hit and run

Chapter 50

BELLA

I don't know why he gave that to me. I don't know why he thought that I would want it. But I gave it back the second I got upstairs.

Would've thrown it in his face if Anthony wasn't right there. Was it so hard to understand that he lost his right to give me anything when he cheated on me? I was not going to forgive him and we weren't going to be friends. I didn't care for his gifts. For someone graduating in three weeks he wasn't the smartest person on the planet.

I spent the week with either Isaac, Ethan, Darren or Chris. Sometimes we didn't go to my house because Anthony and Maya were home and that was just awkward city. My brother wasn't one to tell me I couldn't have any boys over because I wasn't dating any of these guys. They all understood the whole no strings thing, and that's why we rarely talked during school hours.

Sure it was fun being lavished with all this attention, but I missed having someone to fall asleep next to and wake up beside. I needed to heal first and I guess it started by being surrounded with people that wanted me.

Today I was with Chris, and he had dark sandy hair and pale green eyes. He was really cute and pulled off this surfer look that I liked. But he was also all about being straight to the point and not waiting for pleasantries.

We were sitting on my bed and he was gripping my hips and kissing my lips with a lot of force. I also missed some sort of spark when I felt someone's hands on mine or lips on mine. But here I felt absolutely nothing. There was no substance.

"Let me touch you." He whispered in my ear, and I nodded with my hair falling on my face. He laid me down on my bed, and then there was some noise from downstairs. Well shit.

"Go check who it is," I said and then flipped back on the bed. If it was Anthony he could leave. My mom or Phil, he had to be quiet and if it was Justin then I really didn't care.

"Why is that guy always here?" He asked. So it was Justin. There were rules in place when I ever I 'hung out' with these guys. Never talk to Harry. Don't ask about Phil. And do not under any circumstances talk to or let Justin speak to them. So when Chris asked about Justin I didn't answer and just continued to kiss him. He gripped my hips tighter and then kissed my neck and bit my flesh. Definitely not.

Chris put me down on my bed and the removed my shirt from above my head. I felt very self-conscious but tried not to show it. Justin used to make me feel beautiful. And when we did anything sexual I never felt overly self-conscious but with these guys I did.

He gripped my skirt and undid the button, he didn't waste time in pulling my underwear down and pressing his cool finger to my center. Nothing.

He pumped his finger in out of me at a fast pace. More like drilling it in my vagina, where the fuck did he think it was going to go? I kept pushing his shoulder because yes it did hurt but he was getting the message.

"Stop," I shouted and pushed him hard so he fell back a little. I was just about ready to cry but kept myself together, and put my underwear back on. "Get out."

"Hey relax okay." Relax? No. Why did guys have to be such pigs? I knew I wasn't the girl that let her boyfriend take advantage of. And I promised myself that I would never let anyone touch me the way that Jason did. So Chris telling me to relax when he was hurting me, just made him sound like the douche bag that he was.

"Get the hell out of my house," I said and threw him his things. He rolled his eyes and opened the door and walked away. When he opened the door Justin was standing in the hallway looking at him and then back at me with this concern in his eyes. Oh hell no.