The Girl With The Red Hair

chapter three

Chapter Three: Safe Place

-Lina's P.O.V.-

As many thought, I didn't grow up into the person I am today by choice. Nothing occurred that had flicked my switch; pressured me being different. The day I was born, my journey of trying to figure out who I truly was had started. It began from the day I tugged at my mothers hair with enough force to rip it out, to the time I found Joanna's collection of sharpies and decided to give Jackson a makeover.

Even when I was just three years old, my rebellious self was already kicking in, preparing for my endless expedition of trying to discover my passions and personality; which changed quite frequently at the time.

And throughout my entire life so far, I've been known as a teen in denial; a hopeless girl trying to avoid who she's really supposed to be. I didn't give myself this title, my family did. The same people who raised me, my own flesh and blood. I don't see the point of bystanders putting the blame on me, it's not as if I enjoy being labelled. It's hard to believe that the the people in your life who are supposed to be the most supportive and loyal, think of you as a complication. I've done some questionable things in the past, that's something I won't deny. However, no matter what way you look at it, nothing is unforgivable.

If someone makes a mistake that you consider unforgivable, that's just the voice in your head lying to you. Convincing you that if you give this person mercy, you'll just end up getting hurt again. And in some situations this is true. But there's such thing as moving on and leaving it in your past, because right now you're living in the present.

Forgiving and forgetting is something I greatly believe in, because I'm not fond of being haunted my my past choices and mistakes. My parents give me lectures and arguments, trying to convince me that my lifestyle is unhealthy. In most ways, I can see where they're coming from. But it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than it is to be absolutely boring. If you're gonna have one shot at life, you better take a great hit and make sure it goes far.

Yet, what happened back in Ms. Adrianne's classroom was completely unacceptable. Almost persuading me that it was unforgettable. I was not in any way, shape or form going to allow my mother to bring Joanna and Jackson up in that situation. I was not going to sit there hopelessly and listen to her rant about their success.

Once you've grown older, married, and thinking of having children, be wise about it before making that decision. If you're going to have kids, wether they're adopted or biological, have them because you're dedicated to caring for them. Showing affection, being there for them when you're needed, staying loyal and understanding. Accepting their opinions and choices, being supportive, leading them in the right direction and keeping them from getting caught in an inescapable ditch of poor choices. Be their mother or father because you know you'll love 'em despite what happens.

Don't have children to force them into being successful and keep your family's reputation from getting damaged. Don't raise kids to show them off or compare them to other unfortunate families. If you're going to be a good parent, stay within the boundaries, break the rules once in awhile, and overall commit to parenting by doing it the responsible and understanding way.

My mother is handling parenthood incorrectly. She's clearly hand picking favourites and showing off who has accomplished more goals. My father on the other hand, has been nothing but supportive for my sake. He stands up for me when things are getting heated, and overall just understands the complication I call my life. Whereas my mother is eager to make me forget about everything I want for my future. She wants me to throw away the dreams I want to pursue, and instead, follow in her footprints. She's trying to drive me away from what she calls toxic and unhealthy, but isn't realizing that it's hurting me in the process.