Awesome Quotes, Comebacks, and Insults!

Jackass: The Movie.

So this is for the amazing men who are totally insane to actually be in a Jackass movie, cause it looks like hell to be in one. Also in memory of Ryan Dunn, a member of the Jackass cast, who was killed in June of 2011 in a car crash. RIP Ryan.

Johnny Knoxville: "I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" - I put this in because he says that in the beginning of every film.

***

Ryan Dunn: "I'm Ryan Dunn, and I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl." - Yes, he did get beat up, she popped his lip if I remember correctly, although he did punch her in the face a few times, and don't worry, she was a lightweight champion at boxing, so it wasn't to be mean.

***

Steve-O: "Hi it's cold in Japan, so were going to warm ourselves up with some fireworks." - Yes they did, Steve-O put a few up his ass and lit them, they burnt all his butt, and another man (Chris Pontius) tied it to his erm... penis. Yeah, awkward.

***

Bam Margera: "Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "f*ck" by the end of this movie." - After sticking an alligator, yes alligator in his own mother's house, she completely freaked, and yeah, she said f*ck, a lot.

***

Chris Pontius: "I guess I don't have any last words. I'm just gonna kill myself once I lose my wiener." - After him and Steve-O put shrimp down their pants and went swimming with a couple of whale sharks, no biggie.

***

Johnny Knoxville: "I think I'm a little concussed." - After having a boxing match with a heavy weight champion, he had a big cut on the back of it head, it sucked.

***

Steve-O: "You know it's when like your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed" You know that hurt so much more" -Laughs- - Explaining why he refused to stick a toy car up his butt, don't worry Ryan Dunn did it in his place.

***

Bam Margera: "Whose d*ck do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?"

***

Steve-O: "We wanted to see if you would run!"
Ryan Dunn: "I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt."

***

Ryan Dunn: "What a dumbass idea! I'm surrounded by cacti, for f*ck's sake!"
Spike Jonze: "*Offscreen* It's cactus!"
Ryan Dunn: "It's cacti! Whatever it is it hurts!"

***

After disturbing a golf game with an air horn:
Angry Golfer: Didn't I tell you I was going to come over here and kick your ass for that?
Johnny Knoxville: But... I'm sorry. I got bursitis.
Angry Golfer: You got bursitis.
Johnny Knoxville: Yeah.
Angry Golfer: So that means you gotta play with a horn?
Johnny Knoxville: It helps.
Angry Golfer: I'll give you something to play with, pal! - This was so funny! The golfer threw a golf club at them all when they were hiding in the trees xD

***

Johnny Knoxville: [to Steve-O] Go grab the dead kitty!
-Later, in disbelief after Steve-O exits the poo river-  
Johnny Knoxville: You're not going to save the kitty?  

***

 -On the "Butt-x-ray" where Ryan put the toy car up his butt-
Steve-O: If Ryan was an animal, what would he be?
Manny Puig: This doesn't happen in nature.  

***

Johnny Knoxville: -laughing at Dave England who has shit himself- "Oh shit, I'm taking a cab back to the hotel!"  

***

Ehren McGhehey: "What's wrong?"
Johnny Knoxville: "I done fell and busted my ass, that's what's f*ckin' wrong!"  

***

Brandon Dicamillo: And today, good sirs, I will stick my lance far beyond where the light of our world shines, deep into the colon of our enemy. Sir Bam-a-lot, you will feel a lot of my lance in your ass.