Venom In My Veins (A Draco Malfoy Love Story, Threequal)

Me and My Thinking

I was up long before the twins could even rub the sleep from their eyes.
All I could think about all night was my father's eyes.
The darkness etched inside the retina, distorting his world.
His judgement.
Making his whole life dark, destructive.
I faintly remember a time when that wasn't there.
When we are all normal.
When we were a family.
Now, it just feels like a dream.
A silly wish that never came true.
Mom, Dad, My sister, and me.
Was it really all that long ago?
Or is my bitterness clouding the timeline?
This is my reality now.
Last night made that clear.
To fight for what is right, I will have to fight my parents and maybe even kill them.
And they might even have to kill me.
I was beyond saving now.
They will never be able to protect me from Lord Voldemort and I will never give in.
I will die before that happens.
Turning over, I found myself facing a drooling, ginger headed, Weasley.
Fred.
The best kind of Weasley in my book.
On top of everything else going wrong in my life, I had to wonder, was Fred just one more thing?
He was everything I could ever want in a guy.
He was everything Draco wasn't.
And he really liked me.
So why did I feel so guilty?
When I kissed Fred, the feeling was indescribable.
It was perfection.
But when I sit and think about it, the sinking feeling creeps in.
Along with the memories of him.
Of Draco and I.
The love we shared.
I wanted to just obliviate that part of my life but I could never bring myself to do so.
I was still holding onto him.
The idea of him.
I had a choice.
Stay dedicated to an idea or live in reality.
Craning my neck, I lifted my head and kissed Fred on the cheek.
He was my now.
Yawning, Fred stretched his arms up and wrapped them around me.
Holding my head below his chin, I breathed in his sweet smell.
"Well, isn't this a good morning" He muttered, kissing my forehead sweetly.
"Great morning" I whispered.
I smiled to myself as the words left my lips.
I didn't intend for them to slip out, they just happened to escape on their own.
No matter how much you try, the truth will always find a way of showing itself.
Pulling away slightly, Fred positioned himself so he could meet my gaze.
"About last night, I want you to know, that you don't have to act like you are ok with it, like it's just something you have to do. He is your father and I realize how much that must hurt knowing what has to be done. If you want to talk about it, im here for you. You aren't alone." He held onto my face with both hands, as I took in everything he was saying.
"Or you could not say anything at all and just stare into my deep soulful eyes as you fall even more in love with me"
I cracked a smile.
"You know how long i've had a crush on you Fredrick Weasley?"
Expecting a cocky response, I was delighted with what actually came out of his mouth, "About as long as I've had a crush on you, which would be the exact moment we met if i am correct."
Well, he wasn't wrong
I could feel that I was looking at him too long, too intense.
But it wasn't uncomfortable, it seemed almost normal.
I wanted to say a lot of crap that was on my mind.
All of it being mushy and about his crap face and how adorable I find his nose.
So instead I got practical.
"So, what do we do now? Where is Harry?"
George finally chose to make his presence known by answering.
"He is fine, with the family at the cabin. We will need to meet them sooner or later"
He sipped his tea at the kitchen table and gave me a cheeky grin.
"It doesn't seem like you two will be wanting to get up anytime soon"
I rolled my eyes and cringed against the words.
What was I even doing here?
Laying next to Fred on his couch, snuggled close like he was my life vest and I was about to drown.
Was any of this real or am I just looking for my own personal air filled raft ready to keep me afloat?
"A war is coming, who would want to get up on a day like today?" Fred whispered under his breath, stress lining the corners of his eyes.
My heart sank.
Never once have I seen Fred so, helpless and it gave me the push I needed.
"I was thinking, maybe I could go and talk to someone, someone who will listen to me and let me in"
I winced my eyes shut knowing the thoughts running through their heads.
"You can't be serious Anna, you just got away. We couldnt possibly rescue you a second time.."
George stood from the table and leaned against the wall in front of us.
He knew what I was thinking.
I knew he wouldn't like it.
"I honestly don't think he would turn me in, George" I stated, sitting upright on the couch and planting my feet on the cold wood floor.
"He hates you and is obsessed with you all at the same time, It's a wonder how the boy sleeps at night. You would be giving him what he wants, a way to trap you into his lifestyle again. He will call them Anna, and then what?"
He made some very valid points but something inside of me was saying to push it.
Maybe it was the fact that i still loved him.
Or the fact that i knew he still loved me too.
He wouldn't hurt me like that.
He couldn't
I think...
"Draco is the last chance to get some information on what the Dark Lord is planning. I have to try George."
I stood my ground.
If it was to help Harry, It was to help us all.
"It's your funeral"
I chuckled at his words.
Fred sat up finally and layed a strong hand on my back.
"I don't like the idea but if it's what you think needs to me done, I'll help any way I can"
Glancing over my shoulder at him, I smirked.
"I have just the job for you"