G.U.T.S (AJ x Kid AU)

15

//-15-//

*unedited

Life had never felt so bland. Before meeting Aj, I slept through the day as if it had meant nothing. I slept through each day without second thought. He kept me on my toes. He kept me interested in what the next day would bring. Every moment I had, I spent thinking of him. I still do.

Maybe I love him. It hurts to love someone, especially when you can't see them. I haven't been to school in a week. I've been rehearsing in my head over and over how I'm going to tell Aj I want nothing to do with him. How am I going to tell him he leans nothing to me? How am I going to get him to hate me so he'll stay away?

Maybe I'm being selfish by letting him go. I'm only doing it to prevent myself from getting beat up, that's selfish, right? I'm selfish. I shouldn't let him go for my own benefits. I should hold on to him because I might love him.

Without Aj, I can't even sleep anymore. All I can do is lie awake and think of everything that's going to happen to me just because I like someone.

Why does Lacey care so much anyway!? Why does she care that a gay boy likes another gay boy? Aren't I allowed to like Aj? Aren't I allowed to want to be with him? It's already been established that we like each other. We know we like each other, we just don't want to admit it.

Aj could do better than me anyway. Maybe this is for the better. Maybe he does like girls and maybe he'll fall in love with Lacey and lead a happy life with her. Maybe he'll be better off without me. I can't keep running from him, though. Him or Lacey. I can't keep running from either of them I have to face them. Both of them. I have to tell Aj I want nothing to do with him anymore and I have to tell Lacey she's his.

Would it be selfish of me to give up on him so easily, though? Would it be selfish of me if I gave up on a dream so big to protect myself? Is it right of me to risk my relationship and my happiness so that I can avoid getting beat up by some jocks and a girl hardly my height? Lacey is a petty girl. Maybe if I told Aj what's happening, he'd help me put an end to it. Maybe if I just tell him the truth, everything will be okay again and I can still be happy. Maybe if I tell him, we'll finally admit how we feel about each other and be together without Lacey or anyone else threatening our relationship? I love Aj in a friend kind of way and I know I'm starting to love him as more than that. I want to he with him so badly. I want to love him and I want him to love me. I want him to be a part of my future. I want him.

If Aj is my dream, I shouldn't give up on my dream. I should pursue Aj. It's so much more easily said than done, though. Is he risk really worth it? What am I saying, of course Aj is worth it. Aj is worth everything and I'll always put him before someone as petty as Lacey and her stupid jock friends.

I should talk to Aj. I shouldn't let him go. After all, I really do like him. A lot. I always have and I think I always will. I'll never get over Aj. Ever.

-

I trudge into my third period classroom, knowing I arrived late. I turn my late slip over to the teacher and look around the classroom. I settle into the empty seat in the back next to Lacey. She smirks at me.

"Finally decided to show up, huh?" she asks in a mock tone. I roll my eyes at her.

"Yeah, to tell you this; I'm not giving up on Aj. I'm not staying away from him for you." I say. "He doesn't want you, Lacey. He is never going to want you, he likes boys."

"Shut up." she says through gritted teeth. "You don't know anything. I'll win him over, we've been hanging out all week without you in the way. Aj will never like you, Kid. He'll never love you. You're nothing to him or to anybody and I am everything."

I laugh bitterly.

"I don't believe that." I say. It was a lie. I do believe it. I know that I'm nothing. I know I mean nothing to anyone, not even my own parents. I know that I'll probably never be anything more to Aj than a friend.

His words ring through my head of when he defended me against Lacey. "Besides," he has said "I like someone else, anyway."

The bell rings, as if on que, and I make my way toward the door. I push past anyone in my way, trying my hardest to hold back tears. I jog through the crowd, pushing past others. My face slams into something hard and I start to fall backwards. Someone grabs me around my waist and pulls me into them. I look up to meet a pair of gorgeous, sparkling blue eyes glazed with worry. Aj.

"Kid," he breathes. I breathe in a sharp intake of breath.

"Aj," I manage. He pulls me up and tangles my legs around his waist. I throw my arms around his shoulders. Aj's lips crash into mine with a burst of passion. I stare at his eyes in shock for a moment, seeing the students stopping and staring. I relax into the kiss and kiss him back. He tangles his fingers in my hair, eliminating any possibility of my pulling away on my own.

I pull his closer to me, almost desperately. I feel cold tears drip down my cheeks and ignore them. Aj pulls away and looks at me.

"Kid, I think I love you." he says, then shaking his head. "I mean, I think I'm in love with you."

"I love you, too, Aj." I say. He smiles and kisses me again. Students around us ooo and aaa as Aj lets me down. I blush bright crimson and bite down on my lip. Everyone, including Aj and I continue walking to our classes. A feminine voice stops me.

"Well, well, well. That was quite the show you put on, Kitty." Lacey says. She glares daggers at me, pure hatred burning through me.

"I-"

"You have no idea who you're messing with, Kid. I'm going to ruin you and any chance you ever have with Aj. Have fun sleeping tonight. If you even can." she laughs bitterly and sashays off, tossing a middle finger into the air at me.

Shit.

>>>·<<<

Sorry for the late update dudes. Workin on it.

Anywhore, I tried to make up for it with some good ol' passionate make-out. If that didn't make up for it, I'm deeply sorry.

I'm gonna try to stretch out to at least 18 chapters but if I can I'll try to make it to 20. 20 is my goal but the way things are goin I think there's only about 2 or 3 chapters left.

stay gold,
-con, xx