Found - Harry Styles [AU]

10.

NARRY IS MY FAVE

OK BYE

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HARRY

I left. I left here standing in the hallway of my childhood home. I didn't look back. I carried on looking forward. I walked down the streets that I knew like the back of my hands and I didn't stop once or look back to see anyone following me. I knew she wouldn't follow me. I just broke her. I know I did. I left after she told me I was William's father. She had so much hope in her eyes when she told me at first. Like she thought we could all be a happy family, or like I was actually going to stay and be his father. She had so much hope and I destroyed it. I destroyed it by walking away from the only chance I had, at having everything I have ever wanted, the girl, the family, everything.

I didn't know where I was going until I stopped in front of the building. An old looking pub where I knew my father use to go to get drunk every night.

I walked in and nothing had changed. It still had the smell of smoke and beer all mixed together. People's voice filled the silence, with cheers of the drunks. My feet carried me to the bar, where I ordered a drink.

I don't know why I came here. I left because I needed to clear my head but right now I was just proving to myself that I am exactly like my father. I ran from my problems and am here getting drunk instead of figuring them out. This just proved to me that I couldn't be a father to William, I don't know why April thought I could. I'm a piece of trash like my father was.

APRIL

"What do you mean you cant find him?" I heard Anne's worried voice fill the house as I tried to get to sleep.

William was asleep next to me, cuddled up to my side but I some how couldn't get a wink of sleep. I knew I was tired but for some reason I couldn't close my eyes and fall asleep. I kept opening them and just stared at the ceiling. Nothing was working and I knew why. I knew it was because Harry wasn't home. I knew it was because he was angry and out and anything could happen. Now hearing Anne's worried voice speaking to the boys through the phone made me not sleep even more. Knowing they cant find him made me wonder where he could've gone. He was so angry and I was scared. Scared of what he might do. I know what I told him was big news but I didn't think he would take it this badly. Hell, of course I did. I just covered it up by thinking of all the good things that could've come out of this.

"I know a place he might of gone.." Anne trailed off sadly, like she wished where she thinks he is, isn't true. "There's a little pub about a mile away from here. Des use to drink there, its called the Bow. He might be there. Okay see you soon" Anne finished off her sentence slowly and I started to think.

He went to the pub his father use to get drunk at. He knew his father went there, so he did too.

"I don't want to be like Des"

His words echoed in my head and I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes. He was scared to be like his father. He was scared. However he was proving not only to himself but to everyone else around him that he is becoming his father. Going to the same pub Des went to, is showing everyone that he is going to become no different. He isn't trying to be different. Harry is letting himself become someone he doesn't want to become and what for?

HARRY

I don't know how many drinks I had when I heard someone shout my name from the door. I didn't look to see who it was. Even though my tipsy state I knew it was Louis. I also knew when he got closer that the other boys were with him. I didn't say anything to them when I felt their presence by my side.

"Another one please" I slurred to the bar man.

"No, his done for the night" Louis interrupted the bar man from pouring.

The bar man looked at me before nodding his head at Louis and walking off to serve someone else.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked, finally turning on the bar stool to face all of them.

"You really aren't trying are you?" Louis announced, ignoring my question, making me look at him confused.

"Trying what?"

"Not to be your father."

"I am not him!" I shouted, getting angry at Louis for even thinking that.

Even though I couldn't say anything myself, as only a couple of minutes ago I was thinking the same thing.

"So sitting in the pub your dad use to get drunk in doing exactly the same thing he would've done, isn't you being him?" Louis said flatly and I stayed quiet, knowing even in my drunken state that he was right. "I told April to tell you about William. I figured it out ages ago and I knew you deserved to know. Somehow between then and now I think he didn't. You treated her like crap when you spoke with her. You left her crying in the middle of the hallway and didn't even look back. I don't know why but I thought you would be happy, excited even that you finally could have everything you ever wanted. You could have the family you always wanted. You always told me you wanted to have a family to prove to everyone that you were nothing like De, but right now, right now you're proving everyone right. That you are exactly like him. You're not even trying to not be like him Harry. You're letting yourself become someone you don't want to be." Louis finally finished his rant and even though I was drunk, I just hoped I remembered this tomorrow because everything he said was right and was everything I needed to get myself back to who I want to be.

"Lets go home." Liam suggested as Niall helped me up.

I put my arm over Niall's shoulder as we walked a couple feet behind the rest of the boys.

I didn't say anything else on the way home. I didn't say anything to anyone when I walked into the house. Mum looked upset but I didn't register it in my drunken state. I let go off Niall as we reached the top of the stairs. I looked towards the spare room, where I knew April was staying and before I knew it my feet had carried me to her door.

"Harry.." Niall called.

"I just want to see them" I slurred and slowly opened the door.

The room was dark but I could them both perfectly. William was cuddling April's side as she faced the ceiling. William had his thumb in his mouth making me smile as it reminded me of what I use to do when I was little. Her eyes are closed, eye lashes lightly resting on her cheeks. Her breathing was slow, showing she definitely was asleep and at peace. Even from this far away and in the dark I could see the dried tears on April's face. I knew they were because of me and that made me feel a pain in my chest. I didn't want her to be crying because of me. I wanted her to be happy because of me and right now I knew tomorrow I had to do something to make it up to her. To make everything right. However I knew it wouldn't be right. I knew tomorrow would be so different. Not just the day but April too, she would be different tomorrow and I don't know why or even how I will make everything right. 

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HERES A CHAPTER FOR YOU HONEY BUNS

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