Half A Heart

Chapter 42

Despite waking up to the blissful memories shared between Hail and I from last night, I couldn't seem to shake the awful feeling inside me because of the argument that occurred between my parents and I. I felt guilty even though I truly believed I hadn't done anything wrong. I felt this way because I hated the idea of disappointing my parents in any way. From a young age I strived very hard to be the best that I could be and to make my parents proud. Unfortunately things had become a little crazy last night and seemed to get out of hand which is why this morning I made the decision to apologise for my behaviour as soon as they came home from work.

I anxiously waited all day for their arrival when finally at just after 5pm they made their presence be known. I didn't hear the call of their voice as I usually would have but rather the closing of the front door.

"Hi..." I cautiously stumble out while watching my mother and father make their way further inside the house.

"Hi dear, how was your day?" My mother asks me with what appears to be a neutral expression.

"Fine, how was yours and dads?" I reply whilst nervously fidgeting with my hands.

"Tiring but practical, the usual I suppose." She answers me.

I continue to watch her and my father make their way into the kitchen to pour themselves a drink while I awkwardly shuffle between them, trying to find the right words to express my sorrow. The reason why I struggled so much was because arguing with my parents was highly unlikely and what occurred last night was not exactly common for our household. It had always been just us three so we made the most of it and more often than not enjoyed smiles and laughs together not harsh words and misunderstandings.

"Um...I actually wanted to apologise." I unsurely begin to say.

"What exactly for?" My father speaks for the first time since arriving home, narrowing his gaze on me.

"For the way I spoke to you both yesterday. It was unfair of me to get so angry over something so trivial such as letting you know that I was heading out. I'm sorry for the way I acted but..." I paused, unsure how to word the next sentence.

"But what honey?" My mother probed.

"But...I just wanted the chance to go out without having to feel the need to tell you both everything. I only wanted a small taste of freedom and I know you're probably thinking what on earth has gotten into me because I would have never suggested anything like this in the past but...things have changed...I've changed." I tell them with a sigh.

It had only just struck me now that in a matter of a few months I had become a changed person. Of course it wasn't a monumental change, but when you've grown up and lived a pretty sheltered life such as my own even experiencing the smallest of things have somehow helped open my eyes and change my perspective on certain things in life. Things that didn't seem to matter before do now and it's exciting to think of the future now and what it potentially holds instead of viewing it as a bleak chore, consisting of nothing but study and work.

"Ava, your mother and I love you dearly and have always wanted to try and give you everything, especially a good start in life, so try and understand that everything we do is because we're looking out for you and your best interests here. As far as I'm concerned, I can't say I'm too thrilled to hear you admit such a thing about the kind of person you now say you are but as a father it doesn't appear that there is much that I can do about it that will change your mind. All I can hope for is that you'll continue to respect, care and love your mother and I as we do you." Spoke my father with bleak honesty.

Before I knew it, I felt tears brim my eyes. I hadn't anticipated that I would become so emotional over hearing such words leave my fathers mouth. I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing, but what I did know was that it made me incredibly sad to think my parents no longer thought I was the same person either. Had I completely betrayed their trust to the point that they had to question my love for them? Surely not, but apparently it seemed so. I wiped away my ugly tears before trying my best to explain myself.

"Dad...mum...I'm so sorry if I haven't come across as loving or caring in the past few months. I honestly didn't even realise that I..." I broke off suddenly feeling overwhelmed with emotions and hot tears.

Thankfully, my mother stepped in and said something I really needed to hear.

"Sweetheart, your father and I know you love us just as much as we love you, that much is evident." She began with a hopeful smile before continuing.

"We just wish you would include us in your life again because as of recently it hasn't seemed that you have. I mean apart from the masquerade ball and meeting Lucas the following day, we haven't really got any idea as to whom you spend all your time with, what you're doing and to be frank if you're safe or not. We just care so much about you Ava and would quite literally die if anything were to ever happen to you. We love you." Finished my mother with a gentle look in her eyes.

I practically ran over to her and continued to sob in her arms and soon after felt the warm arms of my father wrap around my body also. I couldn't remember the last time the three of us shared a group hug as such but there was no denying the love we all felt.

~

As a way of putting the past behind us, my mother suggested the three of us share a lovely meal out on the town. It had been a while since the three of us had enjoyed some quality time together like this so I guess you could say I was looking forward to it. The restaurant itself was situated alongside the pier and was elegantly decorated. Candles were placed in the centre of every table while the tables were lined with white silken tablecloths. I suppose it was a rather elaborate place to have dinner but it proved to me that my mother and father really wanted to try and fix things with me and start fresh, something I felt very grateful for.

"What looks good?" Chirped my mother while reading through her menu. 

"Everything!" Announced my father, to which we all laughed in agreement.

"I actually think I'm ready to order." I smiled at them while ushering over one of the waiters who was standing close by.

I ended up ordering the herb crusted lamb, which was served with a lovely green pea purée and baked potato chips. My mother on the other hand ordered the steamed salmon with salad while my father ordered the rib eye steak with asparagus and celeriac mash. It didn't take any of us long before tucking right in and enjoying our deliciously prepared meals.

I saw my father suddenly stop eating half way through our meal and raise his wine glass in the air. He gestured that my mother and I follow his lead and so we did, whilst awaiting his next few words.

"I wanted to make a toast this evening to express my deepest gratitude towards my beautiful daughter and the most perfect wife any man could ever dream of having. You both are the only two women I'll ever need in my life, apart from my mother of course, who I will continue to cherish. You both make me so incredibly proud and I couldn't be happier than sitting here tonight, sharing a meal with you both. I love you dearly Lydia and Ava. Cheers." Spoke my father, before clinking his glass with my mothers and mine and drinking the fruity goodness from our red wines.

I watched as my mother brushed away a loose tear before gently caressing my fathers shoulder in appreciation for his kind and generous words.

"That was simply beautiful David, thank you." She said before leaning over to give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

My parents interaction between one another made me smile. It was a wonderful thing to see two people still so in love even decades after their initial meeting. It gave me hope that true love still existed and that one day hopefully I would be lucky enough to experience the beauty of marriage myself. Of course, I was already in love with two different men who couldn't be more opposite, despite being brothers, but in a small way I felt that my love for them was different also. Different in the way I cared for each of them. Different in the way I expressed it to each of them. And different in the way I felt for each of them. The love was still very much there for both but evidently experienced on different levels. Before I became too consumed in my thoughts however I warmly smiled back at my parents before voicing my own appreciation for them.

"I love you both so much and I couldn't be prouder to have such understanding and loving parents. Thank you mum and dad." I said with uttermost sincerity and what I hoped was a beaming smile.