And Then We All Fell Down...[EDITING]

Chapter 2: Operation Go Time

Chapter 2: Operation Go Time

When I woke up the next morning, I felt different. But it was the good type of different.. After thinking last night, I was feeling pretty determined to work on my anxiety. After yesterday, I realized I was at rock bottom and there literally was nowhere to go but up. I woke up feeling sure it wouldn't be anything I couldn't handle.

Right?

Though I had a little confidence, my old shy self was still there. I began over thinking(Yes again.I told you I over-think everything.) For one, I was never good at talking to other people, so I racked my brain trying to figure out what I would say to this unnamed person. And also how I would say it so I didn't come off as a creep.

After getting ready, I headed out to school. It was about a 20 minute walk, so it was plenty of time to think. You see, a normal person would use the time to clear their mind. But as you can see I'm not normal. The school in sight, my nerves kicked into high gear. All my life, I never knew why I had anxiety, but for now, that thought is being pushed to the back burner.

Again.

After going through school scanning and gathering what I needed out my locker, I was greeted by Alexis. She seemed to be in a good mood, but then again, she always is.
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"Hey Stella!" She greeted me with a smile.

"Hey.. Oh, by the way, I'm really sorry for hanging up on you yesterday."

"Aw, don't worry about it. We've been best friends since elementary school. I know when you need your space."

" Thanks." I smiled.

"Anyways, so yesterday after you hung up i decided to find out who Mr.Mysterious was."

" You didn't have to do that Alexis."

"Yes I did. But anyways his name is Carter Mitchell and you happen to have 1st and 7th period with him."

"Is he a sophomore?"

"No, he's actually a junior. He just takes sophomore classes. But that's not the point. I have a plan."

"Oh no what is it?" I said honestly dreading what she was about to say.

"You, my dear will be talking to him at lunch."

"No.. No way.." I said disagreeing almost immediately.

"Yes way. Come on girl you got this." She said just as the bell rang signaling the beginning of first period.

"Bye Stella! I don't wanna be late! She yelled running off.

Awe man, what the hell am i doing to myself?" I said to myself aloud, running off to first period myself.
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FIRST PERIOD

Walking into the room, everyone just looked at me. In my head, they were all laughing because of yesterday's incident. Feeling uncomfortable, I took my seat. Throughout the period, I listened to Mr.Ramsey ramble on about physics and tried everything in my ability to not look over to where carter was sitting.I tried my best to focus but all I could think about was lunch. I wish it was about the food but sadly it wasnt.

Was I going to choke? Would he just laugh and walk away?

Knowing me, I was probably going to screw it up. The bell rang for first period to end around 10 minutes later, so I packed up everything and rushed out before carter.
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For the rest of the day before lunch came, I tried not thinking about it. I had my free period before lunch, so I actually thought I could maybe escape my doom.

"NO" I told myself. I needed to do this. I knew I'd feel better once I did.

Right?

Wrong.

"Oh god.. This is going to be horrible." I said to myself.

Plopping onto the bean bag chair, I closed my eyes.

When the bell rang for lunch, I got up, grabbed my bag, took a deep breath, and said "You got this Stella."
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LUNCH

I walked into the lunchroom trying to stay calm. I know, I know, you think I'm exaggerating. But I'm not. You saw(or in this case read) what happened yesterday. But as I sat down, I took my journal out and began writing until I looked up to see Alexis and Carter walking my way.

I took a deep breath and I was ready. (At least, I think I was).

"Hey Stella. This is Carter Mitchell. Carter Mitchell meet Stella Williams."

" H-hi.."

"Hey" he said. I could tell he was uncomfortable.

That made two of us.

Alexis breaking the silence almost immediately, she said, "Well, I'm going to go get food. Anyone want anything? No okay!" She said rushing away.

" Well actually can you get me.." I tried to say but it was too late. She was gone.

Great. Turning around, I realized Carter was still there.

Come on Stella. Just.. Talk to him.

"So... How's life?"

What in the actual hell was wrong with me? Beginning to feel flustered, I just opened my journal and began writing.

" What're you writing?" He asked looking into my journal.

"O-oh nothing." I said closing my journal quickly.

"Oh, sorry for intruding" he said weirded out.

And once again there was complete silence. In a room. Filled with people talking.

" I mean.. Its really just my thoughts.. Sorry.."

"It's all cool.. I think its cool you do that.."

" Really? Thanks.." I said smiling.

This was actually going well.. At least I thought it was... Until alexis came back.

"Oh hey love birds what are you talking about?" She said laughing.

I gave her the death look and she immediately stop laughing.

"Wait. What?" He said confused.

" Nothing. Leave it."

" I swear she called us love birds.."

"Yeah she did" I said quietly..

"Why?"

" Because..."

"Because what?" He said sounding annoyed.

"Nothing.. Forget it." I said as i grabbed my stuff.

I looked back and saw him and Alexis exchange a couple words before she handed a paper to him. As he parted with a bye, I walked out the lunchroom with a feeling of embarrassment and sadness overwhelm me.
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The feeling of being bummed out stayed with me the whole day..

When school ended, I didn't go straight home. I went to the park and cleared my head.. For once, I wasn't thinking.

Whatever feeling this was, I knew it wouldn't last for long. But I couldn't help thinking if it meant I was starting to rid of my anxiety. But if I was, I had a long road ahead of me.

And that road seemed endless..