Family Counts (Joe Reagan's Daughter/Blue Bloods fanfic)

Ch5: His Final Goodbye

Elsie's POV

"So who's going to say grace." Pop questioned. We sat around the dinner table for Sunday dinner. Only Uncle Danny and Aunt Linda knew about the tape so far. "I've not said prayer since I got back ." I spoke up. We all take turns and I hadn't don the honours yet. We bowed our heads and clasped our hands together. "Thank you, Lord for the food on this table and for the people we cherish dear and bless them as they eat your meal. Amen." We dug into the delicious meal. It was Grandma's famous roast ham but there was something missing that we could never find. It may be a secret ingredient or maybe just how she cooked it but now, I guess we'll never know. "So Erin, I heard you were having a rough day in the office." Grandpa started the conversation but it wasn't a question, it was a statement. "Yeah well, the defendant has a speciality for crawling out of holes. I had concrete evidence that he was the one that robbed the jewellery shop but he claims that he bought the same bracelet for his mother from a pawn shop using cash and of course, no cameras caught him their but his mother won't give him up." Aunt Erin ranted. "But surely the mother isn't that thick to believe her son blindly? He has a history of theft charges." Uncle Danny was irritated. "I know but you know what mothers are like, their protective of their children. As far as the judge is concerned, it's my word against his." I thought of what she said about mothers and started stabbing my meat with my fork, no longer hungry. "Must be nice to have a mother who would do that for you." I muttered under my breath but it peaked their interest. "What was that, Elsie?" Aunt Erin asked me, a look of confusion on her face. "Nothing." I spoke up a bit but didn't look at them.

They talked a bit more about work and stuff. Uncle Jamie's Sargent had sent his condolences, I met him once or twice when Daddy took me to work when I was small or Mommy and I popped in to give him lunch. He liked my dad and spoke very highly of him. They noticed I was very quiet so Nicki asked, "So Elsie, how was your day?" "It was okay..." I was quiet in answering and didn't look up. "You were much cheerier this morning, what's up?" Pops questioned, suspiciously. He knew I was hurting but I usually hid that behind my energetic demeanour, that was gone now. "It's nothing, Pops..." I didn't perk up and they began to get a bit worried. Uncle Jamie, who sat next to me, looked at me with concern and asked, "Monkey, what's bothering you?" He always knew how to crack me. I stopped playing with my food, fists clenched and I felt my throat hurting and clenching as I held back the tears as I stared at my plate. I opened my mouth to speak but the words were stuck, "I-I..." Uncle Danny stepped in, looking pretty irritated himself, "Sophie hid a tape Joe left for us. Elsie found it earlier when going through her Mom's things." I gulped as my throat was dry. Uncle Jamie put an arm around my side and pulled me into a side hug which helped me calm down slightly. "I you want, we can watch it after dinner? His words deserve to me heard." Aunt Linda asked around the quiet table and we all silently agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The old VCR was set up and ready to go. We all sat around the sunroom and I was a bit nervous to what he was going to say, not that I had a reason go be. Aunt Erin inserted the tape with a shaky hand and in seconds, I saw the man I missed so dearly staring back at me through the television. "Hey um, I really hope that this video will never be played but uh... If you're watching this, I guess that means I'm... No longer with you..." My father was having difficulty saying this, he kept pausing and liking his lips. "Firstly, I just want to say I am so sorry. I wish I could see you all again but I'm going to a better place and I know that some day, you will join me their but hopefully not for a long time." His voice prove at the thought before continuing, "Firstly, to Dad and Grandpa. Thank you for supporting me and raising me. If it hadn't been for you two, I wouldn't be the man I am today. I hope I made you proud of me... It's all I really wanted. I know that Grandma and Mom would be proud of you." Grandpa looked at his son with so much emotion, he didn't have to say it, he was proud of him and so was Pops. "To my big bro, Danny. As much as I hated to admit it, I looked up to you so much when we were young and I cherish the memories of the stunts we got into and some things that I probably shouldn't mention since everyone's probably watching this." Both Dad on the screen and Uncle Danny gave a weak chuckle as they reminisce. "I trust you Danny, that's why if anything happens to Sophie, I want you and Linda to take care of Elsie for me. She means everything to me so please look after her." My heart ached as he spoke so fondly of me.

I missed his voice, I missed his kind hazel eyes like my own, I missed him calling me 'baby girl', I wanted him to come back but this was the last time I would ever hear his voice again. "To Sissy, Erin. You don't need a jackass like Jack. You are the strongest and toughest woman I have ever met. Thanks for always being their for me as I was for you and don't let Danny get on your nerves because he and I are more protective over you than you'll ever know." Aunt Erin tilted her head up in a failed attempt to stop the tears flowing. "Jamie, I just want you to know how proud I am of you. I'm proud that my kid brother got into Harvard, never mind Danny's teasing, and I'm happy for you and Sydney. I'm... I'm sorry I wont be there for you when times get tough and... that I won't be able to be your best man..." Dad's voice was strained at the thought and uncle Jamie looked at the ground. I felt terrible, I only found out the wedding was cancelled once I got back. "Jamie... Do something with your life that will make you happy. It may sound cheesy but all I want from you is for you to be happy, okay?" He made the smallest of nods, as if my dad could see him. "Jack, Sean and Nicky, I'm sorry I can't watch you grow up but I know you can do amazing things and be good for your parents because the love you very much and would do anything for you." Jack and Sean looked saddened and Nicky was silently sobbing. She had always been close with Daddy.

"And finally, my little angel, Elsie. I know you may not understand why I had to go so soon but I believe God has a plan for everyone and I guess I was needed up there. I'm sorry I won't be there to see you grow, I won't see your first day of high school, I won't watch you graduate... I won't walk you down the ilse..." He had to pause as he couldn't handle the thought of missing my life and my own vision began to blur, "But just know, I will always be by your side, even if you can't see me, I will always be watching over you. And Elsie, don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. You can do anything you set your mind too- well, within reason that is. No drinking, drugs or boys, got it?" A teary chuckle escaped my lips at his over-protectiveness. "And most importantly, you will always be my baby girl. I love you so much, Elsie." I couldn't help but whisper a shaky, "Love you too, Daddy."

"Okay, I don't want to leave you on a sad note so I'll just say this. I am happy with my life, and if I do die, I died happy because I have no regrets. Thanks for being the best family I could ever ask for and know that I am going to a better place with Mom and Grandma. I believe we will see each other again so I wont say goodbye... I'll just say, See you later." and with that, he gave a teary smile before the camera went black. Tears poured down my face but they weren't sad, they were happy. I was happy that my dad died in peace and he was going to a better place. All I ever wanted, was for him to be happy.

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry if this is too different from the original but WattPad messed up and cut it off half way for some reason. This has happened before with other stories but I wasn't able to revive it because the save was forgotten. I'm actually kinda sad about it because I was proud of this chapter but I hope I managed to remember it enough. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and I'll see ya in the next chapter :3