The Calm Before The Storm

This is Us

I'm only using the first part of this song, so dismiss the rest :) ~Bender

~Max~

-December 20th-

The first time I hold my daughter, the first real time. The time without the crowds of sick and hurting people around us, the time it was just the three of us, alone for the first time in days, safe in the comfort of our own home... I feel something begin to stir deep within me. Whatever it is, it's so strong that it makes all the pain my body and mind have endured over the years feel like nothing more than a papercut. I smile down at Ellie, brushing my hand lightly over the top of her soft little head. "Hi, " I whisper shyly. Her eyes flutter open at the sound of her name. The pupils are colorless for now, but one one can only assume that they'll be the same color as Amelia, her birth mother. The baby fusses a bit so I begin rocking her gently in my arms. "You two seem to be getting along well," Chloe says as she tries to put together the crib she was supposed to build weeks ago. I nod absently and continue to hold the baby close to my heart, feeling her small fragile body relax. Warm tears roll down my cheeks and land on Ellie's soft pink blanket. I don't know why I'm crying... I just am. I look around the small room I'm sitting in, grinning at the brightly decorated walls covered with small woodland creatures and the massive pile of stuffed animals that sit in the corner of the room. The tears continue until I can't hold in a light sniffle, "*sniff*". Chloe's attention focuses on me. "Hey," She says, literally dropping everything and rushing to my side, "What's wrong?". I shrug and smile stupidly at her, "nothing's wrong... I'm just happy,". "But you're crying,". "These are happy tears," I reassure her, "I'm happy,". She smiles softly and gestures toward Ellie, "Can... can I hold her?". I nod and she hesitates to take the baby from my arms. "Hiya, kiddo,' Chloe mutters, "I'm your mama... well, one of your mama's,". My heart flutters when she says this. I am a mother... We are mothers. The tears continue. "You're going to do amazing things when you grow up... I can already tell. We love you with all our hearts, Ellie, and even though you can't understand us yet... I'm going to tell you this every day: You are loved and you always will be. You will never feel alone or abandoned and if you do, I'll walk to the edge of the world just to see you smile again. I'd do anything for you," Chloe pauses, choking on tears of her own, " I don't know what the future holds but I'll promise you something... I'll promise you both something... Whatever happens, whatever the world may throw at us, however, hard times may get... we will get through it... together... as a family... no matter what,". We both start to cry for no other reason than we can, and needless to say, Ellie joins in our cries too. "Aww, don't cry baby girl... don't cry," Chloe coos, using the pads of her thumbs to wipe away the baby tears. I smile and giggle to myself, enjoying seeing my wife show her soft side. I lean in and hold Chloe's head in my hands and kiss her forehead, "I love you so much, my love". She looks up at me, "And I love you more,". We continue to stare at each other, getting lost in one another's eyes until the baby's cries snap us back into reality. "I'll go finish the crib... maybe she's tired," Chloe says, handing me the baby. "Or hungry," I offer, slowly getting up and walking over to grab a bottle of formula I'd prepared a few hours earlier. Chloe eyes me closely, watching my every move. "You know you're limping again... right?" she asks. I nod and sigh a bit, "Yeah... I know,". Sometimes, in the winter, if the weather is relentlessly cold, my leg will start acting up, the one I injured in the car accident all those years ago. The limp itself never fully went away... but it seems to be slowly making itself more pronounced the older I get. When I retrieve the bottle, Ellie takes to it immediately and starts to suckle. "Hmm," I chuckle, "You're a hungry little baby aren't ya?". The warm feeling continues to stir in my chest. I smile warmly and start rocking Ellie slowly in my arms, humming softly.

'Your little hands wrapped around my finger

And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming

So I tuck you in and turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything's funny

You got nothing to regret

I'd give all I have honey

If you could stay like that

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you

Won't let no one break your heart

No one will desert you

Just try to never grow up

Never grow up'

The baby falls asleep in my arms within minutes, still suckling softly. I gently slide the bottle out of her mouth and set it aside, continuing to rock Ellie in my arms. "I guess she was tired," I tell Chloe, turning to find her staring at me again, "What?". "You have an amazing voice... you know that right?" she says. I blush, "So I'm told,". "No... seriously... you should be a singer or a voice actor... you're that good,". "And you're just fishing for compliments," I reply, walking over and giving my wife a peck on the cheek, "Now hurry up so we can go to bed,". Chloe's smile fades a bit. "Well... I was kinda thinking we could do something else,". I blush even more, "Seriously?". "You have a dirty mind Mrs. Price... I like the way you think, but that's not it... we need to talk," she says. "Oh... yeah...talk," I reply, a bit disappointed. So once Chloe finishes building the crib and we lay Ellie down for the night, we sit down in the living room. "So... what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" I ask. Chloe hesitates at first and sighs, "He wants to meet her,". "No!" I say, standing up abruptly, "It's been 3 days and now he wants to meet her?! He wasn't there when she was born and he isn't here now!". "Max, Ellie is his granddaughter and his first grandchild... I understand that you're still pissed at him but-". "You're goddamn right, I'm pissed!". "And you have every right to be... but Max, my love," Chloe says, standing up and taking my head in her hands, "He does love you and he wants to be there for you,". "No, he doesn't Chloe! Neither of my parents loved me... why do you think I even ended up at Blackwell? That's where they sent me during the divorce... my whole scholarship was a ruse! My dad paid the school to accept me... they didn't want me around causing any more problems for them... I'm the reason they separated in the first place!" I yell, pushing Chloe away. "Don't blame yourself for that, Max," She says, keeping her voice calm and low, "The split was bound to happen... we've known that since we were kids. Remember how they'd always fight?". "Yes! And what do you think that is, hmm? They were fighting about me, Chloe, me!" I say, gesturing towards myself, "I'm not supposed to even be alive... okay! I was a mistake... an accident. My parents never wanted a daughter...t-they didn't want me... they didn't...they told me that,". Suddenly I burst into tears, allowing myself to fall to my knees. Chloe falls with me and holds me in a tight embrace. "Y-you're the only person who has shown me genuine love and kindness... t-that's why I fell in love with you so fast, Chloe. You're the only person who felt the same way... y-you're,". "Stop, "Chloe says, cutting me off mid-sentence. "J-just... stop okay? I- I'm sorry if you feel like I'm forcing you into this... I'm not. You don't have to see him if you don't want to, I just.... *sigh*. I just want Ellie to know your side of the family... your dad was really the only one who talks to us anymore. I want to give her a good life,". "*sniff* and she will, we'll give her one, I promise... I promise," I cry. "I know we will, Max. I just...*sniff* I don't know... I think we should try seeing him again, but it doesn't matter what I think. It's your choice. It doesn't have to be today... we'll see him when you're ready... when we're ready. For now, this is all the family we need...This is us".