I'm Okay

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~Chloe~

It's over in less than a second and Max doesn't seem to have felt a thing. That's a good thing considering I dry heaved and cringed when the doctor pulled the device from her throat. She gasps for real air and coughs a bit, shifting around uncomfortably under the sheets. I continue to hold her hand, even though her grip has loosened greatly to the point where it feels like I'm holding a limp noodle.

"Maxo? Can you hear me?" I ask, watching her completely zoned out eyes focus on something in the corner of the room, "Max?".

The doctor continues to mill around the room, checking some of the beeping machines and turning them off. "I think that'll do it for today, ladies," he says, gathering up his things.

"So... How long is she going to be like this?", I ask, looking down at Max again and realizing that she's closed her eyes, but her breathing is still quick and labored like she can't get quite enough air.

The doctor looks down and checks his watch and something he wrote down earlier on his clipboard, "Well since I gave her a small dose, she should be coming out of it in less than an hour. She'll still be slightly loopy, but that's normal".

Just then, Max starts mumbling shit that I can't even understand, and I'm sitting right next to her. Her voice sounds oddly distorted and garbled, almost gravely. I turn to the doctor concerned, but he's already one step ahead of me.

"It's totally normal for her to sound a little... off for a while. She's been on the ventilator for almost a month so give her a little bit of time to get used to breathing on her own".

I nod and turn back to Max, who still has her eyes closed, but her breathing has slowed to a steady, natural rhythm. "Maxie... can you talk to me?".

She makes a sound in response. It's a cross between a whimper and a cry but... It's a response and I'm going to take it.

I sigh and look up at Doc Harvey again, eyes still full of worry.

"She's going to be fine, Chloe. I promise. If it makes you feel any better, I think you'll be able to go home soon".

"Really?" I ask.

He nods, "I don't see why not. So, if Max doesn't have a relapse you'll be able to go home by the end of the week. But you have to get her out of that bed, or I have no choice but to either send her home in a wheelchair or send her to physical therapy, which honestly is looking like something that has to happen".

I swallow hard, knowing and dreading Max's reaction to both, especially the wheelchair. "Well, me and Max will deal with that if that happens. and I think after today, she's going to a little more willing to comply with getting out of bed".

The doctor nods and moves to the door, "Well, I think think that just about wraps up my job here right now. I'll send a nurse in to check up on you two in an hour or so... take it easy till then, alright?".

I nod and give Max's hand a gentle squeeze, "Will do Doc,".

He smiles and waves us off before leaving the room.

The moment the door clicks closed, I hear Max let out longer, relieved sounding breath, almost like she was holding her breath.

I look at her with a raised eyebrow, "Max?".

She mumbles something, her voice sounding weak and thick with emotion. Her shaky grip on my hand begins to get tighter as she continues to tremble.

I turn to her again, concerned, "Max".

God, I can feel her shaking under my touch, poor thing is terrified.

Max bites her bottom lip to keep it from quivering as she looks up at me, her big blue eyes beginning to water at the edges, "C- Chloe...".

Hearing her mutter my name sends a warm, and almost electric feeling throughout my body, but said feeling quickly fades when Max begins crying. It's soft a first, a few tears, but after a few seconds, she completely disintegrates into loud, hard sobs.

I sit the dumbfounded for a moment.

One second she's sitting there fine as can be, then the next?

Holy shit.

I have no idea what to do or say if anything at all. I just sit there, awkwardly listening as she sobs into her hands, seeming so scared and alone even though I'm sitting right beside her.

"Max..." I whisper, leaning in closer and wrapping my arms loosely around her small, frail, trembling body. The moment my hug registers, Max's arms shoot out and embrace me so tight that she almost knocks the wind out of me. I just hold her back, as tightly as I can without hurting her, listening as she cries into my shirt. Max is absolutely terrified... I- I can feel her whole body is shaking.

"Max... I'm right here. It's okay, I'm okay," I say, wondering if she saw something happen to me.

She shakes her head and mumbles something into my shirt.

"Please, Max," I beg, "tell me what's wrong. You're hurting... I can tell, so, please... just tell me", I pull away for a second, wiping away tears of my own.

"I c- can't," Max mumbles again, wrapping her arms around herself when I don't resume the hug.

"That's bullshit, you can tell me anything, okay. I'm here for you, remember that,".

She looks up at me, eyes hazy and red from the drugs and from crying, and shakes her head.

"Max... , please. I- I don't like seeing you like this. You're hurting, I can see it, hell, I can feel it! Please, I'm begging you... tell me what's wrong," I say, my voice beginning to cloud with emotion.

Max lets out a small shaky sigh before taking short quick breaths, trying to calm herself. It takes a bit, but eventually, she wills herself to stop crying and all that's left are small hiccups and sniffles.

Once she's calm enough, I slip into the bed beside her, continuing our embrace. I can still feel her trembling, so I plant a few feather-light kisses on her cheek and jawline until she stops shaking.

Finally, Max looks up at me and mutters something that to anyone else would render them clueless, but to me, it makes perfect sense. I don't need to hear it twice to know what Max is so afraid of... It's actually pretty obvious and I feel like an idiot for not thinking of this sooner. Being here, all the needles and drugs, the bright lights and sterile feeling of the hospital... it reminds her of the 'Dark Room'.

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