From since the first day of school I knew this was going to be a bad year. I walked in the school and didn't see any familiar faces. I had the feeling that I was going to be a loner. Who the fuck wants to be my friend anyway? I didn't consider myself friendly because all the friends I had in middle school would say I looked mean, or like I have a bad attitude. It's just my face. I can't fix it.
Anyway, I walked into the school and I was just amazed. So many people already knew each other and I was just there. I had a friend who was supposed to be going there but she was no where to be found. But after standing in one spot for a while I got tapped on the shoulder. It was my friend, Bryan. I felt so much relief because I knew I wouldn't be by myself everyday, like who would want to be in high school all alone.. Shit sucks.
Brian and I went in the lunchroom so that we could get our schedules. And it turned out that we had 2 periods , and lunch together which meant I could be with my nigga everyday. We went to class and of course we sat next to each other being that I was the only one he knew in the class... I sat there quietly the whole period and everybody was just interacting. It's not that I was shy, I just didn't like their vibes. Brian asked me how am I gonna make friends if I don't talk to nobody, but I didn't really care cause he was my friend. When lunch came it was fucking horrible because it was so many people in one room. And I only knew one person and it was almost impossible to find him. But after like 3 minutes of searching we saw each other and got a seat. 3 periods have passed and he said he made a many friends and I still only had him... I knew I couldn't live off his presence everyday because when he doesn't show up what am I going to do? So I just sat there quietly. And went through all the classes until it was time to go home. The best part about being in a new grade is the first 2 days you don't have to do any work. All they do is talk. Which means all I have to do is listen.
Day 2, it was the same thing. I didn't really want to be friends with anybody but then I knew I had to make friends some how because I'd be the only loner. Everyone in my English class had already known each other and I was confused on how because it was only the second day. Shit like this made me realize that I'm fucking slacking. After we was released from school. Brian and I were walking to the train and one of his friends came up to him and invited him to the beach and he said sure. I saw his friend a few times because I have 3 classes with her. Her name was Mya. So me seeing how she was as a person I gained some courage to say something..
Me: " I wanna go "
Mya: " you could come too Alex! "
How did she even know my name? It caught me off guard. But I didn't go. I just came up with an excuse that my mom was taking me somewhere after.. and they went. I went home annoyed by how shitty this year was gonna be so I went straight to sleep. Because I lived an hour away from school I had to wake up at 5. To get ready by 6 , to leave by 6:30 to get to school by 8. And for the first few weeks it didn't go so well..
The next day I went to school regularly. With the shitty MTA service. And I had a feeling today was gonna be worse. My first period was math. Algebra 1. I came late so I had to deal with the awkward starring from everyone just because I was late.. I heard someone go
" Alex...Alex...ALEX " but I just ignored it. Again, spent my entire day with Brian and I watched him have conversations with his friend while I sat there looking at them like they're fake as shit.. But I stayed quiet because I didn't want to be problematic so I just went on with my day. Even though it was a Friday I still was annoyed by everything and everybody. I missed my middle school friends. I actually made friends easily and i was cool with everybody! I didnt think it would be this hard but it was.
After a while I thought it was just me.. Like I'm unlikeable 😳. So Monday I was officially gonna make friends and that I did.
Mya. Became my friend
