Cinnamon. {Joshler}

Lovely Green

WARNINGS FOR: Slight Homophobia i think thats it though

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I woke up early, the glow of the sun's rays streaming in through my window. I looked down at the sleeping boy and smiled, nuzzling the mop of brown hair on his head softly, so as not to wake him. Tyler shifted a little, moving so his face was nestled in my neck. I just laid there for a while, almost falling back asleep from the sheer warmth and comfort I felt from his body pressed against mine. I was about to close my eyes once more when I heard my door open, my mother stepping in loudly. "Josh, Did Ty-" Her silence was deafening, and I was frozen. Tyler stirred a bit at the sudden tightness in my muscles, but I just smashed him closer to me, hoping he wouldn't move wrong or say something. He could physically feel the anger radiating off of his mother in waves. "Joshua William Dun! Get downstairs!" She shouted, seething with anger and startling Tyler awake. I shoved my hand over his mouth when he went to speak, making sure my mother was gone before I pulled my hand away and spoke. "Ty, we're fucked."

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I sat down on the yellow couch in my living room, Tyler sitting next to me, wearing a soft green sweater that had the word 'Nice' written on it in white block letters. He was shaking, and I grabbed his hand. I myself had on another tank top with the sides cut out, and was waiting for my mother to come downstairs. It felt like forever, and there was lots of banging coming from above us, each sound scaring Tyler more. Eventually she did come down, though, and what I saw in her eyes almost broke my heart.

"What the fuck is going on here?!" She demanded, her arms gesturing at Tyler and I. I gulped, replying softly. "Mom, I'm gay." That sent her into a spiral, yelling about how God says gay is not okay and how I'm apparently going to hell because I like dick. Tyler shook harder, and when I looked over I saw tears streaming down his cheeks. Over all the yelling I almost missed it, Tyler was so quiet I just about read his lips. "I'm sorry." And it was over. I was so angry that my mother made Tyler this scared, this afraid of what was going to happen. So I stood up.

My movements were like clockwork. They happened before I knew what was going on and when I realized what I had done I just kept on going. I had backed my mother into the wall, words tumbling out of my mouth faster than I could contain them. "I love Tyler. I don't care how the fuck that makes you feel, because it's not like you're gonna go to Hell for my actions. And you making Tyler cry because you think you are so much better than everyone else is bullshit. I won't stand for it." I huffed out a breath, and she was silent for a long time. When she spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "Okay. You're right." My eyes almost bugged out of my head. I obviously wasn't expecting her to tell me I was right, but I was more than willing to take it. I turned, grabbing Tyler's hand and pulling him towards the door. "I'll be back later, I'm taking Tyler home."

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Tyler and I walked through the school that Monday, our hands locked together as we walked towards the cafeteria. I smiled at Tyler before we opened the grey doors, walking towards the table we always sat at. Debby was sitting there already, twirling a strand of her hair as she laughed at something on her phone. Her eyes lit up when she saw the two of us approaching, and practically squealed as we sat down. "Guys, you won't believe what happened. Cole asked me out!" The auburn haired girl all but shouted. I smiled at her brightly. "Awesome!" Cole was this guy Debby had been talking to for awhile. He had blonde hair that was always styled to the side, kind of a mix between surfer's hair and Justin Bieber. He also had brown eyes and a jawline 'for days' as Debby liked to describe it.

"Oh, are you two finally together?" She questioned, acknowledging that Tyler and I still hand our hands linked together in almost a death grip. "Uh.. Y-yeah." Tyler stuttered, and I smiled at the shy boy next to me. Debby chuckled, jumping up all of a sudden. "Ashley owes me ten bucks!~" She sang, running out of the cafeteria. I blinked as I realied she had bet on us, and Tyler started laughing next to me, really hard. Like, he almost fell out of his chair. He steadied himself, before looking back at me. "Actually same." He said and I made a face. "Don't same." Tyler nodded in agreement. "Yeah no more same-ing."

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I grabbed my bag off the floor, pulling out a sheet of paper before handing it to Tyler, a blush evident on my cheeks. "I, uh, wrote this for you. I hope you like it." Tyler looked at the slightly crumpled piece of paper, inspecting what it read. It was only a couple of lines, but it made Tyler tear up nonetheless:

I'll pray that one day you see

The only difference between life and dying

Is one is trying, that's all we're going to do

So try to love me and I'll try to save you.

Won't you stay alive

I'll take you on a ride

I will make you believe you are lovely.

He grabbed me after he read it, pulling me in towards him. I wrapped my arms protectively around the smaller boy, inhaling the cinnamon scent and practically drowning in comfort. "I l-love you." Tyler stuttered out, and it was then that I realized he was crying. I kissed his forehead and pulled him back, kissing his lips softly. "I love you too." I said, wiping his tears. He looked up at me, wiping his nose and smiling.

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