." He takes a deep breath before staring at me even more intensely, "You are so beautiful." I barely have time to react, but my cheeks are a glowing red. Before I can respond he slowly leans into me. His lips barely brush mine. His hot breath has a minty scent. His hands move to my waist, and pull me close to him. The heated kiss melts my heart instantly. His soft lips take control. A sweet kiss turns into passionate need. I crave his touch even more now that the kiss has deepened. Aaron's tongue asks to enter and I gladly oblige. My hands find a way to the back of his neck, gently playing with the ends of his hair. Both of us are out of breath by the time we pull away for air. Once the after shock of his lips on mine passes I snuggle into his chest. My own acts of affection surprise me, but they are welcomed by Aaron's arms wrapping around my fragile body.

Time passes and the sun sets. We both know that our time together has to end. A call from my mom indicates that our enjoyable afternoon together has to come to an end. We say our goodbyes and part our separate ways.

All the way home my heart still leaps at the thought of his name.