Out of Darkness

Family is a Choice

I've been standing out here for twenty minutes. I need to see Sang for myself, need to be able to talk to her and protect her, but I know that my temper is currently on a hair trigger. Silas' words before he left keep echoing in my mind. You are not your father. He knows me too well.

Fuck! Maybe this is a bad idea. I should have gone with Luke as backup...maybe I would have gotten a chance to punch that shithead dad of hers. Maybe more than punch him.

No. Luke's got it covered. I've never seen my brother so focused. I'd never tell him this, but I really hope he's back to his shenanigans soon. I lean my head against the wall, trying to get my shit together. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Mr. Blackbourne standing next to me.

"Mr. Taylor, I need to apologize for my part in this morning's...disruptions."

I let out a snort, and shake my head. I looked him over critically. You'd never know that he was in a fistfight if you weren't looking closely. His glasses were just slightly crooked from where they had broken, and his knuckles were slightly red from when he fucking got me in the eye. Doc had gotten ice on me fast enough to keep it from swelling up, but Gabe had to put some goddamned concealer on me so that I wouldn't send everyone running. Apparently I'm 'scary as fuck' with a shiner. Disruptions. Right.

"Yeah, me too." I rub my hand over my face trying to wipe away the last day. I need to shave and to sleep a week at least.

"I know that I'm not always the most reasonable, Mr. B, but this morning was a total fucking nightmare."

He nodded. "Mr. Taylor, I understand the source of your loss of control earlier, as I was suffering from the same lapse in judgement. Miss Sorensen's situation is abominable, and we need to remember that in order to help her, we must rise above our internal Neanderthal selves. Am I wrong in assuming that you've had enough time to pull yourself together?" He turned to Sang's room, opening the door and asked, "Are you coming in?"

The look on his face did more to bolster my confidence than any pep talk I could have given myself. He believed in me. I could do this. You are not your father.

I walked in ahead of him, grateful for his steadying presence and approached the bed where Kota and Sang were holding hands and laughing. My heart stuttered at the glorious sound and I was rendered speechless. Luckily, Mr. Blackbourne wasn't as tongue tied as myself.

"Miss Sorensen, what has you two so very amused?" He did that fucking one eyebrow thing that makes you tell him every damn thing he asks.

Sang Baby blushed a beautiful scarlet and bit her bottom lip. Oh god, what I wanted to do to that lip! Kota looked at her, and noticing her embarrassment, he spoke up.

"We were sharing our love," he smiled and I just about had a fucking heart attack at his words before he went on, "of books."

I let out an exhale and Sang looked up at me with a small smile that melted me like one of Luke's damn chocolates in the sunlight. Of course, books. The only other thing I've seen put that look on his face is when he gets to talk science with someone who can actually understand what the hell he's talking about. All of us can hold our own on an intellectual level, but Kota's brain is off the charts.

"Hi North," I tried to rearrange my face into something less scary than my usual scowl, "do you like to read too?"

For you, Baby, I'd read the entire fucking Library of Congress.

"Yeah, he does, but he likes crime thrillers," Kota said.

I shot him a glare, "I can fucking answer for myself!" Shit. It hasn't even been five minutes and I'm shouting. I looked at her and was relieved that she wasn't pulling away like earlier.

"It's okay, North," she reached a tentative hand out to me, "I know that you're growly."

"Sang Baby, you were so scared this morning." I looked down at my boots, feeling defeated and not able to raise my eyes to hers. Her hand squeezed mine tighter and pulled me to look up.

"I wasn't scared of you, North. I was half-asleep and confused and everything was loud and I didn't understand what was happening and it was all just overwhelming." Kota was nodding and I realized that he had already figured this out for himself. She lowered her voice to almost a whisper and continued, "I've always had to react fast to raised voices. To keep myself safe."

Well fuck me.

Mr. Blackbourne took a seat at the foot of her bed and said, "Miss Sorensen, I can't imagine what your life has been like before now, but please, take my word that you are safe with us." He put his hand on her leg and gave it a pat. "My team are the best people to have on your side, and believe me, we are most definitely on your side."

Kota joined in, "Sang, I trust every one of my brothers with my life, and we will do any and every thing to protect you. You don't have to pretend with us. Trust me."

***

Kota was asking me to trust them, to trust him. Could he tell that I was keeping things to myself? I wanted to ask him, but the question that came out was a different one.

"Brothers?" I looked at them. They didn't look related. North laughed and it relieved me a bit. I didn't want to insult any of them, but really, how could all nine of them be siblings?

"Sang Baby, we aren't a family of blood. Our family is a choice. Well except Luke, he actually is my step brother."

Their family was a choice? I didn't know that you could do that. I looked down at the scars on my arms from years of my mother's 'affection'. I felt a deep pit of longing open up inside of me. I wanted what they had. Its been years since I let myself wish for anything bigger than my next meal. Dare I dream? The yearning in my heart was too big. If I wasn't careful, it would consume me whole.

***