Warm Ice

Live for Me

Trigger Warning!! Blood, depression, death etc. It can get pretty graphic, so trigger warning

Zarya's eyes scanned the surroundings as she was 'guided' by the rambling girl in front of her, Zarya's attention focused on anything other than Mei. She didn't trust anyone that trusted omnics, especially one who would speak up and protect one. Zarya let her head hang back as she yawned loudly with absolutely no shame, earning her a glare from the tiny girl. "Are you even listening to me?" She huffed, making Zarya shake her head no in pure honesty. "Of course not, why would you.." Mei grumbled, starting to walk faster, but still was quite slow compared to Zarya's massive strides.

From the corner of her eye, Zarya noticed a familiar large body, causing her to turn her head to look in the general direction. Immediately a large smile crossed her lips as she realized who it was. "Reinhardt!" She called as she strayed away from Mei and walked to her old friend, capturing him in a big bear hug.

"Oh! Zarya! My old friend, how might you be?" Reinhardt boomed, his loud voice and laugh echoing throughout the room. Zarya could feel a tug on her arm, but she chose to ignore it, knowing it would be Mei trying to bring her back.

Pulling her arm away, Zarya laughed and replied, "I am fantastic, old dog! How have you been?"

"Ah, this old dog still has a few tricks!" Reinhardt grinned, jabbing at Zarya's stomach with his elbow.

"Ahem! Zarya!" Mei huffed, making Zarya turn around and glare at the small girl.

"Listen. I do not need someone to babysit me, much less someone I could crush. Go tell Winston that I'm fine. I do not wish to be followed by you or anyone else."

"I'm sorry, but last time I checked you attacked one of our allies! I don't care what you think, you should be thankful I decided to even let you stay! Winston wanted to send you back!" Mei snapped, a quite angry look on her face.

"Attack? Zarya, what did you do?" Reinhardt asked worriedly.

"I saw the omic. I did what I would any other Russian would do." Zarya growled, glaring down at Mei, practically sending daggers at her.

"Zarya! Zenyatta is a friend. He has done no wrong!" Reinhardt insisted, only fueling to Zarya's fury. She couldn't take it. No one understood anything, no one knew more than their own body. No one could even imagine what Zarya had been through.

Zarya shook her head and shoved past Reinhardt and Mei, having no wish to deal with them. She wanted out. She needed to breathe, she couldn't breathe in this toxic air. Was she that useless that she couldn't even tell friend from foe?

"Zarya! Wait!" Mei called out from behind her, making Zarya run faster. Zarya didn't know where she was going, nor did she care. She pushed through rusty doors, wincing as the sound they made reminded her of the squeaks the bots made as they mowed.. No, Zarya couldn't think of that, she knew that it would only make her more of a mess. But she couldn't help but imagine the site of blonde hair flying in the air as scraps of clothes and blood scattered the ground. Zarya froze in her spot, her arms flying to her ears as she clawed at them, trying to erase the sounds that replayed over and over in her head. "No! No! No!" Zarya screamed, dropping to her knees before leaning down, beginning to sob into her knees.

The image of her girlfriend, the one she was planning on proposing to once she got back from her competition, being murdered by the omnics tortured her as Zarya began to dry heave, the wave of emotions and the disgust of seeing her body mutilated making her stomach hurt. She remembered her girlfriend's hand lying near her foot, only adding to the pain Zarya felt. She wasn't fast enough. She couldn't save her own girlfriend!

Zarya vomited on the ground before her, tears mixing with the bitter taste. She heard yelling around her, but the words weren't audible. She felt hands on her shoulders that tried to pull her back, but Zarya pushed them off, scrambling to her feet as she whipped her head around. Zarya's eyes fluttered down to Mei's whose were full of terror and worry. Zarya couldn't do this, she couldn't be here, she didn't deserve to live! "Kill me, please! Please, end my misery! I can't do this! I couldn't save her! I couldn't save you, Vera!" Zarya yelled, gripping onto Mei's arms as she shook her.

Eyes wide in fear, Mei shook her head no, "Zarya! Please, no, no, no! Look at me, look at me, please. Don't say that, please! It doesn't matter now, look at me! What ever happened happened, it doesn't matter now. If you die you can't make up for what happened, okay? You have to live, Zarya. You have to, don't ask me to kill you! What would that fix?"

Zarya shook her head, barely able to meet Mei's eyes. "I can't make up for anything. She's dead, the love of my life, my world, my life, my everything! And those omnics you want to protect killed her!"

Mei reached up and put her hands on either side of Zarya's face, forcing her to look at her. "Zarya, listen to me. I know you're scared, I know you're sad, I know you miss her, but dwelling on it won't fix anything. It won't. You can make up for it. I don't know what she was like, but I know she cared about you. So she would want you to live, I promise you. I know it's hard. I lost my entire life too, but I am here, trying to live for them. I'm going to live for them, that's what you need to do for them. Please?"

Zarya's entire body softened at Mei's plea as she bit her lip to hold back a sob. She relaxed against Mei's hands, lowering her head to the small girl's shoulder. She said nothing, though she was sure Mei knew her reply.