Whouffle: Clara Who?

Who the hell are you?

A/N hi!!!!!! im Alex, I write these fanfictions during school lessons (boring lessons) all the time so I thought i'd share them with you guys!!! This fanfic is a whouffle au where Clara is the time traveller and the Doctor (Matt Smith in this case) is just an ordinary guy who likes cooking!!

Matt Smith was cooking dinner when it happened. He had a knack for cooking, probably from his mum. Just as he was taking his fishfingers out of the oven, he heard a giant crash, making him drop his tray piled with fishfingers. "Damn!" he cried as they fell to the floor. After he'd picked them all up, he stormed into his back garden, slightly frustrated. He stopped.

"Of all the things-" Matt was astounded. At the end of his garden, was a blue 1960s police box. With a bang, one of the doors flew open and lots of yellow smoke hissed out. All of a sudden, a hand grabbed on to the edge. Then another. Making Matt jump out of his skin. a head popped up. It was a woman, of about 27. Her hair was in a bob, down to her shoulders, and was dark brown. She was very small and had cute little dimples on her cheeks. Cute as she looked, she had a very sassy aura to her. Bewildered, Matt cried, "Who the hell are you?" The mysterious woman got out of the blue box, looking rather offended.

"Well, I've never been greeted like that before! Moving on, I'm Clara." Matt shot her a quizzical look.

"Clara? Clara who?" She rolled her eyes expectantly.

"Wow, I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm Clara Oswald. And you are?"

"Oh, erm, I'm Matt, Matt Smith. N-nice to meet you." He held out his hand awkwardly, much to Clara's amusement. Despite her urge to laugh at Matt's cuteness, she took his hand and shook it.

"Nice to meet you too!" Moving on from the greetings, Matt's rather curious nature forced him to ask one vital question: "What's that blue thing?" Clara looked rather offended, but there was a small smile underneath, Matt noticed. Stop! he told himself. I wasn't looking at her lips, no, I wasn't! Stop! Snapping him out of his thoughts, Clara began to answer his question.

"This." she began dramatically, "is the TARDIS. Stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. My spaceship. Isn't she beautiful? Well, she normally is, but we crashed when we were heading for Raxicoricofallapotorious." Matt looked that confused you could almost see the cogs turning in his brain.

"I didn't understand a word of that! I mean, Raxi-what?"

"Never mind. Can I stay here until the TARDIS has repaired herself?"

"S-sure, erm, are you like, an alien?"

Clara laughed. "You got a problem with that? Anyone might think you were an alien with that chin!"

"Oi! Anyway, if you're an alien, you're not bad looking," said Matt, completely unaware that he was eyeing Clara up and down. Clara however, was aware. She hit him on the arm playfully, if not a little hard.

"Hey! Eyes front soldier!" Matt turned a bright shade of red.

"I - wh - I - m-my eyes are always front!" Clara just giggled at his embarrassment then grabbed his hand and pulled him to his house. "Don't you need any clothes and things?" asked Matt once him and Clara were in his house.

"Oh, I erm, I thought your girlfriend might have some spare clothes." she replied.

"What girlfriend?" Matt said glumly, whereas Clara's face lit up. Matt didn't notice this as he was too busy wishing Clara was his girlfriend. I only met her like 5 minutes ago!! Stop it, Matt, stop it!!!

"Oh, okay, I'll go and get some stuff then! Back in a mo!" And with that, Clara skipped off like a little girl to get her clothes. By the time she had come back, she smelled something delicious, which made her realise how hungry she was. Curious, she followed the smell and ended up in the kitchen. She gasped. Laid out on the table was a beautiful cloth, with two plates set up on it, containing what looked like 5-star standard homemade fish and chips. There was a candle in the middle of the table which Clara thought was adorable. Stealthily, Matt walked up behind Clara and put his hands on her shoulders, making her jump and turn around. Once again, she gasped. Matt had put on a full black suit with a black bow tie.

"Only the best for an alien." he said with a smile.