The Survible

Survival Guide Entry #1

There's so few of us these days. I think it's nice, because the world is sort of wide open now. Places you couldn't go before, you can now.

Well, provided they're on the same landmass as you. The utter lack of society has been a real bummer for those of us who always wanted to kiss under the Eiffel Tower but didn't live in Europe.

Still, you gotta be so so so careful where you decide to live. Location, location, location!

Don't stay in your home. Chances are, you lived in an apartment complex, or a suburb. Or worse, in a stack of town homes in the city. GET OUT OF THERE!!!

Get into the country. I know what you're saying, trust me I know. You watched Shark Week, and bears are basically land sharks. I get it. There's a lot of big, scary wildlife out there, but you know what? The wildlife is in the cities too. And so are people. You gotta get away from people if you wanna hack it without being someone's bitch. 

You gotta find a piece of land, far away from anything that might attract people, like a gas station or a brewery(seriously, stay the heck away from anything to do with drugs, cigarettes, or booze, cause people flock to it like flies). It should have water. Here's a fun fact: despite being the farming region of the US, the mid-west is actually bone dry. Don't settle there, because you'll starve, or dry out and blow away like the dust. Also, hello! Tornado Alley?! Yikes. Nobody needs that.

So yeah. Isolated as heck, gotta have water, and check what's growing nearby. It'll tell you what the soil and weather are like there. That matters, cause you gotta farm. It's harder than it looks, but you'll feel like a champ when it works. You need a good mix of cover and open land. Open for your farm, so it gets as much sunlight as possible, and cover for you, cause you don't wanna be seen and building a shelter is hecka hard. 

I know it's pretty tempting to use something that's already standing, but you should avoid that. Here's the thing--a standing structure means that someone already found that place, and liked it well enough to stick around awhile. That means it'll get found again. And stay away from roads! You should never be able to see your pad from a paved road. That's too exposed. Trust me. Remember that movie The Scourge? Where they suspended laws for a day and let everyone go nuts? That's what every day is like. You gotta assume everyone you meet is gonna kill you and take your stuff. It's easier than making or foraging for stuff yourself. So isolation is key. 

A good idea for baby's first survival camp is to snag yourself a tent and a gazebo from the outdoors store. I'll talk more about that later, cause raiding shops is so important but everyone gets it all wrong. Gotta go--I just heard something!