Now And Then

Then (Introducing Kevin)

It started in sixty-three, behind the seven-eleven. Jeff took a drag off of his cigarette and offered it to Matt as he approached us. Matt simply shook his head and Jeff took another drag. I grabbed a fresh one out of the pack sitting on the crate and lit it up. It didn’t take much for us to realize that it had happened, all he had to do was reach for the letter in his jacket and we knew. The look in his eyes told us everything we needed to know. I sat there in silence while Jeff said “No, man, no, not you,” and Mary started to silently cry. Matt slapped the letter down on the crate, just in case one of us wanted to scrutinize it, to hopefully find some error that he had missed, something that would relieve us and make it so that he wouldn’t be going. But no, as Jeff walked away down the alley cursing the world, cursing Kennedy, cursing everything, and as Matt led Mary off to the other side to reassure her, I read the letter. I read it again and again, two tears rolling down my face. I slammed my hand down on top of the draft notice and shouted profanities into the air. Matt and Mary walked back down the alley to me. She was somewhat reassured. I knew they had a good thing going, so I made the appropriate offer.

“I’ll go.”

“No.”

“Matt.”

“Kevin.”

That was the only exchange between us, but I knew there was no convincing him. He was against the war in ‘Nam just as much as, hell, more then I was. The universe had it out for him from day one, because this was just the newest installment in a long line of tragedies that is Matt’s life. “I get shipped off at the end of the month.” That was all he said before he turned, kissed Mary on the head, and left the alley behind the seven-eleven.

Jeff and I wondered why it had to be him. We talked about having one of us show up to the deployment office a day or so early and pretend to be him – they wouldn’t know the difference. Hell, they didn’t care, as long as they get a soldier. But we knew Matt wouldn’t have allowed it, we knew that he would have never spoken to us again if we went to war in his place. So we sat back, shed our tears, and cherished every last minute we had with Matt before he got shipped out.

The day he shipped out was a sad one. Mary was bawling while we stood at the bus depot, and Jeff and I shed tears too. We all realized that this could very likely be the last chance we had to see Matt alive. He waved at us one last time, stepped on the bus, and off he went. Just like that, my best friend was being shipped to Vietnam. Since Matt was on the bus that disappeared over the horizon, Mary ran into my arms, sobbing. I held her for what seemed like forever, even when Jeff patted me on the shoulder and said something about having to leave. Mary and I stood there until it got dark and I drove her home.

Now and then, I still wonder if there’s anything else I could have done.